The Difference Between Conservatives and Liberals

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

[_EAllusion]

The majority of liberals are religious.

[_Analytics]

The majority of liberals are religious.

The act of "getting off your knees and actually doing something" isn't only for the irreligious, is it?

[_Droopy]

If you are pro-choice on abortion, but anti-choice on almost everything else

You think Ted Koppel's Hair is real!

You like to give to charities - with other people's money.

Your father wore flowers and your mother wore army boots in the sixties.

6 You think Al Gore won the election in 2000.

You fondly recall Stalin as "Uncle Joe".

You think the second amendment is the right to keep and bear a white flag.

Whenever you hear Rush Limbaugh's name mentioned you foam at the mouth and your knee jerks.

When hooligans throw rocks at police, you call it civil disobedience, when Republicans protest a fixed election you call it a riot.

If you went to preparation school, got your bachelor's, master's, doctorate; you teach in a university, and still imagine that you know all about the real world, then you might be a liberal.

If you think alcoholics are disabled and deserve Social Security (or should be elected to be the senior senator from Massachussettes) then you might be a liberal.

If you eat granola bars for breakfast, salad greens for lunch, quiche for supper and then wake up hungry in the middle of the night and eat a whole quart of ice cream...and still think you are eating healthy, then you might be a liberal.

If you think rats, mice and houseflies are people, too.

If you think the government can solve your personal problems then you might be a liberal.

If your five-year-old tells you what to do.

If you give money to the homeless man on the corner of the freeway, but you turn up your nose every time you see a boy scout.

If you are against killing convicted murderers, but believe the most innocent human life should be extinguished on demand

If you support wind farms, but not when they want to build one in your backyard.

If you rail against crony capitalism and government subsidization of big corporations, but praise Obama for bailing out GM and Chrysler.

If you file lawsuits to block voter id laws, but require a photo id for a person to enter your office.

If you complain about free market capitalism as you live the American Dream free market capitalism has provided.

If you receive an Academy Award for a documentary about the dangers of global warming, while you live in huge energy-consuming mansions.

if you dismiss out-of-hand any information coming from Fox News, Breitbart, and Newsmax, but you regularly cite sources like MSNBC, ThinkProgress, and Media Matters.

If you believe the federal government spending $2.6 trillion on ObamaCare over a decade is a deficit reduction measure

You are against the War on Terror, but are only too happy to make millions of dollars by making movies about it.

You preach about the evils of Capitalism from the comfort of your Beverly Hills estate

You cry about "profiterring corporations", but still demand your weekly paycheck.

You think "rich people" are evil, but are willing to over-look the fact that Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, George Soros, Michael Moore, and Al Franken are "rich", as well.

You scream and shout when innocent civilians are accidentally caught in the cross-fire, but remain silent when terrorists kill them on purpose

You think OJ Simpson is really looking for the "real killers"

You claim a higher moral ground in opposing the death penalty, but celebrate killing of innocent un-born babies

You think America deserved 9/11

You think the troops are "war criminals", but a thug who killed somebody in cold blood is just a "victim of society"

You think Saddam, Kim Jong Il, and Castro were fairly elected, but President Bush was not

You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon

You think "tolerance" is reserved for those who share your opinions, views, and ideals

You think the name of God/Jesus should be banned and censored, except when spoken as profanity

You think it was wrong for Bush to use images of 9/11 in political ads, but saw nothing wrong with Kerry using flag-draped caskets in his ads.

You refuse to allow a child to carry a Bible to school, but demand that schools make special provisions to accommodate a non-Christian's religious beliefs.

You whine about religious leaders involvement in politics, but only when the Reverend's name is Robertson...not Jackson or Sharpton

You support radical Judges who interpret what they "think" the Constitution means, instead of what it actually says.

You think the meaning and definition of the Constitution should change, based on your own feelings or opinions.

You think Greenpeace and the Earth Liberation Front burning down SUV dealerships or torching chemical plants "help" the environment.

You support low-income housing, until they start to build in your neighborhood.

You think the term "illegal alien" is a bad word

You think Michael Moore's films are "historically accurate"

You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding

You believe that there was no art before Federal funding

You think the only thing wrong with the forged Rather Memo, was people refused to believe it.

You think girls should be allowed to go to an all-boy school, but not the other way around

You support welfare for illegal immigrants who don't pay taxes, anyway

You think Fox News distorts the truth, but Dan Rather reports "honest journalism".

You complain that we never give peace a chance

When asked about your favorite Marx Brother, the first one to come to mind is Karl.

You think NPR is the only really fair and balanced news source

You think race riots are acceptable

You think racial hatred is wrong, but "class hatred" is acceptable

You think that every misbehaving child has ADD and needs to be doped-up on Ritalin.

You believe 1 + 1 = 2, or 3, or 4...or whatever it takes to protect the child's self-esteem

You think that porn should be federally protected per Freedom of Speech, but public profession of Faith should be outlawed.

You applaud Jimmy Carter for talking about Human Rights, but screamed and shouted when President Bush actually did something about it.

You think we should have given Saddam 12 more years, and then 12 more on top of that, if he didn't comply by then

You scream and shout about Christians ramming their beliefs upon you, but you say nothing when Athiests do the same

You think it was "un-ethical" for Bush to accept campaign donations from the NRA, but not when Clinton accepted campaign donations on behalf of the Communist Chinese government.

You think if somebody disagrees w/what is being said, they are challenging or denying your rights to Free Speech

You think that poverty is caused by wealth.

You think the ACLU really gives a damn about individual rights

You think the Dixie Chicks and Tim Robbins should say what they want, but O'reilly, Hannity, and Limbaugh should be censored

You object to little old ladies wearing fur, but not bikers wearing leather

You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy

You think Saddam had WMDs when Clinton was in office, but all of the sudden, didn't have them when Bush was in office.

You think the Middle East crisis can only be solved once Israel is wiped off the map.

You believe the Bible is racist, sexist, and homophobic, but think the Koran should be required reading

You think a lawyer taking 33% from a settlement for his services is fair, but the Government taking 33% of your paycheck for taxes is "too low"

You find Christianity and anything relating to it potentially harmful to you and your children, but you're completely open-minded to Witchcraft, occult-ism, mysticism, etc

You think only white people can be racist

You believe that posting the "Ten Commandments" in schools will hurt the children, but promoting homosexuality and paganism "helps" the children

You think the answer to ANY crime no matter how heinous or serious, is counseling.

You only watch "All in The Family", because Meathead made so much sense

You think hunters don't care about the environment, but environmentalists who have never stepped foot outside of their local Starbucks, do

You think it takes a village, instead of parents, to raise a child

You think tolerance of your opinions and acceptance of your opinions go hand-in-hand

[Guest]

Culled from here and there on the web and edited for being the most true to the subject matter:

If you are pro-choice on abortion, but anti-choice on almost everything else

You think Ted Koppel's Hair is real!

You like to give to charities - with other people's money.

Your father wore flowers and your mother wore army boots in the sixties.

6 You think Al Gore won the election in 2000.

You fondly recall Stalin as "Uncle Joe".

You think the second amendment is the right to keep and bear a white flag.

Whenever you hear Rush Limbaugh's name mentioned you foam at the mouth and your knee jerks.

When hooligans throw rocks at police, you call it civil disobedience, when Republicans protest a fixed election you call it a riot.

If you went to preparation school, got your bachelor's, master's, doctorate; you teach in a university, and still imagine that you know all about the real world, then you might be a liberal.

If you eat granola bars for breakfast, salad greens for lunch, quiche for supper and then wake up hungry in the middle of the night and eat a whole quart of ice cream...and still think you are eating healthy.

If you think rats, mice and houseflies are people, too.

If you think the government can solve your personal problems.

If your five-year-old tells you what to do.

If you give money to the homeless man on the corner of the freeway, but you turn up your nose every time you see a boy scout.

If you are against killing convicted murderers, but believe the most innocent human life should be extinguished on demand

If you support wind farms, but not when they want to build one in your backyard.

If you rail against crony capitalism and government subsidization of big corporations, but praise Obama for bailing out GM and Chrysler.

If you file lawsuits to block voter id laws, but require a photo id for a person to enter your office.

If you complain about free market capitalism as you live the American Dream free market capitalism has provided.

If you receive an Academy Award for a documentary about the dangers of global warming, while you live in huge energy-consuming mansions.

if you dismiss out-of-hand any information coming from Fox News, Breitbart, and Newsmax, but you regularly cite sources like MSNBC, ThinkProgress, and Media Matters.

If you believe the federal government spending $2.6 trillion on ObamaCare over a decade is a deficit reduction measure

You preach about the evils of Capitalism from the comfort of your Beverly Hills estate

You cry about "profiteering corporations", but still demand your weekly paycheck.

You think "rich people" are evil, but are willing to over-look the fact that Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, George Soros, Michael Moore, and Al Franken are "rich", as well.

You scream and shout when innocent civilians are accidentally caught in the cross-fire, but remain silent when terrorists kill them on purpose

You think OJ Simpson is really looking for the "real killers"

You claim a higher moral ground in opposing the death penalty, but celebrate killing of innocent unborn babies

You think America deserved 9/11

You think the troops are "war criminals", but a thug who killed somebody in cold blood is just a "victim of society"

You think Saddam, Kim Jong Il, and Castro were fairly elected, but President Bush was not

You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon

You think "tolerance" is reserved for those who share your opinions, views, and ideals

You think the name of God/Jesus should be banned and censored, except when spoken as profanity

You think it was wrong for Bush to use images of 9/11 in political ads, but saw nothing wrong with Kerry using flag-draped caskets in his ads.

You refuse to allow a child to carry a Bible to school, but demand that schools make special provisions to accommodate a non-Christian's religious beliefs.

You whine about religious leaders involvement in politics, but only when the Reverend's name is Robertson...not Jackson or Sharpton

You support radical Judges who interpret what they "think" the Constitution means, instead of what it actually says.

You think the meaning and definition of the Constitution should change, based on your own feelings or opinions.

You think Greenpeace and the Earth Liberation Front burning down SUV dealerships or torching chemical plants "help" the environment.

You support low-income housing, until they start to build in your neighborhood.

You think the term "illegal alien" is a bad word

You think Michael Moore's films are documentaries.

You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding

You believe that there was no art before Federal funding

You think the only thing wrong with the forged Rather Memo, was people refused to believe it.

You think girls should be allowed to go to an all-boy school, but not the other way around.

You think Fox News distorts the truth, but Dan Rather reports "honest journalism".

You complain that we never give peace a chance

When asked about your favorite Marx Brother, the first one to come to mind is Karl.

You think NPR is the only really fair and balanced news source

You think race riots are acceptable

You think racial hatred is wrong, but "class hatred" is acceptable

You substitute Ritalin for parental authority.

You believe 1 + 1 = 2, or 3, or 4...or whatever it takes to protect the child's self-esteem

You think that porn should be federally protected per Freedom of Speech, but public profession of Faith should be outlawed.

You applaud Jimmy Carter for talking about Human Rights, but screamed and shouted when President Bush actually did something about it.

You think we should have given Saddam 12 more years, and then 12 more on top of that, if he didn't comply by then

You scream and shout about Christians ramming their beliefs upon you, but you say nothing when Athiests do the same

You think it was unethical for Bush to accept campaign donations from the NRA, but not when Clinton accepted campaign donations from communist China.

You think if somebody disagrees with what you say, they are challenging or denying your rights to Free Speech

You think that poverty is caused by wealth.

You think the ACLU really gives a damn about individual rights

You think the Dixie Chicks and Tim Robbins should say what they want, but O'reilly, Hannity, and Limbaugh should be censored

You object to little old ladies wearing fur, but not bikers wearing leather

You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy

You think Saddam had WMDs when Clinton was in office, but all of the sudden, didn't have them when Bush was in office.

You believe the Bible is racist, sexist, and homophobic, but think the Koran should be required reading

You think a lawyer taking 33% from a settlement for his services is fair, but the Government taking 33% of your paycheck for taxes is "too low"

You think only white people can be racist

You believe that posting the "Ten Commandments" in schools will hurt the children, but promoting homosexuality and paganism "helps" the children

You think the answer to ANY crime no matter how heinous or serious, is counseling.

You only watched "All in The Family", because Meathead made so much sense

You think hunters don't care about the environment, but environmentalists who have never stepped foot outside of their local Starbucks, do

You think it takes a village, instead of parents, to raise a child

You think tolerance of your opinions and acceptance of your opinions are the same thing.

[_bcspace]

The majority of liberals are religious.

I don't get that impression at all unless you consider Atheism to be a religion. That's the direction liberal Protestants have been going and to a small extent, the Catholic church.

[_Morley]

<snip>

Plagiarize, much?

[_EAllusion]

The majority of liberals are religious.

The act of "getting off your knees and actually doing something" isn't only for the irreligious, is it?

No, but the thread here tries to play on a difference between the perceived religiosity of conservatives and liberals. That liberals are religious too contradicts that.

[_Analytics]

The act of "getting off your knees and actually doing something" isn't only for the irreligious, is it?

No, but the thread here tries to play on a difference between the perceived religiosity of conservatives and liberals. That liberals are religious too contradicts that.

I don't read it that way at all. "Getting off your knees" implies religiosity too—the irreligious were never on their knees to begin with. What it’s really implies is which party better emulates the point of James 2:15-18:

If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, "depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled"; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.

The dichotomy isn’t religiosity vs. irreligiosity, but rather between taking the actions necessary to deal with reality or merely talking about it.

What does it have to do with D's and R's? I won't speak for the OP, but to me this reminds me of how it is popular among Republicans to have religious faith that in any given situation, the way to increase government revenue is easy--simply cut taxes!

Democrats seem a little more willing to actually deal with reality and make hard, responsible, grown-up decisions, which includes making hard, reality-based decisions that include the fact that when the government needs more revenue, taxes need to be raised.

[_Droopy]

<snip>

Plagiarize, much?

No, I never claimed to be the author of any of it.