ST. GEORGE — The lifespan of a hamburger is usually measured in minutes: You get the burger, you scarf the burger, the burger is gone forever. A man from St. George, however, claims that he has a 14-year-old McDonald's burger that still looks like new.
The miracle is incorruptibility. Need to wait and see if the Virgin of Guadalupe takes a bite before the Vatican can begin the investigation process. Meanwhile, Larkin Mortuary is interested in the McDonald's formula.
Too late, someone already tipped the Curia off to this story and they are sending Monsignor Sarducci to investigate on behalf of the Beatification Committee. One theory advanced by the opponents in Rome is that McDonalds had unfairly injected all their burger items with Styrofoam, in collaboration with the Huntsman Chemical Corp.
For right now, this burger is now out of bounds for the Virgin of Guadalupe.
- Whenever a poet or preacher, chief or wizard spouts gibberish, the human race spends centuries deciphering the message. - Umberto Eco - To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin. - Cardinal Bellarmine at the trial of Galilei
Conservatives are all rich, so we can afford out-of-season vegies.
Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father [in Heaven] and how familiar his face is to us
- President Ezra Taft Benson
I am so old that I can remember when most of the people promoting race hate were white.
