The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

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_Res Ipsa
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Re: The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

Post by _Res Ipsa »

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a hyena?

Elephant hyena sin theta.
​“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists.”

― Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism, 1951
_Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

Post by _Doctor CamNC4Me »

subgenius wrote:"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"


I literally, and I mean literally "Hoe hoe hoe'd".

Luzzleliddledeedo!

- Doc
In the face of madness, rationality has no power - Xiao Wang, US historiographer, 2287 AD.

Every record...falsified, every book rewritten...every statue...has been renamed or torn down, every date...altered...the process is continuing...minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Ideology is always right.
_Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

Post by _Doctor CamNC4Me »

Anyway.

Here's the most intellectual joke I know:

How many times does a Christian laugh at a joke?

Three times: Once when it's told, once when it's explained, and once when Thews finally gets it.

Yours truly!
Last edited by Guest on Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
In the face of madness, rationality has no power - Xiao Wang, US historiographer, 2287 AD.

Every record...falsified, every book rewritten...every statue...has been renamed or torn down, every date...altered...the process is continuing...minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Ideology is always right.
_honorentheos
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Re: The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

Post by _honorentheos »

Molok wrote:An infinite number of men walk into a bar. The first orders a pint. The second orders half a pint. The third orders a quarter of a pint. The bartender sighs, pours two pints, and says "Here, sort it out amongst yourselves."


Nice.
The world is always full of the sound of waves..but who knows the heart of the sea, a hundred feet down? Who knows it's depth?
~ Eiji Yoshikawa
_ludwigm
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Re: The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

Post by _ludwigm »

A priest, a rabbi and a nun walk into a bar.

The bartender says:
- Sorry, folks, I don't like stupid religious jokes.



Image
- Whenever a poet or preacher, chief or wizard spouts gibberish, the human race spends centuries deciphering the message. - Umberto Eco
- To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin. - Cardinal Bellarmine at the trial of Galilei
_honorentheos
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Re: The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

Post by _honorentheos »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__4JiQI3N6Q

Not particularly intellectual, but ludwigm's post reminded me of it.
The world is always full of the sound of waves..but who knows the heart of the sea, a hundred feet down? Who knows it's depth?
~ Eiji Yoshikawa
_MeDotOrg
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Re: The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

Post by _MeDotOrg »

subgenius wrote:A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid.. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"

"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David," she answered.
"They're all named David?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'David,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'David, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"


subgenius, it's not surprising that this joke is the most intellectual joke you know.
"The great problem of any civilization is how to rejuvenate itself without rebarbarization."
- Will Durant
"We've kept more promises than we've even made"
- Donald Trump
"Of what meaning is the world without mind? The question cannot exist."
- Edwin Land
_bcspace
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Re: The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

Post by _bcspace »

By this we see that as knowledge approaches zero, money goes to infinity, regardless of how much work you do.


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The Degeneracy Of Progressivism.
_MeDotOrg
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Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:29 pm

Re: The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

Post by _MeDotOrg »

A Panda walks into a bar and yells at the bartender "Gimme a bowl of peanuts!"

Startled, the bartender pushes a bowl of peanuts across the bar. The panda picks up the bowl of peanuts, drains its contents into his mouth, pulls out a gun and begins firing it randomly around the bar.

After the patrons have either run screaming from the bar or hit the floor, the Panda begins to walk out.

"Hey!", says the bartender. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a Panda, look it up!" replies the bear as he walks out the door.

Puzzled, the bartender reaches for a dictionary and reads:

"PANDA: A large black and white bear indigenous to the mountains of southern China. Eats shoots and leaves."
"The great problem of any civilization is how to rejuvenate itself without rebarbarization."
- Will Durant
"We've kept more promises than we've even made"
- Donald Trump
"Of what meaning is the world without mind? The question cannot exist."
- Edwin Land
_ludwigm
_Emeritus
Posts: 10158
Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:07 am

Re: The Most Intellectual Joke You Know

Post by _ludwigm »

I hate pandas.

Image

Image

And I hate all panda avatars, by the way...
- Whenever a poet or preacher, chief or wizard spouts gibberish, the human race spends centuries deciphering the message. - Umberto Eco
- To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin. - Cardinal Bellarmine at the trial of Galilei
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