Mormon Discussions and Covenants

[_Uther]

If you say so Lord.

Your word is a pleasure to my eyes, and a light in the dark cave where I reside.

[_cwald]

Cwald knows how to harness the powers of heaven. He asked, and Mormon Jesus responded. Cwald knocked and Jesus opened. Cwald sought and he did find.

Thank you Cwald for invoking Mormon Jesus on our behalves.

Well hell, maybe I should run for prophet next Mormon election.

[_Maxrep]

First time I have viewed this thread. O M G ! ! !

[_cwald]

First time I have viewed this thread. O M G ! ! !

I've mentioned more than once that this thread should pinned.

[_beefcalf]

27. And I did send forth Brigham Young, and he called forth a flock of seagulls,
28. And they ran; yea, they ran so far away,

just. died. laughing.

[_SteelHead]

Cwald,
I'd vote for you.

Cwald for Jesus 2014!!!!!

[_Maxrep]

His Mormon Jesus-ness,

Am I correct in thinking that the statutes of limitations has been reached regarding the 116 pages? Who thieved em'?

One final request. I have a help meet, who is very fair to look upon, but thou knowest I am a natural man. Immaculately Conceived One, please send a flaming sword toting angel to have an audience with me?

[_honorentheos]

When Mormon Jesus ends a revelation with a Selena Gomez lyric, does he cease to be God?

Such questions have occupied theologians for centuries...

(In particular because recognizing a Selena Gomez lyric without Google, even with a pre-teen in one's house, is somewhere between very embarrassing and a mortal sin. Thus putting the theologian in a difficult position.)

[_Mormon Jesus]

Section 161

An extract from Gordon B. Hinckley's history recounting the restoration of the keys of luxury retail near the President of the Corporation's $1.5 million tax exempt condominium, October 1, 2004. The President had been praying about the restoration of authoritative keys by various ancient biblical figures. In response, President Hinckley was visited by an angelic messenger who identified himself as Aurophile Melanogaster, the same that is called the rich young man who refused to sell all that he had and follow the Lord in the New Testament. The angel explained that he was acting under the authority of the Utah Division of Corporations and Commercial Code. The promise was given that in due time Gucci boutiques and Tiffany would follow.

The keys and powers of luxury retail are set forth.

1. Upon you, my fellow executive, in the name of Christ the Messiah, who is also Logos the Verbum and Adonai the Dominus, I vest in you the Keys of Luxury Retail, which holds the keys of multiplying and replenishing dollars upon the earth, and of the prosperity gospel, and of merchant accounts for the remission of payments; and this shall never again be taken from the earth, until the money changers in the temple do offer again a balance sheet in the black unto the Lord in commerce.

[_ludwigm]

Section 161

An extract from Gordon B. Hinckley's history recounting the restoration of the keys of luxury retail near the President of the Corporation's $1.5 million tax exempt condominium, October 1, 2004. The President had been praying about the restoration of authoritative keys by various ancient biblical figures. In response, President Hinckley was visited by an angelic messenger who identified himself as Aurophile Melanogaster, the same that is called the rich young man who refused to sell all that he had and follow the Lord in the New Testament. The angel explained that he was acting under the authority of the Utah Division of Corporations and Commercial Code. The promise was given that in due time Gucci boutiques and Tiffany would follow.

The keys and powers of luxury retail are set forth.

1. Upon you, my fellow executive, in the name of Christ the Messiah, who is also Logos the Verbum and Adonai the Dominus, I vest in you the Keys of Luxury Retail, which holds the keys of multiplying and replenishing dollars upon the earth, and of the prosperity gospel, and of merchant accounts for the remission of payments; and this shall never again be taken from the earth, until the money changers in the temple do offer again a balance sheet in the black unto the Lord in commerce.

Beautiful sentence. Are You Droopy, MJ? (Sorry if I am mocking You...)