The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2013

[_Racer]

What about Uchtdorf's October GC talk? How does it relate to Mopologetics you ask? For years the mopologists have labeled us apostates as offended, or secret sinners. There is no way in hell anyone with a true testimony would leave for any other reason. Despite Uchtdorf's ridiculous plea to "doubt your doubts" we officially had a member of the FP state its normal to doubt, the church and its leaders have made mistakes in the past, and that people who leave the church don't always do so out of offense or desire to sin.

Now lets see a mopologist argue with Uchtdorf.

[_Racer]

Far they flew to me, pa rum pum pum pum
Jensen and Turley, pa rum pum pum pum
They came to rescue me, pa rum pum pum pum
From my apostasy, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

So to listen, pa rum pum pum pum,
I showed up.

Brother Turley, pa rum pum pum pum
Can you explain to me, pa rum pum pum pum
Joseph's polygamy, pa rum pum pum pum
Helen was just 14, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

What is up with this? pa rum pum pum pum,
It seems wrong

Turley answered, pa rum pum pum pum
Said it was complicated, pa rum pum pum pum
Said it was normal then, pa rum pum pum pum
Said let's move on my friends, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

But his answer, pa rum pum pum pum
Did not help.

If these parodies are distracting from the thread, I can delete them or give them their own thread. I just thought in the spirit of the recapping the year in Mopolegetics that some Christmas song parodies would be fun.

Awesome! This is my new favorite holiday classic. I recently saw Jensen eating by himself in a restaurant in the booth across from me. I really wanted to ask him a few questions, but I didn't have the guts and didn't think it would be appropriate to interrupt his meal.

[_Blixa]

Ah, it's officially the holiday season. I can now enjoy my turkeys and desserts. Tim's carols are just the icing on the Yule log!

[_moksha]

:

Finally, just the other day, I got out a list of all of the people who accompanied me on that tour, and I had a friend who is a bishop cross check it against the Church's leadership directory. There were no currently serving bishops on that tour. I suppose Everybody Wang Chung's claim could still somehow be true, but I very much doubt it. It seems far and away most likely that he isn't a currently serving bishop, despite his assertions (he doesn't seem to believe much of anything, and is contemptuous of those who do, often in pretty foul language), and that he didn't go to Israel with me. In other words, if I had to bet, I would bet that he's a fraud.

Clearly Mr. Stakanovite had it wrong. The Apologetic War Powers Act of 1948, explicitly authorized Dr. Peterson to "gather any and all data" that may be relevant to the conduct and defense of a Book of Mormonlands tour to Israel. Dr. Peterson demonstrated great restraint in not cross-referencing "so called bishops" with data available to LDS members serving in the FBI, CIA and Homeland Security. He therefore should not be accused of breaking membership confidentiality protocol since all his actions were covered by this Apologetic War Powers Act.

[_consiglieri]

Actually, you get five stars, Dr. Consiglieri. All the best, and seasons greetings to you, my friend!

You are way too kind, my friend.

I happen to have the Alf special (along with Season Two) on DVD and pulled it out last year to enjoy the Melmackian merriment.

It is an odd program, what with dealing with the terminally ill girl in the hospital on Christmas, and the suicide attempt by Mr. Foley. I am glad they didn't take the easy way out, and that the terminally ill girl remained terminal, with Alf learning more from her than she did from him.

At least Alf was able to help Mr. Foley realize how important he was, even though it didn't stop his grieving over his lost wife.

I think it is because the program dealt honestly with the depression that can be so rampant at Christmas that it was so special. What made it odd was the typical shenanigans that went along with it.

Like "Dr. Shumway" delivering the baby in the elevator.

I think Alf managed to do something important with this Christmas special.

And you, I think, manage to do something important with your Top Ten Happenings list.

Every year.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

[_Tim the Enchanter]

Tim The Enchanter: Your rendition of "The 12 Days of Christmas" is absolutely splendid, and I hope very much that you'll do us the pleasure of a spirited rendition of it at our annual shindig. I understand that Dr. Darth J is a terrific fan of roast partridge--not to mention many turkeys and desserts.

I am deeply honored to receive such an exclusive invitation and will be there with, as they say, bells on and will do my level best not to offend the ears of those in attendance. My only regret is that I am unable to clone myself and enjoy the evening twice as much.

[_Tim the Enchanter]

Thanks for the positive response to my Christmas music parodies! Here is another.

O DCP
(sung to the tune of O Christmas Tree)

O DCP, O DCP
Thy ways are so unchanging
O DCP, O DCP
Thy ways are so unchanging
I recommend that you acquaint
Yourself with the word restraint
O DCP, O DCP
Thy ways are so unchanging

O DCP, O DCP
Thy ways are quite enflaming
O DCP, O DCP
Thy ways are quite enflaming
Whether photos of lynching
Or having bishops go snooping
O DCP, O DCP
Thy ways are quite enflaming

O DCP, O DCP
Thy ways need rearranging
O DCP, O DCP
Thy ways need rearranging
If you'd think twice 'fore hitting send
You would not need to make amends
O DCP, O DCP
Thy ways need rearranging

O DCP, O DCP
Forgive my gentle teasing
O DCP, O DCP
Forgive my gentle teasing
I seek to build and not tear down
This is not meant as a putdown
O DCP, O DCP
Forgive my gentle teasing

[_Tim the Enchanter]

Do you hear what I hear? Click the link to sing along.

Said the doubter to the 'pologist
Do you see what I see?
This book by Gilbert J. Hunt
Do you see what I see?haha
Late War! Late War!
Between the Brits and Yanks
It was published in 1816
Right in Joseph's backyard

Said the doubter to the 'pologist
Do you hear what I hear?
It's is full of Hebraisms
Do you hear what I hear?
The sound! the sound!
Of deflating balloons
As decades of arguments
Are undermined with this book

Said the 'pologist to the doubter
Do you know what I know?
I have an ace up my sleeve
Do you know what I know?
N-grams! n-grams!
Are not the smoking gun
There are too few locutions
That appear in both of the books

Said the doubter to the 'pologist
Listen to what I say
It's more than just matching n-grams
Listen to what I say
The feel! the vibe!
And parallels abound
Whether consciously or not
Influence makes the most sense
Influence makes the most sense

[_Tator]

Tim you've got quite a talent........thanx

[_palerobber]

thanks ol' Scratch, your tireless efforts are appreciated.