Dreamsongs: A Collection of Lyrical Ballads

[Guest]

And the Lord God said, behold, the man is become as one of us,
to know good and evil.” -Genesis (circa 1400 B.C.E.)

“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee:
and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee,
and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” -Jeremiah(circa 600 B.C.E.)

“And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not,
I will lead them in paths that they have not known...” -Isaiah (circa 700 B.C.E.)

"I slept with faith and found a corpse in my arms on awakening;
I drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning."
— Aleister Crowley, “The Book of Lies” (circa 1913 A.D.)



i. journey

I was a bright star
in the morning sky,
full of child-like wonder
hidden well
behind my cold blue eyes.

So I took it to wander
far from that estate,
banished forever:
knowing there could be
no escape ...

I was a bright star
long before my fall,
asking the questions
hidden well
deep inside of us all.

So I took it to wander
far from that place,
banished forever:
knowing there could be
no escape

from the journey
I was compelled to take.

[_grindael]

ii. portal

A day can sometimes last
a thousand years,
measured in the tracks
of human tears.

When you’re born into a world
and left to die,
quicker than the time
between a breath and a sigh.
A journey that takes us
so far from our home,
compelled now to come
and be left all alone.

Though we’re older than
the half-life of plutonium,
We’ve forgotten what’s behind us
and we’re unsure of what is to come.
Passing far from our beginnings
another part of a journey
that is never ending ...

A day can sometimes last
a million years,
measured in the well-spring
of all our fears.

When you’re born into a world
and left there to die,
with so little time to
find out the reasons why.

Taking a voyage
so far from our home,
born into a world
to be left all alone.

Though we’re older than
the half-life of plutonium
we’ve forgotten what’s behind us
and we’re unsure of what is to come.
Passing far from our beginnings,
another part of a journey
that is never ending ...

Leaving the past
once more behind us,
as we turn to face
what is to come.

But in all the passing years
the dawning of one day
can change you forever when
the innocence is finally
taken away.

[_grindael]

iii. on the inside

It takes no courage
to close your heart,
and walk the ledge
when you’re falling apart.

If you want to take chances
and play the game,
make circumstances
all or part of the blame
for the reasons to hide
all of your fears on the inside.

It takes no daring
to close your mind,
give up on caring
when you come to find

you can take no more chances,
play no more games –
and take circumstances
that will never really change
the reasons that you hide
all of your fears on the inside.

But you’ve been through it all before
standing in the light as someone slams the door.
Leaving you to journey in the dark,
passing through the night
as they pass through your heart.

It takes no hero
to close your eyes,
when you just don’t know how
to tell them good bye.

Taking too many chances
playing too many games,
still the hopeless romantic
who will never really change
the reasons that you hide
all of your fears on the inside.

But you’ve been through it all before,
standing in the light as someone slams the door.
Leaving you to journey in the dark,
passing through the night
as they pass through your heart.

Leaving you alone
to journey in the dark.
Leaving you alone
to pass through their hearts.
Leaving you alone
to stumble in the dark.
Leaving you alone
in the shadows of their hearts.
Leaving you alone ...

[_grindael]

iv. destiny

Destiny is
calling all the time.
Tragedy is
lurking in my smile.
I was born
with trouble on my hands.
You will learn
what lives inside this man.

Carefully I
play the final game.
I am free
to leave you all the pain.
I am torn
by what you can’t disguise.
You will learn
I’m all that you despise.

I’m a dangerous element,
you know I wont deny it –
for I am the magik
because I dare to try it.
Now something calls me
and I cannot tell you why –
but I feel the magik
and I’ve got to give it a try.

Destiny is
all that I can hear.
Tragedy can’t
make these things more clear.
I was born
to make this time worthwhile.
You’ll never know
how much I’ll miss your smile.

I’m a fatal ingredient
you know I won’t deny it –
For I am the magik
because I dare to try it.
Now something calls me
and I cannot tell you why
but I feel the magik
and I’ve got to give it a try.

Destiny is
calling all the time.
Tragedy is
lurking in my smile.
I was born
with trouble on my hands....

[Guest]

i. elusions (i)

Is there something inside
that you cannot explain?
The solution eluding you
again and again?

Is there something outside
that you cannot forget?
The feelings eluding you
that aren’t yet dead?

At least not yet ...

ii. mother dear

Oh mother dear
what has daddy done to you?
I’m sure it’s all a game!

Oh daddy dear
what’s that on your hands?
Did you have to hit her again?

Let’s have another beer!
It runs in the family (so I hear).
One more bottle
will make things right,
then I can shut
her out again tonight!

Oh someone please get me out of here!

<Where’s that damned beer??!>

Oh mother dear
what has daddy done to me?
I know it’s not a game.

Oh daddy dear
what’s that on your hands?
Did you have to hit me again?

Oh mommy dear
I’m not sure you know at all
just how to explain
a little boy’s pain.

iii. the room upstairs

It’s time for bed
turn off the t.v.
For the last time I said
you better listen to me!

It’s time for bed!

So I climb the stairs
to the top of the hall,
where the darkness waits
like a tangible wall.

As I climb into bed
and try to shut out the dark,
out of my head
out of my heart:
To get him out of my mind.
But not this time ...

He’s in my mind!

That voice in the night
tellin’ me how to feel all right.
Deep inside and out of sight.
Gonna dream that dream tonight.

What’s that shadow on the wall?
(Only trees in the wind).
Who’s that standing in the hall?
(Only me, my friend).

Is he real or just a breeze?
Maybe some kind of disease ...

That voice in the night
tellin’ me how to feel all right.
Deep inside and out of sight.
Gonna dream that dream tonight

He’s gonna make me feel all right.
I’m gonna be all right
at least for tonight,
I’m gonna be all right.

So I climb the stairs
to the top of the hall.
And in the room upstairs
I begin my fall ...

iv. on the fringe

Bless me father
for I have sinned.
It’s that same old thing
again and again.

Please don’t put me
in no Catholic School.
St. Anne’s is for
those other fools.

Help me father
for I’ve been bad.
But where’s my mom
and where’s my dad?

She’s home watching the other kids
and he’s out there on another binge,
leaving me here on the fringe ...

v. toy soldiers

Toy soldiers
in the backyard,
once took me
so far, so far.

But the nights
still haunt me
like the voices
in my dreams.
Childhood grips
my memories.

Toy soldiers
now in attic rooms.
Memories just
too deep to lose.

But the nights
still haunt me
like the broken fire
of my dreams,
and I still don’t
know what it means.

Toy soldiers
in the backyard.
Once took me
so far, so far.

[_grindael]

i. symptoms

There are wounds that
never need an explanation,
bourne in time till
dawn comes to illumination.
Naked feelings given over
to blanket ridicule;
playing cat and mouse
with some poor dreaming fool.

And those scattered feelings
give me no precedent
to acknowledge what’s
inside my head.
Reality swears
I didn’t hallucinate!
Can anybody love me
or is it a bit too late?

Do you suppose there
is any consolation in a world
that drives us to so much isolation?
I wonder if I’m dreaming
what I can’t understand,
or is it just a symptom
of what you think I am?

In and out
the mind slips
and cannot focus.
Given nothing
but your
trinkets and tokens,
left with just
the promises
you’ve broken.
Given nothing
but the empty words
you’ve spoken.
Leaving symptoms ...

There are times the mind
holds in fascination,
left in doubt when
dawn comes to realization.
Shattered meanings to those
who really give a damn.
Playing cat and mouse
with another foolish man.

And these scattered feelings
give me no precedent
to acknowledge what’s
inside my head.
Reality swears
I didn’t hallucinate!
Can anybody love you
or is it just a bit too late?

Do you suppose there is
any consolation in a world
that gives us no consideration?
I wonder if I’m dreaming
what I can’t understand,
or is it just a symptom
of what you think I am?

[_grindael]

ii. shades of grey

There’s a lot of crap goin’ on in my life
cause nothing is ever black and white.
Just shades of grey everywhere:
when you least expect it, they appear.
To weaken the spirit day after day
and if you try to break through you’ll be too late.
Still I don’t know why they have to be there,
I want to have faith but nobody cares.

These subtle shades can get in the way
and they aren’t concerned with what you say,
you just cannot make them go away
cause they’re always around day after day:
you can’t get away from those shades of grey.

There’s a lot of crap goin’ on in my head,
searchin’ for something better left dead.
Like a ticking bomb with a short fuse,
try to beat the odds and you’re gonna lose.
Till you become enamored with the pain,
a victim of traps again and again.
Of promises broken and running scared:
you want to have faith but no one cares.

Try movin’ through these shades of grey,
the lines on your face start showin’ your age.
Life becomes a game you don’t want to play
and you just cannot make them go away:
you can’t get away from those shades of grey.

I see this crap happen and I can’t get away,
the whole world so blinded by shades of grey.
Though I try to show them, they don’t see –
always trying to second guess me.
As if they know what I’m feeling inside,
till there’s nothin’ left that hasn’t died.
Nothing to give and nothing to share
you want to believe, but no one cares.

Still tangled in these shades of grey
knowin’ that I’m never gonna stay.
When life becomes a game I don’t want to play
surrounded completely, they won’t go away,
you can’t get away from those shades of grey.

[_grindael]

iii. the love inside

There is no sorrow
there are no tears,
that have not haunted me
these many years.
If there is hope within me
I don’t know where,
for it does not help me
lose these nightmares.
The shadows linger
they don’t disappear,
and I’m left here standing
with just the tears.

The love inside
can take you there.
To a place of wonder
of deep despair.
The street of dreams
can lead you anywhere.
The love inside
can take you there.

Love has it’s reasons
or so they say,
it can last forever
or just a day.
But can you tell me
just how to know,
if I should keep holding on
or let it go?

iv. elusions (ii)

Emotions can be buried for years –
hiding behind our doubts and fears,
waiting to step out into the unknown
the only alternative to being alone.
But exposed to attention we often find
the lights too strong and makes us blind.

So we hide behind our secrets
and close them up inside of our heads,
far away from all inspection
and the fear of rejection.
Hiding away behind our scars,
locking them up inside of our hearts
far away from all inspection
and the fear of rejection.

It’s not a question of guilt
for people will do as they will.
It’s not a question of blame
for it’s too easy to give that a name.
It’s more a question of doubt,
not knowing what they are all about
and if there’s a reason for the pain
it’s easy to say it was all a game.
But that’s a high price to have to pay
to those who have only turned away.

Emotions can tear the soul apart –
reality can wound the toughest heart.
Making it hard to draw conclusions
and easy to become disillusioned.
When exposed to attention we often find
that the effort wasn’t worth the time.

So we hide behind our secrets
and close them up inside our heads,
far away from all inspection
and the fear of rejection.
Hiding away behind our scars,
locking them up inside of our hearts
far away from all inspection
and the fear of rejection.

It’s not a question of guilt
for people will do what they will.
It’s not a question of blame
for it’s too easy to give that a name.
It’s more a question of regret –
not knowing if it’s over yet.
And if there’s a reason for the pain
it’s easy to say it was all a game.
But that’s a high price to have to pay
to those who will only turn away.

Leaving no solutions,
only elusions, only elusions ...
Leaving no resolution,
only elusions, only elusions ...

[_grindael]

i. mass hysteria

Holy communion, what an illusion!
A thousand years of voodoo.
Leftover history of a world
on the brink of insanity.
And what do they do?
Well, I’ll tell you!

They indoctrinate the youth
with anything but the truth.
Such marvelous mysteries
unreachable by such as you and me!

It’s mass hysteria
prepackaged and sold,
God’s own words
(at least that’s what we’re told).
It’s mass hysteria
on the local T.V.
brought to you and me
by the smooth-talking clergy.

And what do they do
behind their closed doors?
Why they traffic with
all the dealers and whores.
Locked up inside
their mansions of stone,
the T.V. version of the happy home.

Holy religion, cornerstone of society!
Practiced in such false sobriety.
Leftover history of a world
on the brink of insanity.
And what do they do?
Well, I’ll tell you ...

They indoctrinate the youth
with anything but the truth.
Such marvelous mysteries
unreachable by such as you and me.
unless you’ve got the money.

It’s mass hysteria
prepackaged and sold.
Gods own words
(At least that’s what we’re told).
Just Mass Hysteria
and superstar clergy,
completely on the up and up -
just read the disclaimer
right on the bottom of the T.V!

Oh no, you’ll have to excuse me.
I just can’t live with the absurdity...

[_grindael]

ii. searching

Where is the innocence?
I’m afraid it just came and went.
Where are a young boy’s dreams:
Locked inside with those silent screams?
What are they telling me:
that I am someone I cannot be?

Where is my heart and soul?
Are they to be the price of growin’ old?
Where is the truth I saw:
Locked inside with the letter of the law?
What are they telling me:
That I am someone I cannot be?

Searching for the truth,
finding no answers in solitude.
Caught up in a mystery,
waiting for something to set me free.
Searching for peace of mind,
could it be something I left behind?
Caught up in a mystery,
waiting for something to set me free.

And I’m still searching...

Where go the promises?
Lost with all of my innocence.
Where is security
without the promise of destiny?
What are they telling me:
that I am something I cannot be?

Where go the lonely ones:
When they lost what they should have won?
What happens to the truth
when you’ve got nothing left to lose?
What are they telling me:
That I am someone I cannot be?

Searching for the truth,
finding no answers in solitude.
Caught up in a mystery,
waiting for something to set me free.
Searching for peace of mind,
could it be something I left behind?
Caught up in a mystery,
waiting for time to set me free.

And I’m still searching ...