Calling Thayne, Can I Help With NOM?

[_Tator]

I'm with Doctor on this. Great story Lemmie and you are a great mom.

[_Lemmie]

Lemmie,

Wow. What a story. You changed everything for the better. I'm sure the challenges were incredibly difficult, but it looks like you literally altered the reality your kids would've had to live for something limitless. Good job.

- Doc

thank you, Doc! I appreciate your comments very, very much.

[_Lemmie]

I'm with Doctor on this. Great story Lemmie and you are a great mom.

Thank you Tator! much appreciated.

[_grindael]

For Lemmie,

v. a road less traveled

Pass the guardians of the way
A road less traveled some will take,
Face the night, look to the stars
Points of light, so near and far.

Just where are you going to
And what is it that you do?
We all make choices
based on our point of view.

A dream within a dream
a play within a play,
moving through the darkness
to reach the light of day.

The summit of our knowledge
gathered one moment at a time,
walking along that narrow ledge:
driven by all we leave behind.

Chasms on the right and the left
into which some freely fall,
taken down by a wrong step
to wander lost inside those walls.

Just where has it taken you
And what is it you can do?
Lost dreams, born of choices:
another path, another view.

A dream within a dream
a play within a play,
moving through the darkness
to reach the light of day.

The shedding of that knowledge
stripped one moment at a time,
leaving now that narrow ledge
to give up some of the ties that bind.

A dream within a dream
a play within a play,
moving through the darkness
to reach the light of day.

[_Jersey Girl]

Lemmie, how long were you married? Was the divorce mainly due to church differences?

I'm curiously interested in the divorce stories. We started marriage therapy recently and I'm finding the process to be slow, confusing, and have determined there isn't a guaranteed outcome. I'm ok with the ambiguity, but the emotions of humanity make it exhausting. All of this turmoil because I stopped believing Joseph Smith was a prophet. Weird, eh?

separated after 7 years, not so much church differences as the specific behavior that came out of those differences. the beginning of the end occurred when we were visiting my parents, and my spouse went to high priest meeting with my father, where he described himself as a rocket moving through space with a goal, and me as the satellite going around him. He then asked, what do you do when you can't control your satellite(!!!!!!!) and it is taking off on its own in directions that don't support the path of your rocket?

My father told this to my mother, and my mother told me, and neither of them seemed to have a problem with it. That shook me to my core, and as I looked at my mother's life, an exceptionally intelligent and talented woman who gave up everything because she accepted the church's position that she was the wrong gender to succeed in those areas, I was horrified to realize I was on that same path. Not only that, but I now had a baby daughter who would likely follow the same path if I did not make a change.

Fast forward many decades, to a point after an incredibly painful and financially devastating divorce, years of shunning by my family due to leaving the church, and many, many, MANY years of therapy to undo the brainwashing. I now have a daughter in Vet school who would laugh if a Mormon told her what is expected of women, and two teenage sons who've grown up with a mother who worked their entire lifetimes and is a Professor at an Ivy League school. My boys are interested in cute girls, BUT!! they also only like girls who are smart and have ambition; they also assume these girls are equals, in every possible way. Why? Because that's what they are used to, and that's what they see as completely normal.

I've completely changed the path of these three children who are the end result of multiple generations of Mormons, and I consider that to be the single greatest accomplishment of my life.

Speaking as someone who has had the unexpected (and unprepared for) opportunity to see a loved one rise up out of the ashes, yours is one of the best "rising up" stories I've heard. You have not only changed your children's future, but through your work, you give others the opportunity to change theirs via education.

You are a phoenix, Lemmie!

:-)

[_Lemmie]

For Lemmie,

v. a road less traveled

Pass the guardians of the way
A road less traveled some will take,
Face the night, look to the stars
Points of light, so near and far.

Just where are you going to
And what is it that you do?
We all make choices
based on our point of view.

A dream within a dream
a play within a play,
moving through the darkness
to reach the light of day.

The summit of our knowledge
gathered one moment at a time,
walking along that narrow ledge:
driven by all we leave behind.

Chasms on the right and the left
into which some freely fall,
taken down by a wrong step
to wander lost inside those walls.

Just where has it taken you
And what is it you can do?
Lost dreams, born of choices:
another path, another view.

A dream within a dream
a play within a play,
moving through the darkness
to reach the light of day.

The shedding of that knowledge
stripped one moment at a time,
leaving now that narrow ledge
to give up some of the ties that bind.

A dream within a dream
a play within a play,
moving through the darkness
to reach the light of day.

your words brought tears to my eyes, grindael, I don't know how to convey how meaningful it is for me to read these verses! You have given me a great treasure. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[_Ceeboo]

Hey Hagoth!

That's not the point of resurrecting NOM at all, at least as far as I'm concerned. I would just like to have my community back. A lot of my friends ended up here but a lot did not, probably some of the ones who need NOM the most. Also, I think NOM is a better place for people in faith transition. They are better able to find support there and express their concerns and issues without being pounced on by over eager debaters. NOM is more about how to live with still-believing loved ones after your beliefs have changed, for whatever reason. It's also a place to blow off a little steam when those people aren't so sympathetic to those of us who feel the need to graduate from our former mindset in one way or another.

Great post!

As a never-Mo, I haven't a clue what it's like being a NOM (Or a TBM - or an exMormon for that matter) so when people like you share a part of your journey with me/us (from your personal perspective) it is tremendously valuable, in my opinion. Thanks!

for what it's worth, there have only been a handful of posts in this thread from a few of those who have lost their playground recently and I have really enjoyed reading those contributions.

I hope those who have joined us will decide to stay and I hope that many more are on their way.

Peace,
Ceeboo

[_grindael]

Thank you.

You're welcome. That's for you, dedicated to "Lemmie" in my Book of Dreamsongs.

[_Lemmie]

Speaking as someone who has had the unexpected (and unprepared for) opportunity to see a loved one rise up out of the ashes, yours is one of the best "rising up" stories I've heard. You have not only changed your children's future, but through your work, you give others the opportunity to change theirs via education.

You are a phoenix, Lemmie!

:-)

Thank you, Jersey Girl! a phoenix, huh? I like that!

[_Lemmie]

Thank you.

You're welcome. That's for you, dedicated to "Lemmie" in my Book of Dreamsongs.

Thank you, grindael, I am honored. You are too kind!