Ceeboo wrote:As a never-Mo, I haven't a clue what it's like being a NOM (Or a TBM - or an exMormon for that matter) so when people like you share a part of your journey with me/us (from your personal perspective) it is tremendously valuable, in my opinion. Peace, Ceeboo
Think of it as Cardinal Burke (TBM equivalent) hanging out at the River City Pool Hall and perhaps reading Chaucer, Rabelais, and Balzac!
alas wrote:As far as sticking around here, I think I am past any desire to debate church doctrine or history. I was still on NOM too keep me from going too far into anger at the church, because me being angry at the church doesn't help my marriage. Also to support others and get support myself if I still found myself needing to vent about how the church has hurt my daughter and her *wife*. Or just reading from our gay members often was all the support I needed. After looking over the board here, I honestly don't think I have enough interest. The only reason I found to stick around here was for the rumors and news about what the church is up to and the latest things that have been leaked. But, even with the leaked videos I wasn't interested enough to go watch them, even if I had the time which right now I don't. I think I am just about through with my issues with the church, learned all I care to about the history, learned what my own beliefs and feeling are, and if not NOM, then I think I will just move on from the church. Most of my closest NOM friends already decided to "graduate" to being post Mormon and maybe it is time for me to decide to do the same.
As for mentalgymnastics and his attitude that NOMs might be too sensitive for the debate here, I am not too sensitive, just not interested.
But if NOM can be fixed or start a new forum, then I would go back there.
I'm in a similar situation. My DH is also out as is our DD. However, our extended family is not and we need to stay positive. I appreciated NOM's supportive approach vs the scorched earth approach on other boards. I also found it helpful to keep track of what is going on at church so I'm not caught off-guard by family members. Like Alas, I'm not interested in debates - just helping each other figure out how to make it work with TBM family. I've lost all interest in the theology and history.
As we all have different circumstances and are in different places in our faith journey, I think it makes sense that there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to forums. For me, NOM fit my approach and my needs. I hope there is some way to find it a new home.
It sounds like a new board would have a following.
I'd be interested in doing something along the lines of:
Emotional support Intellectual discussion Effective communication - a forum to learn and discuss healthy and better ways to communicate with spouses, families, and bar tenders. Parenting support What's next, new, and interesting - a forum to discuss interests that replace the time suck of Mormonism. Gatherings
NOMIsh by nature but with the intent of graduating posters in under 3,000 posts!
I'll hit up Corsair and see if he's up to becoming an advisor or at a minimum help set up chairs. I don't think he's interested in becoming a prophet, seer, or administrator.
I'm fairly certain that if Thayne intended NOM to return he would have handled things differently with respect to communication. I think NOM is done and over with. Unfortunate, as I think it served a niche that this forum and reddit do not.
Personally, my interest in Mormonism in general is waning, probably because I have reached a point where my wife and I respect each other despite our differences. I'm only interested in discussing the big news items anymore, and even then I would probably just do it on Facebook.
I'm telling you, the Celestial Forum would work for NOM/support. There is no need to start a new NOM or even a new forum on this board. Most folks are extremely polite and supportive in the Celestial Forum, which is why most conversations happen down here where there is a bit more freedom and open discussion on the issues.
Give it a chance.
"Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn’t participate enthusiastically." - Robert Kirby
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. -- Henry Lawson
cwald wrote:I'm telling you, the Celestial Forum would work for NOM/support. There is no need to start a new NOM or even a new forum on this board. Most folks are extremely polite and supportive in the Celestial Forum, which is why most conversations happen down here where there is a bit more freedom and open discussion on the issues.
Give it a chance.
I agree! It's been my experience that the Celestial is the place where threads go to die. It's underutilized and NOMs could make it their own. It's a great fit. Maybe a name change (we've just done that, already) and maybe some tweaks to the rules would make it perfect.
Perhaps some wise and judicious former NOM member would volunteer to moderate and keep it the way NOMs like it.
This, or any other post that I have made or will make in the future, is strictly my own opinion and consequently of little or no value.
"Faith is believing something you know ain't true" Twain.
Red Ryder and I did have lunch today. I would be willing to provide basic administration for a new site. I don't know how desirable a new site would be and I am reasonably persuaded for using the Celestial Forum for NOM support. I'm not sure that I am moderator material, however. In any case I don't want to be the guy who barges in demanding changes to a website like MormonDiscussions that has been functioning just fine without me for a decade.
I could pick up a domain name like newordermormon.net (currently available) or newordermormon.org (not yet available) and point it towards whatever resources make sense. It would not be difficult to put up a new phpBB site but I'm still wanting to make sure that their is a real and ongoing need for a discussion board for NOMs, middle-way Mormons, and mixed faith marriages.
Dr. Shades is a better arbiter of using the Celestial forum or setting up a "Quorum of the NOMs" for the refugees.
The area where I see a need which is lacking across the Mormon internet spectrum today is the process of transition itself. Where do Mormons on their way out go to learn the basic essentials such as having difficult conversations, setting boundaries, navigating the stages of grief, unwinding the thinking errors, shopping for normal underwear, and navigating to a better post Mormon life? All without having to read through 100's of posts, exit stories, and angry rants across ten different websites with different functions?
Alas' comments about "graduating" have got me thinking about what that means in terms of the process. It's extremely personal and no way is the right or wrong way. What is needed is a well thought out and easy to follow path to a healthy better mental existence. Hundreds of thousands of former Mormons have blazed this path, yet often times it feels like newly disaffected Mormons are going it alone or stumbling through the dark feeling their way around looking for the exit.
Is there a need for this type of resource, and if so does it currently exist? Have attempts at this type of systematic approach been made before and failed? I can think of the attempts by John Larsen to set up counseling sessions and other similar events, but I'm thinking in terms of a broader based online resource. Where anyone can go to get systematic instructional guidance. An outline or path to follow to becoming an apathetic indifferent former Mormon. Where the best practices of leaving, moving on, and graduating are documented and become the end result.
Or perhaps taking up golf is a better use of time.
Red Ryder wrote:The area where I see a need which is lacking across the Mormon internet spectrum today is the process of transition itself. Where do Mormons on their way out go to learn the basic essentials such as having difficult conversations, setting boundaries, navigating the stages of grief, unwinding the thinking errors, shopping for normal underwear, and navigating to a better post Mormon life? All without having to read through 100's of posts, exit stories, and angry rants across ten different websites with different functions?
Alas' comments about "graduating" have got me thinking about what that means in terms of the process. It's extremely personal and no way is the right or wrong way. What is needed is a well thought out and easy to follow path to a healthy better mental existence. Hundreds of thousands of former Mormons have blazed this path, yet often times it feels like newly disaffected Mormons are going it alone or stumbling through the dark feeling their way around looking for the exit.
Is there a need for this type of resource, and if so does it currently exist? Have attempts at this type of systematic approach been made before and failed? I can think of the attempts by John Larsen to set up counseling sessions and other similar events, but I'm thinking in terms of a broader based online resource. Where anyone can go to get systematic instructional guidance. An outline or path to follow to becoming an apathetic indifferent former Mormon. Where the best practices of leaving, moving on, and graduating are documented and become the end result.
Or perhaps taking up golf is a better use of time.
Oh, man. You're not kidding. I was (like many others) a good 15 years behind the power curve on social skills. Learning how to be relatively normal after emerging from behind the Mormon curtain was very, very difficult.
- Doc
In the face of madness, rationality has no power - Xiao Wang, US historiographer, 2287 AD.
Every record...falsified, every book rewritten...every statue...has been renamed or torn down, every date...altered...the process is continuing...minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Ideology is always right.