Alpha & Omega: A Book of Mormon anachronistic blooper

[_Shulem]

The extra mIle thing is more than just the use of the world mile, it is the use of a custom by which non citizens could be compelled to bear burdens for the roman army. It made sense to the people hearing the sermon on the mount. To the Nephites the idiom would have been absolutely meaningless. Without any cultural context.

O Alpha and Omega!

I'm desperate!

I'll walk a mile for a camel cigarette!

[_zerinus]

Your error has already been demonstrated. Nothing more to add.

Elohim and Mary,
Sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
First comes love. Then comes incest.
Then comes a baby in the baby carriage,
Sucking his thumb,
Wetting his pants,
Doing the hula, hula dance!

Stupidity, and making a right idiot of yourself is not such a great virtue you think it is. You are not going yourself any favors, I can assure you.

[_Shulem]

Joseph Smith loved to impersonate Jesus Christ and pretend that Christ was speaking directly through him as we see in so many sections of the D&C. Smith particularly loved to impersonate the Alpha & Omega acting as if he was speaking and writing for Jesus, as if he was in the very room with pen in hand.

Let's consider Section 81, a mere seven verses in which the Alpha & Omega mentioned in the final verse is supposed to be speaking in the first person for all 7 verses. Something peculiar, however, seems to be happening in verse 4 in which the first person speaking is weakened when he refers to himself as "him". Rather than saying something along the lines of "promote my glory" we have what appears to be the faker Joseph Smith speaking in the first person in which he is promoting the narrative. Seems like a tiny slip to me.

And in doing these things thou wilt do the greatest good unto thy fellow beings, and wilt promote the glory of HIM who is your Lord.

I think this shift in first person language may be an indicator that Joseph Smith was feigning his claim to be speaking directly for God as he allowed his own self to interject within the flow of the first person who is supposed speaking directly during the whole revelation.

Perhaps I'm just being picky or perhaps it's really a red flag indicator. Comments?

[_fetchface]

And in doing these things thou wilt do the greatest good unto thy fellow beings, and wilt promote the glory of HIM who is your Lord.

I think this shift in first person language may be an indicator that Joseph Smith was feigning his claim to be speaking directly for God as he allowed his own self to interject within the flow of the first person who is supposed speaking directly during the whole revelation.

Perhaps I'm just being picky or perhaps it's really a red flag indicator. Comments?

There also seems to be a sudden change from Jacobean second person singular to second person plural (thy to your). Either Alpha and Omega can't fully wrap his head around Jacobean English, or maybe a second person suddenly walked into the room in the middle of that sentence and Alpha and Omega started addressing the two people at once.

Otherwise, why isn't it "thy Lord" instead of "your Lord?"

[_Shulem]

There also seems to be a sudden change from Jacobean second person singular to second person plural (thy to your). Either Alpha and Omega can't fully wrap his head around Jacobean English, or maybe a second person suddenly walked into the room in the middle of that sentence and Alpha and Omega started addressing the two people at once.

Otherwise, why isn't it "thy Lord" instead of "your Lord?"

That's an excellent observation! Thank you for pointing that out. It seems that the D&C Alpha & Omega speaking through Joseph Smith is inconsistent and can be safely disregarded as a fraud.

The same goes for the Nephite Alpha & Omega who automatically assumed the Nephites used the Roman mile to measure their distances.

Stupid Mormons.

[_Shulem]

D&C Alpha & Omega is at it again as Smith fakes it and slips again with 10 verses of attempting to impersonate a PERFECT being who is supposed to be the Word of God -- one who can deliver a perfect speech.

Behold, thus saith the Lord, even Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, even HE who was crucified for the sins of the world—

You'd think using the pronoun "I" rather than "he" would sound more authoritative and genuine, for example:

1. "even I who was crucified for the sins of the world"

Verses 2-10 use modern English other than a single hallowed word found in verse 9 whereby D&C Jesus tripped up and showed his fake hand:

9 And after you have done journeying, behold, I say unto you, seek YE a living like unto men, until I prepare a place for you.

What a faker!

[_Shulem]

Stupidity, and making a right idiot of yourself is not such a great virtue you think it is. You are not going yourself any favors, I can assure you.

I can assure you that the favors I do for myself provide me fun and humor and show just how much of an idiot Joseph Smith was.

[_fetchface]

Joseph's use of Jacobean English and its implications are fascinating to me. I did a deep dive into this once. The following is what I found:

In proper Jacobean English, thou, thee, thine etc. are informal singular second person. This is the way you talk to your friend or a subordinate. It seems strange to us now but if you don't believe me, just read a Shakespeare play where a king talks to one of his subjects. The king will address his subject as "thou" and the subject will address the king as "you." "You" and "your" are formal second person pronouns. When you are speaking to a group, you always use the formal second person. The formality is kind of inverted from how we use these today.

(As an aside: I had read somewhere that the King James Bible translation committee purposely used "thou, thee, thine" in conversations between men and God because they felt that the source material implied very informal modes of address between God and man both directions. They wanted to show that man and God were conversing as friends, not as Private to General. The modern LDS church inverts this with its insistence on very formal address to God for "reverence" or whatever their rationale is.)

As a non-native speaker of Jacobean English, Joseph Smith doesn't always stay consistent in his mode of address in his writings. You can catch him going from ye/you/your to thee/thou/thine in the same sentence or thought a few times in the Book of Mormon (the apologetics for this are funny to read) and a bunch of times in the D&C. These are mistakes that any idiot who was raised in the 1600s in England would not have made, but they are exactly what you would expect if a guy in the 1800s were attempting to mimic archaic speech that he didn't normally use. It's amusing that Joseph is placing these simple mistakes into the mouth of Almighty God.

[_Shulem]

As a non-native speaker of Jacobean English, Joseph Smith doesn't always stay consistent in his mode of address in his writings. You can catch him going from ye/you/your to thee/thou/thine in the same sentence or thought a few times in the Book of Mormon (the apologetics for this are funny to read) and a bunch of times in the D&C. These are mistakes that any idiot who was raised in the 1600s in England would not have made, but they are exactly what you would expect if a guy in the 1800s were attempting to mimic archaic speech that he didn't normally use. It's amusing that Joseph is placing these simple mistakes into the mouth of Almighty God.

Wow, fetchface, thank you for this, x100!

I've always known there were inconsistencies with the hallowed language used throughout Mormon scripture. Joseph Smith has represented his god very poorly in attempting to impersonate him. It's rather very amusing. It just goes to show that Joseph Smith and his god don't know what they are talking about.

The plagiarism is simply off the charts.

[_fetchface]

You're welcome.

I also find it amusing that a major focus of Mormonism is restoring practices of the "primitive church", yet they tell you to be super stuffy and formal when you pray. According to primitive practice, we should be as informal as possible when we address God. If I had been taught to pray that way, maybe prayer wouldn't annoy me so much today.

Nowadays if I want to talk to myself, I just do it. No need to address it to someone who doesn't talk to me back whether through formal or informal language. I prefer to talk to real people who really answer back.