Denumonte
Here's what finally happened. A couple of weeks before I left for my trip to Jersey, my heart softened a bit and I let her know I was coming. I gave her the dates. I'm not going to quote here, but if something doesn't make sense, feel free to ask a question about it. See if you can follow this little bouncing ball if this doesn't bore you to death.
1. Just before I left, she claimed that she didn't have the dates. (False, they were on her Facebook messages and she had actually replied to them)
2. She said she was available any time, always there, etc. I tell her that I have a long list of people to visit and some planned activities, but I will have some days where I'm free to go visiting others.
2. When I was there, I sent a text via cell to the effect, "How about meet up for coffee early afternoon Friday?"
3. Sends me a Facebook message: I can't meet until after 4:30 pm because of such and such and such and such. Basically she was home the whole time but couldn't leave. (At no point did she invite me to come over).
4. Claimed that she never got a text message on her cell (could I just call one of the phones and tell her the message)--when she just ANSWERED the text message on Facebook.
5. I say that's too late, I have something at 6. Well, hey, see what your Sun and Monday looks like and maybe I can switch something around.
Stop right there. At that point, I was waiting on 2 relatives to confirm their plans with me on those days. I figured if one said they needed to switch, I'd plug her in. I never intended to ask anyone to switch on her behalf. (I'll explain why later). Both relatives confirmed their plans.
5. She gets back to me and says, Sunday or Monday MIGHT work.
6. The next day I get back to her and say I couldn't switch anything else around (truth), that Friday had been my best day to visit her, sorry it couldn't work out for you! I even added a little teary emoticon indicating disappointment.
Any normal person would probably extend their mutual regrets and say, hey have a great rest of your time, right? That didn't happen. Read on...
A day or so later, I get a lengthy Facebook message here's the gist:
1. Explaining once more why Friday wouldn't work and how I had an "obligation". It wasn't an obligation, it was a pleasure people.
2. She'd been there the whole entire time I was there (Hello, *I* wasn't there the whole entire time).
3. How we'd always been able to meet up every time I was there (patently false, I can name at least 2 times she jerked me around).
4. And that (get this)
her feelings were hurt.That's right. She tried to guilt me on my own trip. That there was the kicker of all time.
On my trip, I had a total of 19 people who wanted to see me. I couldn't see 3 of them for various reasons and she turned out to be one of them. She's the only person who never invited me to do anything, never invited me to drop over the house (where apparently she is housebound by a puppy--don't ask--never said a word about that prior to my trip), and she's the ONLY person who tried to guilt me on my own trip which I paid actual money for, for not being able to see her. Do you see how she expected me to make room for her based on a "might work"? Uh yeah, I'm totally doing that.
I did that once on a trip, moved someone around for her and she bailed.
That last lengthy message trying to guilt me proved to me forever and all time that this is either someone who is incapable of thought and/or is entirely toxic. Or both. In any case, a defining moment.
I thought for 5 seconds about showing her the messages in sequence and how clear I had been, but ultimately decided not to get in the ring with her, never replied and don't plan to.
The End.