I feel a great deal of gratitude towards Cassius University for its generosity in letting me continue to present the annual Sampson Avard Golden Scepter Award--a great honor which, since its inception, has been given to a person--nearly always a believing and committed Latter-day Saint--who has contributed the most to our understanding of Mopologetics. This year, I'm very pleased to say that the nominating committee has selected a very long-lasting player from the field: someone who has earned notoriety for his work on the darker fringes of Mopologetics. It seems that, despite his long-time status as something of a second-order "button man," and despite his slimy and unflattering nickname, this was a person who was always had his eyes on greater and more ambitious horizons. This year, my friends, the Award unequivocally goes to Allen "The Slug" Wyatt, whose preternatural candor propelled him to the top of the nominating committee's list. Indeed, it was his revelation that he--not Daniel Peterson nor any other actually credentialed Mopologist--is the true editor of Mormon Interpreter, that earned him this year's Scepter.
This means, I suppose, that one can either blame or congratulate him for whatever it is that MI has published. In any case, I hope you'll join me in congratulating Editor Wyatt! Raise a glass! Help yourself to a pound or two of M&Ms! Three cheers! Hip hip hooray! Brother Wyatt, whose academic degrees go unnamed on the Mormon Interpreter website (a massive departure from the usual practice), joins a venerable pantheon of past winners of the Golden Scepter. If you have a moment, I encourage you to view the beautiful plaque, with names of past winners, that is posted in the atrium beside Dean Robbers's office.