Just do it

[_Jersey Girl]

Today I did something I've wanted to do for years now. I cannot express how much guts it took or how I thought I'd die on the spot, but I did it. I finally did it.

Today is the birthday of my first ever bf from back in Jersey. I've known his birthday since grade school. I also know that he died just about the same time my mother died years ago. He died of a combination of drugs and alcohol in the parking lot of a Shore bar where he had been drinking with his wife and then he went out to the car to shoot up and never came back.

I know how that probably sounds, but I remember a young boy who wasn't a biker or drug addicted. His only bike back then was a stingray that he did stunts on, okay? If you've ever seen the movie My Girl, that's how I remember him and our time together. I can't even watch that movie without it reminding me of him.

When Facebook came along, I eventually looked up his family and found his brother's Facebook page. I noticed on every June 21st that he paid tribute to his little brother. He's got childhood photos of him and some of them were from when we were going together, so of course they bring back fond memories and make me cry at the same time. All these years, I have wanted to contact his brother and today I did it.

I sent him a lengthy message telling him who I was and sharing memories of his brother with him. For example, once when we walked to the movies in another town, he had a pocket knife where he stopped at every tree and carved our initials in it. :-) I barely got the guts up to send it, but I did. I figured at most he would ignore it and at the very worst, he ask me just who I thought I was and would tell me to go straight to hell and leave him alone in his grief.

He didn't.

He got the message and within minutes, he wrote back to me and said how much he appreciated the message and then talked to me about his losses in life. I did my best to respond with comforting and kindness, and offered that I may have some old photos to share if he'd like them.

Whew!

So my message to you today is that if you've been sitting on something you've wanted to do for years, just do it.

Just take a flying leap of faith, follow your heart, and jump in and do it! You only go around once and just try to make it count for something meaningful if you can. You might be wholesale rejected or you might have a pleasant experience that fills you up.

I could never forget you, JSM.
<3

[_Res Ipsa]

Awesome. Thanks for sharing that.

[_Jersey Girl]

Thanks, RI. I even described his brother's ring for him so he'd know it was entirely legit--yeah, it's really her. And he did know it.

Back then when a boy asked you to 'go steady' he gave you his ring to put on a chain and wear around your neck. All true. :-)

[_huckelberry]

Jersey Girl, your report of this adds a little light to the day.

[_MeDotOrg]

Great story, Jersey Girl. Makes you realize every relationship is a thread, and sometimes you can still tug on the thread.

After my brother died, I wrote a letter to his first girlfriend about his life and death. It was one of the best letters I've ever written, but I have never been able to track her down. But the thread is still there...

[_Jersey Girl]

Jersey Girl, your report of this adds a little light to the day.

Oh I am happy to know that, huck!

[_Jersey Girl]

Great story, Jersey Girl. Makes you realize every relationship is a thread, and sometimes you can still tug on the thread.

After my brother died, I wrote a letter to his first girlfriend about his life and death. It was one of the best letters I've ever written, but I have never been able to track her down. But the thread is still there...

Thank you so much, Me Dot. If you only knew how much guts that took for me to do! I wish someone could have written me the kind of letter that you wrote for your brother's gf. When I learned of this particular death I was in the throes of terrible depression having had too much happen in a very short time so it felt like the universe was driving yet another nail through my heart.

Both the brother and his wife have sent me friend requests. I'm guessing that the brother let his wife read my messages. I am going to sleep on that because I'm not sure I want to accept. I know he knows it's me and that the message was sincere because I identified myself in various ways and mentioned people we both knew and I called his brother by the name I always called him when we were young, not the name that everyone else called him. I did the same with him as well when I addressed him.

I hope that the memories that I shared helps him to know that there are folks out there who remember his brother and what a good boy he was. I told him that, too.

Not many girls get to know a boy who carves their initials on every single tree for like 2 miles and back again. That's a total of 4 miles of trees bearing scars of first love!

:-)

[_Jersey Girl]

Just do it, Jersey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BERd61bDY7k

[_Quasimodo]

Today I did something I've wanted to do for years now. I cannot express how much guts it took or how I thought I'd die on the spot, but I did it. I finally did it.

Today is the birthday of my first ever bf from back in Jersey. I've known his birthday since grade school. I also know that he died just about the same time my mother died years ago. He died of a combination of drugs and alcohol in the parking lot of a Shore bar where he had been drinking with his wife and then he went out to the car to shoot up and never came back.

I know how that probably sounds, but I remember a young boy who wasn't a biker or drug addicted. His only bike back then was a stingray that he did stunts on, okay? If you've ever seen the movie My Girl, that's how I remember him and our time together. I can't even watch that movie without it reminding me of him.

When Facebook came along, I eventually looked up his family and found his brother's Facebook page. I noticed on every June 21st that he paid tribute to his little brother. He's got childhood photos of him and some of them were from when we were going together, so of course they bring back fond memories and make me cry at the same time. All these years, I have wanted to contact his brother and today I did it.

I sent him a lengthy message telling him who I was and sharing memories of his brother with him. For example, once when we walked to the movies in another town, he had a pocket knife where he stopped at every tree and carved our initials in it. :-) I barely got the guts up to send it, but I did. I figured at most he would ignore it and at the very worst, he ask me just who I thought I was and would tell me to go straight to hell and leave him alone in his grief.

He didn't.

He got the message and within minutes, he wrote back to me and said how much he appreciated the message and then talked to me about his losses in life. I did my best to respond with comforting and kindness, and offered that I may have some old photos to share if he'd like them.

Whew!

So my message to you today is that if you've been sitting on something you've wanted to do for years, just do it.

Just take a flying leap of faith, follow your heart, and jump in and do it! You only go around once and just try to make it count for something meaningful if you can. You might be wholesale rejected or you might have a pleasant experience that fills you up.

I could never forget you, JSM.
<3

Face Book is getting a lot of bad PR these days and probably rightly so, but there are some wonderful things that happen there. Your story is one of those.

Finding old friends and meeting family members that you never knew existed is one of those very good things.

I met a cousin living in England by sheer accident on Facebook and we started an Facebook site for our family. It's up to over 70 members now and more join on a regular basis. Many I have never met and many of those have become my good friends on Facebook.

Some of them I found by doing a DNA test and are now on the family site, as well. There is something wonderful about all of those lost people meeting each other, getting acquainted and becoming friends. It's interesting how often family puzzle pieces come together. Some have one part of the story and others have the rest.

I agree, do it! There are no downsides.

[_Jersey Girl]

Face Book is getting a lot of bad PR these days and probably rightly so, but there are some wonderful things that happen there. Your story is one of those.

Finding old friends and meeting family members that you never knew existed is one of those very good things.

I met a cousin living in England by sheer accident on Facebook and we started an Facebook site for our family. It's up to over 70 members now and more join on a regular basis. Many I have never met and many of those have become my good friends on Facebook.

Some of them I found by doing a DNA test and are now on the family site, as well. There is something wonderful about all of those lost people meeting each other, getting acquainted and becoming friends. It's interesting how often family puzzle pieces come together. Some have one part of the story and others have the rest.

I agree, do it! There are no downsides.

That is an amazing story! You are so much friendlier than I am. I wouldn't be able to cope with that many people! Yes, do it. Whatever it is, do it. And just remember, if it doesn't work out there's always a block feature!