Taking sexism and misogyny seriously

[_Jersey Girl]

Lemmie I found the comments. Do you think there is good reason to bring them to this thread or would you rather pass on that offer?

[_Chap]

There is a poster here who spent one evening last month making six or seven subtly threatening posts about my son, regarding very specific bad things that might happen to him, including false arrest due to someone lying about him, being hurt in an aggressive arrest, being brutalized and assaulted while in custody, and how “bad things can happen” if he is not “careful.”

If you are the person referred to, and if you are of the male sex, then by the powers vested in me I hereby expel you from that identity, and consign you to the state of 'vicious but ultimately trivial and neuter little gnome living in his mother's basement'. Be ashamed - because if you feel ashamed, that might be the first sign that you are beginning the long slow climb back to human status. But till you finally make it back .... so long, scum. We shan't miss you.

[_Lemmie]

Lemmie I found the comments. Do you think there is good reason to bring them to this thread or would you rather pass on that offer?

No, they were part of a threads or threads eventually moved to the mega thread, but with the references to my son still in. I don’t think they need to be repeated here.

I do like Chap’s approach, however!

[_Jersey Girl]

Got it.

[_Gunnar]

but I still have the impression that whenever there is an error in judicial judgement in such cases, it is more likely the man who is unfairly treated than the woman.

How? I have yet to see anyone on the thread state just how men are treated unfairly or how the courts rule in favor of the woman.

So tell me how.

It's nothing more than a vague impression I have gotten from having seen more TV and movie dramas about men having been unjustly denied custody than about women having been unjustly denied custody. It is a purely subjective impression that could very well be mistaken.

[_Jersey Girl]

How? I have yet to see anyone on the thread state just how men are treated unfairly or how the courts rule in favor of the woman.

So tell me how.

It's nothing more than a vague impression I have gotten from having seen more TV and movie dramas about men having been unjustly denied custody than about women having been unjustly denied custody. It is a purely subjective impression that could very well be mistaken.

That's it? Okay, fine.

[_Chap]

It's nothing more than a vague impression I have gotten from having seen more TV and movie dramas about men having been unjustly denied custody than about women having been unjustly denied custody. It is a purely subjective impression that could very well be mistaken.

Thanks for this explanation. The evidence you mention is actually quite useful in forming an impression of the views of the kind of people who commission, write and direct TV programs - or, perhaps more accurately, in forming an idea of what such people believe to be the prejudices of the audience they wish to attract as viewers.

But as I think you would be the first to acknowledge, it is not much of a guide to what actually takes place in divorce settlements. I would agree, however, that there are certainly likely to be more divorced men who feel unfairly treated than there are women, for the reasons indicated in my previous post, relating to the judge's prioritising the welfare of children when there are limited assets in the marriage (you can't saw a house in half, and the kids have to live somewhere) and the woman has been the primary carer, as she most frequently is.

[_Gunnar]

Thanks for this explanation. The evidence you mention is actually quite useful in forming an impression of the views of the kind of people who commission, write and direct TV programs - or, perhaps more accurately, in forming an idea of what such people believe to be the prejudices of the audience they wish to attract as viewers.

But as I think you would be the first to acknowledge, it is not much of a guide to what actually takes place in divorce settlements. I would agree, however, that there are certainly likely to be more divorced men who feel unfairly treated than there are women, for the reasons indicated in my previous post, relating to the judge's prioritising the welfare of children when there are limited assets in the marriage (you can't saw a house in half, and the kids have to live somewhere) and the woman has been the primary carer, as she most frequently is.

Yes, of course, and thanks in turn for your own comments. You understand me well, and I love the way you stimulate and clarify my own thinking, leaving me better informed because of our exchanges than I otherwise would have been. You always make a great deal of good sense!

[_Chap]

Yes, of course, and thanks in turn for your own comments.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

These states still have permanent alimony - New Jersey, Connecticut, Vermont, North Carolina, West Virginia, Florida, and Oregon which disproportionately affect men. Divorce is tricky for sure, and considering most divorces are initiated by women men are in a precarious arrangement with regard to assets, post-divorce income, child alienation, whatever. I also believe many if not most men simply roll over in a divorce, but I'm not sure why. I dunno. Divorce is a sad and tragic thing. The upside is if both parents do well by their kids they can come through it just fine. My kids had some bumps in the road, but ultimately they ended up with two sets of parents who were and are devoted to them, so divorce doesn't necessarily mean maladjustment for everyone.

- Doc