Problems with the board

[_MeDotOrg]

Man, I hate it when mom and dad fight. Can I come stay with you for a few days uncle Gunnar?

Sometimes mom and dad forget that they love each other. I mean like really forget.

[_Icarus]

no ____ I outed someone recently.

And that’s why I am not interested in participating on a board you own.

Would you be cool with other people outing me with no repercussions to be had? Because that's what happened, and it was the only reason I did it because it was the only recourse I had. I was outed no fewer than three times over the course of a week before I had even noticed, so there is really no telling how many other times it had happened without my knowledge. He didn't edit his remarks when I initially complained and the mods have had no ability to reprimand or censor posts since the forum went on the fritz in April. The system, even when it was "working", also allows participants to say heinous things about another poster's spouse even as she lay in the Leukemia ward fighting for her life (which two posters knew when they called her a whore and a mail order bride). Jersey Girl ignores the fact that I could have very easily made disparaging remarks about their wives from Facebook posts, photos, etc. If I were only interested in "getting even" that would be the way to do it I suppose. But the thing is, I don't attack people I don't know, especially if they've never done anything to deserve it.

Regarding the sale of the forum, all of this is probably a moot point since I think it is becoming less likely to happen. But any board I own is going to have stricter rules to be sure. I think Shades designed his rules to get as much board participation as humanly possible. Here, literally everyone is welcome to register and post regardless of what they say or do, and it is even a violation to suggest to someone that they should leave. No matter how derailing, trolling, racist or abhorrent their commentary may be, one can find himself reprimanded for merely suggesting that person go elsewhere. In short, I'd be focused on quality discussion/participation instead of quantity.

As such, I'd definitely make the following changes:

Rule #1: No attacking family members - no exceptions
Rule #2: No outing of any participants' in real life identity - no exceptions

First time offenders will be suspended for three months. Second time offenders, banned permanently.

If these two rules had already been in effect here, all of the drama that has transpired over the past couple of years would have been easily avoided.

Rule #3: Thread starters have administration rights to their own thread. Meaning, if the thread is about Abortion, and someone on page one immediately derails onto an irrelevant subject like Hungarian basket-weaving or Racism in British sports, the thread starter gets to have that post removed to keep discussions on topic and organized.

I have a feeling that Mav/Keene, if he ever responds at all, is going to counter back with something in the $2,500-$5,000 range. He'll probably put a monetary value on the board based on consistent traffic over 15+ years, which is clearly information he'll know better than us all.

Also, EA remaining as moderator is an absolute must, so I'd need confirmation from him that he's OK with that. I'd even be willing to pay him to stay on if it is a "time is money" issue for him.

[_Lemmie]

no ____ I outed someone recently.

And that’s why I am not interested in participating on a board you own.

Would you be cool with other people outing me with no repercussions to be had?

Irrelevant but of course not.

Because that's what happened, and it was the only reason I did it because it was the only recourse I had.

Hence my point. You will disclose in real life information if you have what you think is a good reason.

As such, I'd definitely make the following changes:

Rule #1: No attacking family members - no exceptions
Rule #2: No outing of any participants' in real life identity - no exceptions

So you would suspend or ban yourself from a board you own for what you did?

I’m not without empathy for your situation. Maybe you’re not aware but a poster here decided to make (slightly vague but still terrifying) threats against my son because he didn’t like that I called his posts sexist. I reported his posts but last time I checked the reports are still pending. This happened just before a female judge, serving here in my state, had her son killed by a sexist lunatic who was after her. His rantings were tolerated also, for years. Until her son was dead. Now, suppose I was on your board and you made the decision that I should be outed. For your reasons. Sorry, no.

[_Icarus]

You're missing the point.

Had these rules been in place, there would have been no reason to post in real life information about someone who was just banned for something that the mods already edited out. The only reason I did this on this forum was to coerce the removal of disparaging remarks about my wife. That's it. Don't be quick to judge, because you may have done the same thing if that were the only tool in your arsenal. Well, maybe not since you're anonymous. But I came on the message boards 20+ years ago using my real name, and almost everyone here knows about my real life, but more to the point, my wife's name, her occupation, her medical history, her nationality, etc. So it becomes far more personal for me as opposed to some anonymous person on the web hearing some other anonymous idiot calling his wife names out of spite; especially during a time when we were told she has only a 60% chance to live past the next five years.

[_Icarus]

I’m not without empathy for your situation. Maybe you’re not aware but a poster here decided to make (slightly vague but still terrifying) threats against my son because he didn’t like that I called his posts sexist. I reported his posts but last time I checked the reports are still pending. This happened just before a female judge, serving here in my state, had her son killed by a sexist lunatic who was after her. His rantings were tolerated also, for years. Until her son was dead. Now, suppose I was on your board and you made the decision that I should be outed. For your reasons. Sorry, no.

I wasn't aware, and that is horrible.

But on my board, the person who attacked your son would be banned.

ETA: It is probably worth mentioning that I wasn't "entrusted" with anyone's identity. It isn't like they were my friends, knew who they were, and I suddenly betrayed them. Their in real life information came to me via off board chatter from other participants who had a longer history with them than I did, and I was warned to tread carefully because one of them had a criminal history of domestic violence. That information just came to me, I wasn't investigating anyone, and sometimes I wish I could pretend I don't know what I know, but my bias towards that person will likely always reflect that knowledge no matter how hard I try to forget it. When I decided to out them, it was because they had caused harm to me by attacking my wife and they weren't friends I needed to betray, they were just a couple of assholes hiding behind pseudonyms so they could make heinous comments on the web. Kinda like the guy who threatened your son.

[_Jersey Girl]

Would you be cool with other people outing me with no repercussions to be had? Because that's what happened, and it was the only reason I did it because it was the only recourse I had.

Show me where another poster attempted to "out" you on the recent thread where you attempted to post in real life three times in succession in less than a week's time. Go ahead. Bump up that thread and show me. Copy the post where the exchanges initiated. I'm happy to view them.

I have no issue admitting if I am wrong. So show me.

[_Icarus]

I actually ran a very successful message forum around the same time this forum began. It was actually better than this one with cutting edge technology that allowed each poster to manipulate the interface to his or her liking, had active chat rooms, allowed blogs for each poster, could post videos in screen, etc. Shades and I were trying to give people an alternative to the MAD board after ZLMB went belly up and I went all out on the bells ans whistles the best forums had to offer back then. Both of our forums were very successful for about 9 months and I believe mine actually had more traffic, and many of the people who also posted here were posting there too. DCP, David Bokovoy, Dan MCClellan, Brian Hauglid, were some popular names who posted there regularly.

But I had just moved to Brazil, was adjusting to a new life, my wife was pregnant with our second child, and given that this forum already served the same purpose I discontinued my board within a year. Had I known at the time that Shades never really owned this board, and that it could disappear on the whim of some mysterious dude he actually owns it on his private server, then I likely would have kept it online the entire time.

[_Jersey Girl]

As such, I'd definitely make the following changes:

Rule #1: No attacking family members - no exceptions
Rule #2: No outing of any participants' in real life identity - no exceptions

Those already exist.

First time offenders will be suspended for three months. Second time offenders, banned permanently.

If these two rules had already been in effect here, all of the drama that has transpired over the past couple of years would have been easily avoided.

They already exist

Rule #3: Thread starters have administration rights to their own thread. Meaning, if the thread is about Abortion, and someone on page one immediately derails onto an irrelevant subject like Hungarian basket-weaving or Racism in British sports, the thread starter gets to have that post removed to keep discussions on topic and organized.

We did the early on. Don't you remember it?

I have a feeling that Mav/Keene, if he ever responds at all, is going to counter back with something in the $2,500-$5,000 range. He'll probably put a monetary value on the board based on consistent traffic over 15+ years, which is clearly information he'll know better than us all.

Ok.

Also, EAllusion remaining as moderator is an absolute must, so I'd need confirmation from him that he's OK with that. I'd even be willing to pay him to stay on if it is a "time is money" issue for him.

EA isn't HERE. He hasn't been here for 2 months now.

[Guest]

Would you be cool with other people outing me with no repercussions to be had? Because that's what happened, and it was the only reason I did it because it was the only recourse I had.

Show me where another poster attempted to "out" you on the recent thread where you attempted to post in real life three times in succession in less than a week's time. Go ahead. Bump up that thread and show me. Copy the post where the exchanges initiated. I'm happy to view them.

I have no issue admitting if I am wrong. So show me.

There was no "attempt" to out me. He mentioned my real name in consecutive posts, for no apparent reason other than boredom. It was only after I mentioned his name, and your subsequent conniption fit, that he went back and edited my name from his posts.

How can you pretend to be ignorant here? I told you in that same thread that I'd be happy to edit out his name as soon as he edited out my name from his previous posts. He removed my name from his posts, and so I removed his name just as I said I would. Hence, what I did worked as intended. It was the only thing that could have been done too, as the mods had no power to edit anything.

[_Icarus]

They already exist

But not enforced. When they are, it can take days. always with slap on wrist.

EAllusion isn't HERE. He hasn't been here for 2 months now.

Hence, my offer to compensate him. I value his presence that much.