The 2021 Sampson Avard Golden Scepter Award

[Doctor Scratch]

It's undeniable that change is in the air--especially in the realm of Mopologetics--as the autumn season descends on the campus here at Cassius University. Dr. Peterson has retired from BYU, and what's more, one can sense that a "changing of the guard" may be underway, with the heavy-lifting work of attacking critics being increasingly handed off to the younger generation. While the Old Guard is busy trying to extract as much money as possible for the "Witnesses" movie project and for various cruise trips, the Young Guard is taking up arms via new-wave, Internet-based methods. Last year's Golden Scepter recipient, for example, has been the host of a podcast. New technologies are being exploited, and new gauntlets are being thrown down. Long ago, the Dean of Cassius University--Dr. Robbers--established the Sampson Avard Golden Scepter Award as a means of recognizing someone who has made "an unmistakable and transformative contribution to the field of Mopologetics." This year, I'm very pleased to announce the the recipient of the 2021 Award is none other than.... Kwaku El!




Brash, confident, handsome, and vaguely Steve Urkel-esque, Kwaku makes a dashing addition to the pantheon of young Mopologists. He gained widespread notoriety after scaring the bejesus out of John Dehlin with his edit of a scene from Inglorious Basterds that featured Dehlin getting clobbered on the noggin with a baseball bat. (If I'm not mistaken, Dehlin contacted the authorities over the video.) Sporting a bold yet nostalgic fashion sense that seems like it owes something to the old '90s TV program, Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Kwaku also drew attention thanks to his FAIR-sponsored "TiTS" videos--the name of which was apparently adopted in order to appeal to a "younger crowd." Lately, Kwaku is part of the team hosting "Midnight Mormons," a YouTube program that plays like a Mormon version of The Morton Downey Jr. Show, albeit without the chain-smoking. It's a powerful reminder that, even as the players change, the program remains essentially the same.

In any case, I hope you'll join me in congratulating Mr. El on this great honor!

[Moksha]

Dr. Scratch always has interesting things to say. I need to dash right now, but I wanted to ask him to do another thread on the upcoming Dune movie.

[Dr Moore]

Grats! Well deserved attention for a notably, and suitably, immature attention whore.

[Philo Sofee]

Kwaku! Kwaku! Kwaku! Kwak us up, we love the laughs, so sorry they are, unfortunately at your expense, but you can find a way to put your big boy pants on and man up, hold that head up high, and continue producing Mormon smut titled works like you did with the hilarious T.i.T.S. That was outta sight bro! Perhaps something like FAIR Undoes Criticisms Knowledgably! Or... Nelson Understand The Spirit. Or... Facing Uphill Critical Knacks Let Disagreements Slip. I mean, with your talent we are bound to see ever greater glory to your intellect and Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Spirituality. Love ya bro., you dumb ass ding-a-ling.

[Kishkumen]

Congratulations, Mr. Kwaku El! A well deserved honor from the greatest scholar of Mopologetics of our time, Doctor Scratch. It takes talent and dedication to win this award. Past recipients have been very smart, able people. All you need to do is ditch that Cardboard Smith. Then you’ll really have something. Oh, and integrity helps too. Look into that.

[Fence Sitter]

This ought to be of great concern to the Old Guard. The worthy recipient of this years award not only has zero academic credentials nor any cv at all, he is defending a version of Mormonism the guard does not recognize using methods they do not understand and getting more widespread attention for his work then they ever did. They have to be asking themselves; what is the point of spending years getting an education so they can write papers and books no one reads when a 30 minute poorly done podcast makes you instantly famous?

"Well there goes 40 years of work down the drain."

[Doctor Scratch]

Grats! Well deserved attention for a notably, and suitably, immature attention whore.

What you're describing has a long and storied tradition in Mopologetics, Dr. Moore--embodied most prominently, perhaps, by Daniel C. Peterson. You might say that he has been leading by example, and that Kwaku is a natural evolution of this particular tendency.

[Doctor Scratch]

This ought to be of great concern to the Old Guard. The worthy recipient of this years award not only has zero academic credentials nor any cv at all, he is defending a version of Mormonism the guard does not recognize using methods they do not understand and getting more widespread attention for his work then they ever did. They have to be asking themselves; what is the point of spending years getting an education so they can write papers and books no one reads when a 30 minute poorly done podcast makes you instantly famous?

"Well there goes 40 years of work down the drain."

This is, in some ways, an important observation. While this year's awardee is definitely continuing certain traditions, he's also helping to show just how unimportant degrees, "scholarship," and all that other nonsense actually was. Many people said that the scholarly affections were mere window-dressing. Now you can see just how true that observation was.

[Fence Sitter]

I watched the 60 minute interview last night with the Facebook whistleblower. It's must see for those who missed it. It made me realize how much algorithms drive our social media and why. This girl accused Facebook of choosing profit as the governing factor in deciding which content is displayed on individual's personal pages. Turns out the old adage "if it bleeds it leads" holds true so Facebook sets up their algorithms to drive clickbait content to personal pages. Negativity interest people a lot more than feel good stories and the result is that negative stories, conspiracy theories, fringe theories, and other such content gets a lot more response than "today nothing happened." What this means for Facebook is that they choose to emphasize content that would engage the reader which increased their profits rather than try and filter out content that was potentially dangerous. This is why they are getting some blame for the Jan 6 insurrection.

What does this mean for Mormonism in regards to this thread? It means that Kwaku understands better how to present a Mormon apologetic topic to interested faithful readers than past generations of apologists. More so he understands better how to reach the youth in the church than leadership does, though I doubt they would be at all comfortable with his techniques.

[Dr Moore]

Grats! Well deserved attention for a notably, and suitably, immature attention whore.

What you're describing has a long and storied tradition in Mopologetics, Dr. Moore--embodied most prominently, perhaps, by Daniel C. Peterson. You might say that he has been leading by example, and that Kwaku is a natural evolution of this particular tendency.

I believe we should add psychohistory to the impressive polyhistor repertoire of our B.H. Roberts Chair. Kwaku El, Mopologist, is indeed a predictable outcome of an unchecked FARMSian tradition. Drawing from my personal experience, it was precisely the tone of hypocritical rudeness and mean dismissal at Dr. Peterson's living room, Sic et Non, that led me to discover the eons of documentary history held here, and other gems within Cassius U's special collections library. It makes me wonder, what is the long-range psychohistoric prediction for probable outcomes of Mopologetics?