In my opinion, if what seems reasonable were being done, we would be having far fewer of these issues....but It seems completely reasonable that this would be the case.
Just so you understand, i was raised LDS and married in the temple, and come from families where both parents, all 4 grandparents, and all 8 ggparents were LDS. The 16 gggps above that were all converts. All children in the last three generations were LDS, i was the first to leave, excepting 2 uncles. Now, of course, its completely different.
Im stating this background so you understand that i likely have at least as much experience as you in how the LDS church has worked, at least until very recent years where my closest LDS family members are also mostly out. I recognize your approach, and learned very well how to present an LDS image.
It's a skill I retain, but in my opinion the exercising of that skill by many is not an honest approach. It is too overwhelmingly guided by complete loyalty to a subsuming religion that demands no less than complete acquiescence if one is to stay in its good graces. It requires auch eye-shutting to reality, truth, and goodness in general than sometimes i can't believe the verbal pretzels that result.