The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2022

[Dr Moore]

…I don’t think it’s intellectually rigorous to say cute little one-liners or quips meant to inflame. I certainly don’t like JAQing off…

Same poster.

Does everything shock you?

Mic drop.

[Dr Moore]

Doctor, thank you for yet another joyously entertaining holiday novelty.

If I may suggest an honorary mention, Elder Holland's "Musket Fire" as both a rallying cry for defenders of the brethren (when it comes to supporting them on anti-LGBTQ policy lines) and a warning to all BYU (and church) employees. Get in line or get out. Within a few months, we have already seen the effects. BYU faculty have been fired over support for gay & transgender rights, even those with current temple recommends and full bishop/ecclesiastical endorsement. Scary times to be at BYU.

[Kishkumen]

Will the Revered Kishkumen regale us with Christmas carols done in the style of Gary Numan?

Boy, you sure do your research!

[Kishkumen]

Rosalynde Welch, Jim Faulconer, Don Bradley, Daniel McLellan…

?

[Shulem]

8. John Gee & Interpreter's Book of Abraham Woes Continue

Drs. Peterson and Hamblin used to be fond of cracking jokes about something they called "anti-Mormon Zombie Hell," which was their nickname for criticisms that never seemed to die. Surely the Mopologetic equivalent is the Book of Abraham, which has been a painful cause of apostasies for close to a century at this point, and it has been the source of frequent embarrassment for the Mopologists in general, and John Gee in particular. 2022 was no different in that regard. In March, John Gee delivered a very strange article in "Interpreter" in which he argued that critics aren't reading the Book of Abraham because they failed to notice a particular "anachronism." Given that anachronisms are usually an indication that a supposedly ancient LDS text *is not* actually "ancient," one has to wonder just what Gee and the Editors at Interpreter were up to here. It's certainly one of the most bizarre entries in the canon of god-awful Book of Abraham apologetics.

Meanwhile, in September, Interpreter Editor Jeff Lindsay published a piece that rehashed many of the usual Book of Abraham talking points, with a good measure of smear tactics flung in the direction of Dan Vogel and Brian Hauglid. You have to wonder at what point the Mopologists will exhaust their willingness to keep dealing with the "Zombie hell" that is Book of Abraham apologetics.

John Gee's worst nightmare is undoubtably the content of chapter one of the Book of Abraham which tenders a false story of how ancient Egypt came to be. Never mind the Facsimiles! Who cares? Those are small potatoes and are a sideshow. But the actual narrative of chapter one in the Book of Abraham is a farce beyond all measure. Do you think Gee can defend that? Do you think Gee will write articles showing how chapter one provides historical information of the rise of Egypt? How hardly. And if Gee is reading this he knows damn well what I'm talking about. He knows I can crush him! Wipe him out!! Mop up the floor.

If Gee writes a paper defending chapter one coupled with Smith's chronology then I will be forced to play the nuclear card and will summon the world body of Egyptology to take matters up in order to defend Egyptology.

Don't do it, John. Just finish your time and retire. It's over. You've lost and you know it.

[Doctor Scratch]

You are a true legend, Shulem. If the stars were somehow to align so that you could debate Gee head-to-head, it would be epic. It will never happen, but in a just world, someone would find a way to get it done.

[Doctor Scratch]

Will the Revered Kishkumen regale us with Christmas carols done in the style of Gary Numan?

Boy, you sure do your research!

Oh, I think I just have a decent memory from time to time.

[Doctor Scratch]

Doctor, thank you for yet another joyously entertaining holiday novelty.

If I may suggest an honorary mention, Elder Holland's "Musket Fire" as both a rallying cry for defenders of the brethren (when it comes to supporting them on anti-LGBTQ policy lines) and a warning to all BYU (and church) employees. Get in line or get out. Within a few months, we have already seen the effects. BYU faculty have been fired over support for gay & transgender rights, even those with current temple recommends and full bishop/ecclesiastical endorsement. Scary times to be at BYU.

That’s a very interesting point, Dr. Moore. It’s rare that we see clear cases where the Brethren endorse or acknowledge Mopologetic views or activity. I’m curious: where did you see signs that the Mopologists were fully on board with Holland’s views?

[Informant]

Rosalynde Welch, Jim Faulconer, Don Bradley, Daniel McLellan…

?

Oh, someone brought up a “good” apologist and I was attempting to list a few others who have, y’know, a moral compass.

[Informant]

That’s a very interesting point, Dr. Moore. It’s rare that we see clear cases where the Brethren endorse or acknowledge Mopologetic views or activity. I’m curious: where did you see signs that the Mopologists were fully on board with Holland’s views?

Here, herr doktor.


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And yes, this means I have now informed you in broad daylight instead of clandestine, behind-the-scenes way in which I usually do.