Brick of Mormon Stories (Smithmas edition!)

[Gadianton]

(Doctor Steuss, you are a genius)

Brick of Mormon stories that my teacher hid from me,
are about the the tile brick tucked under Joseph's sheet.
Length by width by height by weight approximate the plates,
let them heft, if they lift, trustingly.

Martin Harris Sidney Rigden yearned for mystery,
Joseph Smith had welcomed them and taught them how to scry.
The face of Jesus on a deer and into stones they peered,
men of faith, they did heft, mightily!

Not all of those who heard the news were crooks or dupes or rubes,
they came to Joseph's desk one day where plates lay out of view.
"No sirs you can't see them," but his guests pulled off the sheet,
Tile brick, now exposed, embarrassing!

Joseph was not caught off guard and took it in a stride,
"Come my friends let's have a drink," and he brought out the wine.
An afternoon of merriment the guests did part with glee,
All in fun, harmless prank; wink, wink, wink.

Apologists in modern times they truly were distraught,
if the plates were made of rock the gospel was for naught.
But not all choked on doom and gloom as one rose to his feet,
This brave man, his name was, DCP.

Train tracks narrow to a point the fraud is optical.
Don't forget the great neglect of Gregor J. Mendel.
"Glad tides and cheer," so went his song, "some postulates are wrong!"
Gödel said, "Math is dead!" Incomplete.

If science went so badly wrong the brick then must be true.
The saints rejoiced their heads were high they grabbed their checkbooks too.
"No slam dunks!" had worked before the liberals took his seat.
The brethren, should review, hastily.

(reverently)
The MI preached diversity; the old guard brought in tithes,
the prophet then did realize he'd been taken for a ride.
He reinstated DCP -- the MI hit the streets,
DCP; Midgley Gee; Victory!

[drumdude]

Oh my fetch this is hecking hilarious

[Philo Sofee]

This..........THIS made my holiday!

[Kishkumen]

Wow! A true and instant DM Smithmas classic! Ho Wo Lo, Dean Robbers!

[Doctor Steuss]

Brilliant.