What was the primary purpose of this forum? The "Faith Crisis 101" section explains:
So much for "we will not abandon you." Around 2015, apparently FairMormon decided it wasn't a good idea to have questioning members interacting in a public place. Can anyone guess why?Faith Crisis 101
It is personal . . .
Faith crises are personal, and occur for a multitude of reasons. What is at the root of each, however, is a loss of trust and a feeling of betrayal. Quite often a leader or member says or does something that causes us to question our confidence in the authenticity claims of the Church. Sometimes, information we were not aware of confuses us, or causes us to challenge our own assumptions about what is right, or what should be right. Sometimes, new information is difficult to interpret, and can be presented in a light that undermines our confidence. However, in every case, the loss of trust or confidence challenges our ability to choose to have faith in the gospel and the restoration.
What to believe?
Richard Bushman, Professor of History emeritus at Columbia University said this about a faith crisis based on historical or doctrinal reasons:
“When they come across this information in a critical book or read it on one of the innumerable critical Internet sites, they feel as if they had been introduced to a Joseph Smith and a Church history they had never known before. They undergo an experience like viewing the famous picture of a beautiful woman who in a blink of an eye turns into an old hag. Everything changes. What are they to believe?
You are not helping!
The reactions we receive from those we turn to sometimes undermine our need for empathy and help. Bushman continues speaking of this when he states,
“Often church leaders, parents, and friends, do not understand the force of this alternate view. Not knowing how to respond, they react defensively. They are inclined to dismiss all the evidence as anti-Mormon or of the devil. Stop reading these things if they upset you so much, the inquirer is told. Or go back to the familiar formula: scriptures, prayer, church attendance.”
He continues explaining how that is not productive and what it does to the person struggling when he continues,
“The troubled person may have been doing all of these things sincerely, perhaps even desperately. He or she feels the world is falling apart. Everything these inquirers put their trust in starts to crumble. They want guidance more than ever in their lives, but they don’t seem to get it. The facts that have been presented to them challenge almost everything they believe. People affected in this way may indeed stop praying; they don’t trust the old methods because they feel betrayed by the old system. Frequently they are furious. On their missions they fervently taught people about Joseph Smith without knowing any of these negative facts. Were they taken advantage of? Was the Church trying to fool them for its own purposes? These are deeply disturbing questions. They shake up everything. Should I stay in the Church? Should I tell my family? Should I just shut up and try to get along? Who can help me?”
A necessary shift!
Bushman continues to describe what has to change for one in crisis to move through it and regain faith. In describing these “reconciled” Latter-Day Saints, he says,
“[Reconciled] individuals recover their belief in the basic principles and events but are never quite the same as before. Their knowledge, although no longer toxic, gives them a new perspective. They tend to be more philosophic and less dogmatic about all the stories they once enjoyed. Here are some of the characteristics of people who have passed through this ordeal but managed to revive most of their old beliefs.
- They often say they learned the Prophet was human. They don’t expect him to be a model of perfect deportment as they once thought. He may have taken a glass of wine from time to time, or scolded his associates, or even have made business errors. They see his virtues and believe in his revelations but don’t expect perfection.
- They also don’t believe he was led by revelation in every detail. They see him as learning gradually to be a prophet and having to feel his way at times like most Church members. In between the revelations, he was left to himself to work out the methods of complying with the Lord’s commandments. Sometimes he had to experiment until he found the right way.
- These newly revived Latter-day Saints also develop a more philosophical attitude toward history. They come to see (like professional historians) that facts can have many interpretations. Negative facts are not necessarily as damning as they appear at first sight. Put in another context along side other facts, they do not necessarily destroy Joseph Smith’s reputation.
- Revived Latter-day Saints focus on the good things they derive from their faith–the community of believers, the comforts of the Holy Spirit, the orientation toward the large questions of life, contact with God, moral discipline, and many others. They don’t want to abandon these good things. Starting from that point of desired belief, they are willing to give Joseph Smith and the doctrine a favorable hearing. They may not be absolutely certain about every item, but they are inclined to see the good and the true in the Church.”
The far side of the struggle!
As he concludes, professor Bushman emphasizes how this “revived” state is more realistic and more rewarding then the pre-crisis paradigm when he says,
“At the heart of this turmoil is the question of trust. Disillusioned Latter-day Saints feel their trust has been betrayed. They don’t know whom to trust. They don’t dare trust the old feelings that once were so powerful, nor do they trust church leaders. They can only trust the new knowledge they have acquired. Those who come back to the Church are inclined to trust their old feelings. Their confidence in the good things they knew before is at least partially restored. But they sort out the goodness that seems still vital from the parts that now seem no longer tenable. Knowledge not only has given them a choice, it has compelled them to choose. They have to decide what they really believe. In the end, many are more stable and convinced than before. They feel better prepared to confront criticism openly, confident they can withstand it.”
Helping those around us.
This forum also serves to help those who seek to assist others who are struggling through a crisis of faith. Professor Bushman also speaks to such individuals when he says,
“We began by agreeing that criticisms of Joseph Smith should not be dismissed as foolish or purely evil. The negative attacks that disturb first-time readers are usually based on facts, not merely prejudiced fabrications. To play down the force of the criticism, we believe, only convinces the seekers that we do not understand. We appear to be sweeping trouble under the rug. They may have been devastated by a criticism; we must show that we understand why. Consequently, the seminar took as its first principle to state the negative argument as fully and accurately as we can. We try not to minimize the difficulty or prejudice the case against the critic. In no other way can we persuade the doubters that we understand the problem.
Secondly, we try to avoid dogmatic answers. Rather than replace the dogmatic negative attacks of the critics with our own dogmatic answers, we attempt to show that a more positive interpretation is possible. Critics often claim that Joseph’s sins were so egregious as to utterly disqualify him as a prophet. We can understand their viewpoint, but we think there is another side to the story. Rather than destroy the critics, we want to loosen their grip. In the long run, we believe this approach will persuade questioners more effectively than claims to certainty where none is possible. We believe in stating our own strong convictions about the church as a whole, but we do not pretend to perfect knowledge about complex historical questions.
We know that airing criticisms troubles many Latter-day Saints. Like most Church teachers, [WE] do not want to draw attention to questions that will only unsettle faithful members. But we also feel that silence is not the answer. The absence of instruction troubles questioners more than anything. They feel they have been betrayed because they came through their Church classes ignorant of the devastating information now a few clicks away on the internet. The gaps in their education leave them disillusioned and angry.”
Finding light!
The purpose of this forum is to let those who have reconciled their concerns with their faith lend insights to those of us who are still in the midst of our personal faith crisis. It is a safe place to work through our doubts and questions. It is a place where we can find empathy and understanding as we work through the unsettling process of re-evaluating what we thought we “knew,” as we learn to interpret historical facts through a new lens, or as we re-establish our own assumptions upon which we gauge the validity of the authenticity claims of the Church.
Those of us who have reconciled our faith have learned new skills, information, and perspectives that have given us room for our seeds of faith to grow. It is a new light that nourishes and gives strength to our faith. We are here to help you attain that same light in your life. It will not be instant, as the flipping of a light switch when we enter a room. Rather, it will be like a rising sun that will gradually bring the truth of the distant horizon into more plain view. The pain, the frustrations, and the fears we feel as this new light shines upon us will shift and change over time until we regain a renewed comfort with a new reality, and there are many people here to help you make sense of what you are feeling. We hope that your being here will be a blessing to you as you try to find your way or to support those who are in the “dark night of the soul”. In the end, we will gauge our success not by the numbers who frequent, but by the power and influence of those who come back to help others who walk that troubling path we have successfully navigated. Wherever you are at on your faith journey, we invite you to join with us in a path towards a greater light!
What to expect.
As you progress in your personal journey towards greater faith or reconciliation of doubts and questions, you may feel to ask what it will take for you to successfully navigate this oftentimes painful process. While each person’s journey will be unique to themselves, there are some common expectations you might watch look for:
Strong Emotions: It is common to have sometimes overpowering feelings directed towards others, including people you normally feel you can trust. These feelings can cause you to question their intentions. It is important to be cautious in how you react outwardly towards others as you go through your inner turmoil so as to not unnecessarily drive a wedge between yourself and people important to you. Those you love still love you, even if they don’t know how best to help you, so be patient. If you are feeling vulnerable, come back here, and unload on someone who understands what you are going through.
Darker Before the Light: Depending on where you are at in your own process of reconciliation, it is not uncommon for things to become more confusing, less uplifting, and generally less spiritual than before you started to question or doubt. This is because you are going through a simultaneous shift in emotions, and intellectual and spiritual perspectives. This combination tends to undermine your ability to feel confident in what you “know”. The process of change will tend to enhance your discomfort, and it is not uncommon for you to feel an increase in difficulty and frustration before you begin to have your emotions settle, your intellect reconcile, and your spirit become comforted. Be patient, and try to uplift yourself by simply doing for others. The process of selfless giving for others has a strong tendency to help us forget some of our own worries, and it fills us with the comfort of love.
No Going Back: You will likely feel as though you just want to go back to a point before you began to doubt, or before someone undermined your trust. You may want to return to a time when you felt innocent and free from your present worries. However, your journey is only forward! You cannot go back to where or how you were before. Your world has changed, and the only way back to a sense of peace is to work patiently through your emotions, concerns, expectations, interpretations, and even the information you trust. The “simple” life has become more complex, making your choice to have faith much more difficult. For you to successfully navigate this process, you will need to turn to those here who have been through what you are going through. You will have to learn to trust again, not just the people or the institution you now feel estranged from, but God himself. It will happen, but it will take time, so be patient and persistent in your efforts.
You Will Change: As part of your progression forward, you will not come out of this process the same as you were before you started it. Much of what confuses you stems in part from how you were raised, information you were given (or not given), how you were taught to interpret the world around you, what was systematically programmed into you as well-meaning people tried to protect you but in so doing sheltered you. You will learn to view things in a more nuanced way. Much that you expected was black and white may well prove to be full of shades of grey and color. What you expect should be right may shift. What you once knew was right may prove false. But in the end, you can and will learn to view the world and the restored gospel through a realistic lens that, with all of its cracks and flaws, is still the gospel that saves and exalts families. Be patient, and find strength through those of us who are here to help, and the change will become a welcome one at last.
It Will Not Be Easy: The culture of the Church that so strongly values faith does not serve so well the emotions of those who stumble in theirs. We have conditioned ourselves as a people with language that declares things like “I know . . . “. We sing hymns with such language, and we declare such things to others on a monthly basis in fast and testimony meetings. In reality, most of us have simply chosen faith, and have had faith affirmed to us. But as a culture, the doubting among us are sometimes assumed to have arrived at such a state because of a lack of faith or faithfulness. Some even assume that sin was the culprit, and that a mighty dose of repentance is all that is needed to restore your faith. If you simply act the part, you will regain your perspective. But this is not often the case. We realize that you likely came by your questions and concerns quite honestly. We realize that those whom you should be able to rely on to help you – family, friends, and leaders – may not be equipped themselves to give you the support you need as go through this process. They are probably fearful for you, and they simply don’t know how to help. But, we are here to help you. Be prepared for opposition even from those whose help you most need. Invite your husband, wife, bishop, son, daughter, home teacher, stake president or sister you trust to come here and learn what you are going through and how they can support you. But be patient. The Lord loves you, and we love you. In time, you will turn a corner and begin to heal again.
You Have to Remember: It is a strong temptation, as you begin to question some things, to begin to question everything you once held true and relied upon. Some question of church history or doctrine may cause you to feel that you need to start completely anew, but this is not necessarily the case. What you want to avoid is exchanging what you know with what you now question. In other words, don’t discard previous spiritual experiences, positive influences, and comforting teachings because some things have now been called into question. Rather, you need to remember those things that have proven a strength to you in the past. Write them down. Read them, and relive them. Let these positive experiences uplift you as you work through your questions, and let your positive memories give you strength to persist in patience. Consider keeping a journal as you go through this process, and use it to remind you of your progress and important lessons learned. Refer to it to remind you of good things you learn, and to help you recognize your personal progress. Some day, such a journal may serve to give insights to some other person who could benefit from what you are now going through.
Did We Say Be Patient?: Above all, realize that this is not an overnight process. it will take time, and it will not be easy. But, it will be worth it. So please be patient, knowing that in time your prayerful pleadings to understand and be understood will result in a new view on life and the gospel, and that in that new view you will in fact find peace and room for you to choose faith.
Now that the stage is set, we invite you to begin by telling your story. Create your introductory post, and tell us about you, your faith, your concerns, frustrations and doubts. Leave a part of your burden with us, and let us understand better the whole person that you are with all of your hopes, dreams, and disappointments, knowing that we love you, that we understand you, and that we will not abandon you! Welcome to a new view on life!
Here's the archive for anyone who wants to go down memory lane. There are noteworthy posts from Bill Reel, Mike Parker, Steve Smoot, etc.
https://web.archive.org/web/20141030071 ... pport.org/
