Doing me:
In my experience, any persuasive argument has to be grounded in some point of agreement. Otherwise, we end up with the situation described as “talking past each other.” I think that point of agreement is “labels don’t define us.” As a general proposition, I suspect few would disagree.
But here’s what I referred to as sleight of hand: he immediately follows up with “We are children of God,” which is just another label. And the rest of his argument is based on the implicit claim that his chosen label does define us.
The foundation of his argument is a complete contradiction: labels don’t define us & this label defines us. And the beauty of an argument that is based on a contradiction is that you can prove anything.
For me, that contradiction is sufficient to dismiss the argument. Hey Bednar, get back to me when you have an argument that doesn’t involve contradicting yourself in consecutive sentences.



But beyond being just invalid, I think this argument is damaging to gay folks. Think about the label he just slapped on us all: child of God. Who speaks for God? In the video, Bednar does. That’s a pretty big power move on Bednar’s part. The label “homosexual” when applied to a person gives Bednar no power or authority. The label “child of God” gives him tremendous power and authority over his audience. That sets up most of the rest of his argument: these are God’s rules, not mine. If you’ve got a problem with that, take it up with God. That allows him to assert “laws” that pathologize normal human behavior without taking any personal responsibility for accepting and supporting those laws. If we’re all moral agents, then Bednar is morally obliged acknowledge his choice to support laws that do real harm to real people. He chose to do that, despite the strong evidence of harm that results.
But for me, what’s even worse about his argument is it’s flat out denial of individuality. If the only label that is valid is “child of God,” then we are all the same. Bednar’s argument not only denies the existence of individuality, It gaslights you out of that sense of self — sense of identity that we all have.
I think that’s based on an equivocation on the meaning of label. His argument treats a person’s sense of identity as being the same as a reductionist label applied by one person to another. Bednar’s argument denies you the ability to define yourself. You don’t get to do that because Bednar says the only label you get is “child of God” because he speaks for God and you don’t.
I mean, how screwed up is that? You are a free moral agent who doesn’t have the freedom to define who you are.
If a faithful, gay, LDS member comes to Bednar and asks the question Bednar was asked, Bednar’s answer is “I don’t care who you think you are: you’re wrong. You are who I tell you you are. Period.
That kind of gaslighting is mentally unhealthy at best. For gay folks, it’s downright cruel. But the cruelty hidden unless you understand what Bednar is actually arguing and think about the consequences.
A different way to come at the critique is to note how the devoutly religious experience hurt when their religion is attacked. Why is that? Because there are no neat, clear distinction between religious belief and the believer’s sense of self. The self and the religion are inextricably intertwined. Now apply that to something as fundamental as human sexuality. The fact that sexual attraction doesn’t define us does not mean that sexual attraction is not an important part of identity.
The argument is a mess. But it’s not the same mess as “homosexuality is a sin.”