Conference Predictions Here!

[Philo Sofee]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48Kr8cMN5Fk&t=70s

Many of we podcasters got together and mused about the upcoming General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Here are our predictions about what it will bring us. Come enjoy with us!

[I Have Questions]

I predict it will pass without a specific prophesy, revelation, or example of seership being uttered. All but a small few speakers will be men. All but maybe 1 of the speakers will be white, or American. The overarching message will be ‘do as you’re told by us’. No apologies will be given, for anything, not even the perpetration of financial fraud. Eyring will cry and smack his lips.

And above all else…it will be a Nelsonfest. Every Apostle speaker will talk about how wonderful Nelson is. Like a meeting of a mafia cartel where they all pay their respects to The Don.

[Moksha]

Some speakers will probably hint at Donald Trump's divinity and how he embodies the LDS ideal of truth.

[Everybody Wang Chung]

[Tom]

In a taped address, President Russell M. Nelson will invite all church members to fast from all media for 10 days.

He and/or others will emphasize the importance of using the church’s revealed name.

A general authority will speak on the importance of building temples around the world, especially in cities and towns in which residents object to construction of buildings with spires over 550 feet tall.

At least one general authority will draw an analogy based on the renovation of the Salt Lake temple.

President Oaks will speak on transgender church members. Wrong.

A general authority will speak on the purpose of tithing (so that the church can purchase more farmland in Florida and Australia).

A general authority will speak about what he does and does not like about “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.”

A speaker will give counsel about finding peace in an increasing wicked and turbulent world.

A general authority will claim that the church has never been stronger.

A general authority will speak about music and the new hymnbook.

Three women will speak.

A general authority not named Russell M. Nelson will pay tribute to Russell M. Nelson.

[malkie]

After listening to the proposed sustaining of the GAs, and raising my hand at the appropriate time, I predict that I will report myself to my Stake President.

[Everybody Wang Chung]

I expect to see one of the Apostles speaking in tongues and Oaks will decide to do a massive no-touch-knockout, after realizing how boring Conference is:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-x8Bhrjw ... ture=share

[Tom]

President Nelson will demote Elder Uchtdorf a second time, this time by making him emeritus (to prevent him from ever becoming church president).

[Philo Sofee]

President Nelson will demote Elder Uchtdorf a second time, this time by making him emeritus (to prevent him from ever becoming church president).

Oh we can only pray he actually does something like this. We podcasters would have grist for the mill!

[Equality]

A few years ago, Nelson declared that Mormons own an exclusive license on an emotion that the world has been satanically deceived into believing is experienced by all humans, Joy. Maybe this conference he will choose a different universal human emotion or characteristic to prophetically exclaim the sole property of the corporation sole. I would suggest smugness.