Eat, Pray, Float: A Humorous Take on Drowning Prevention

[Doctor Scratch]

So, while I have no doubt that he's out dining for pleasure, I can't help but wonder if that desire sits on a more or less level playing field with the desire to exact revenge and "stick it" to critics...

This is very difficult, scholarly territory, Doctor. And I could be wrong here. I actually did consider this possibility. I admit that if there is a fourth impulse, or if other impulses are derived from this impulse of revenge, then my research would be overturned, and I would look foolish. The stakes are quite high.

I think the desire to stick it to critics is very serious, but I also think it's a secondary drive, the primary is the drive for notoriety. I think some of his underlings do in fact have revenge and nastiness as a primary drive. A first urge. And I think our subject recognizes that, and recruits based on it. However, I think his own primary urge is notoriety. I really don't think he was looking for a fight in the beginning. I think he was shocked to discover that somebody out there had a different opinion, or believed in a world where he himself wasn't at the center.

One day he thought he was calling a ward house in California, and ended up with a counter-cult ministry on the other end of the line. He didn't know that such things existed until that point, and he was well into adulthood. How dare those people look down on his beliefs? Did they not know about his Phd? Well then, they'd soon be hearing about it.

You present a compelling and persuasive thesis, Dr. Robbers. I am reminded yet again why I am a mere chaired professor, and why you are The Dean. It makes a great deal of sense to interpret the Afore's "career" in this way. If we think clear back to the subject's origin story during his mission, he recounts feeling like a "hero" because his fellow missionaries were recruiting him to come and bash with hostile Christian ministers. Perhaps it was that early jolt of "notoriety" that sent him down the dark path of Mopologetics?

One can easily see how this grew complicated over the years: how there was perhaps a misguided sense that the coveted "notoriety" could be achieved by picking fights, mocking critics, engaging in bullying tactics, and just generally being a vituperative a-hole. To an extent: it worked! That is largely what he's known for--even the descriptor at "SeN" says that he "made his name defending the LDS Church." It explains why the "Comments" sections is mainly filled with people who clearly have an unhealthy bloodlust.

But you can also sense the subject's discomfort with this: an "inner tension," if you will. Yes, God, that craving for "notoriety" is *so* strong! But achieving it in this way? Wouldn't it be better to have notoriety due to being a world traveler? Or a great scholar? Or a gourmand? Or a filmmaker? So, it would seem that a certain level of notoriety has been achieved, but it has come at a cost.

[Moksha]

It explains why the "Comments" section is mainly filled with people who clearly have an unhealthy bloodlust.

The religious urge to be a "good guy" is not for everyone. The Lou Midgley tendency to be a scapper exists even in an otherwise well-behaved group of people.

So, it would seem that a certain level of notoriety has been achieved, but it has come at a cost.

Plenty of members exemplify decency and a drive to be peacemakers. Sometimes you need something that truly stands out to achieve notoriety.

[Gadianton]

To an extent: it worked! That is largely what he's known for--even the descriptor at "SeN" says that he "made his name defending the LDS Church." It explains why the "Comments" sections is mainly filled with people who clearly have an unhealthy bloodlust.

This is a crucial point, and one I actually hadn't thought about. Let's go back to the beginning. In the early years, the youngster asks his mirror, "Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

The mirror replies: "The Afore. The smartest, best liked, athletic -- like a fish in water. Barely has to try. What will you be? A cosmologist, a mathematician, the president, an athlete, musician, or a linguist? You're already almost all them and, young man, you're not even ten!"

The youngster smiles and goes on his way. Up into adulthood the mirror is put to the question and responds roughly the same until one day, the mirror hesitates. That hesitation triggers a fit of apoplectic rage. The mirror is threatened to be broken into a million shards, and so it's forced to explain.

"I'm not saying you aren't all of the above, but I came across this book that talks about your beliefs as a Mormon and, really, God and Mary? How many planets and wives and spirit children? I could barely contain the laughter! I suppose it's compatible with all of these achievements, and you're more or less on track, but I guess, these nutty beliefs just add a humorous dimension. It's hard to explain."

That was a game changer. The Mirror wasn't spoken to for years and years, and when finally it was inquired of again, it responded something to the effect of, "I guess apologetics it is. Who would have seen that coming?"

But the experiences of other apologists with their mirrors was quite different. Do you think Lou ever asked a question like that? Never. Unlike the Afore whose self-assurance defies measurement, most of the senior tier and blog commenters struggle with crippling self-hatred. "Mirror Mirror on the wall, which kid in the class do I have the best chance of pummeling into the ground?"

The mirror replies: "That one kid, barely bigger than you, for now, whose family isn't active. If you get him from behind with all your fury, you stand a chance."

And so Lou attacks his classmate and appreciates the defense the mirror gave him -- yeah, he was inactive. He deserved it. It was for the greater good! Now, Lou wasn't going to replicate that again, being a pip squeak, and so the bullying transitioned from physical to intellectual. Well, except in adulthood, physical provocation yet revealed itself in church, no less, as explained by Dr. Moore.

Sure, Lou was born into money and sees himself as an insider, a member of the aristocracy, fashionably wealthy and deserving, but something is off. Whereas the Afore might not care about the poor, Lou actively despises them. He tried to insult me once by saying that I must "drive a garbage truck" for a living because blue collar work is so unworthy. Even people even in the Church, such as those of Rose Park, should know their place. But he doesn't feel personally important, if that makes sense. He's important because he's from the right family, he's thankful for that, and he's invented a duty to preserve the aristocracy by beating down out-groups.

From there it just gets worse as the self-hatred and personal failures become life consuming. A matter I will not take up here due to space. But to your point, these broken individuals consumed with rage against critics or the inactive, supply the Afore with the words that the mirror eventually failed to provide. The unqualified worship and compliments and loyalty. Well, not quite unqualified, as the worship crescendos as the Afore breaks into insults and darkness. And so even as an apologists, books don't need to be finished because as long as there's a Gemli around to put down, the associates are satisfied.

[Everybody Wang Chung]

You really can't make this stuff up.

The Afore now considers himself a kind of Messianic figure to this young man. And, that due to his heroic actions, the young man decided to make love and sacrifice a part of his own character, in order to show gratitude - much like we show the Savior gratitude for saving us.

RaymondSwenson
4 days ago
I hope that the parents of the young man taught him to show his gratitude for having his life saved by making love and self sacrifice a part of his own character. We are all being saved by Jesus Christ, and he asks us to show our gratitude by rescuing others. (Matthew 25)

Avatar for DanielPeterson
DanielPeterson Mod RaymondSwenson
4 days ago
RaymondSwenson: "I hope that the parents of the young man taught him to show his gratitude for having his life saved by making love and self sacrifice a part of his own character."

I haven't really kept track of him but, knowing his parents (and some other members of his family) reasonably well, I'll bet that they did.