What was Your Mission Like?

[Gabriel]

Yes, I was served guinea pig on occasion and it was delicious. As far as Peruvians being amazing and the food being great, well, meh. They’re humans like us and weren’t any more or less spectacular than anyone else. The food was mid, To be honest. I understood why we were catching the abuse levied on us, and I’m talking about both the church and the Peruvians, but it took its toll… I struggled with feelings of failure for years afterward. It wasn’t until I left the Mormon church ten years later that I realized how much the organization makes a person feel either defeated, or elitist if selected for promotion.

- Doc

Some of the Norwegian dishes I tried were just…spectacularly awful. It’s probably why I’m so food sensitive today.

How about Dutch food? Did you get a chance to try any Dutch dishes in the Netherlands?

[I Have Questions]

Some of the Norwegian dishes I tried were just…spectacularly awful. It’s probably why I’m so food sensitive today.

How about Dutch food? Did you get a chance to try any Dutch dishes in the Netherlands?

I think it may be the autocorrect changing “Dutch” to “Norwegian”

[Nolan]

How about Dutch food? Did you get a chance to try any Dutch dishes in the Netherlands?

Yes yes, I know that I mixed up Netherlands and Norway in two posts. Jeetje!

[malkie]

huckelberry wrote:

By the end of high school I decided I did not think the church was true and stopped all participation upon graduation from HS. No mission, no temple promises, etc.

Thank you for this comment, huckelberry. that's quite an insight that many of us wished we had at that age.

I wonder if perhaps the insight is quite common, but the prospective missionary feels that they simply cannot go against parental and societal expectations. They do not think the church is true, but continue participation after graduation from HS. So they go to their mission in spite of misgivings.

[Xenophon]

I wonder if perhaps the insight is quite common, but the prospective missionary feels that they simply cannot go against parental and societal expectations. They do not think the church is true, but continue participation after graduation from HS. So they go to their mission in spite of misgivings.

I certainly imagine this is true for a lot of folks. Or more specifically it just boils down to their judgement of value.

If I look back on my conversion into and then out of Mormonism I likely was never a real believer in many of the claims of the Church. But the person I was going to marry was a member and honestly the day-to-day wasn't that bad. I wasn't a non-believer and Mormonism seemed as okay a choice as any, especially if it meant staying with my SO. The pros far out weighed the cons. What drives the value assessment is obviously going to vary widely by the individual; whether for acceptance from the in group or specific persons (like your family example here), enjoyment of the service/teachings, or any millions of reasons. But that will often override any intellectual understanding one may have about the "trueness" of the religion.

Eventually that evaluation can shift though, and any perceived value can't counteract the feelings of dissonance.

[huckelberry]

Thank you for this comment, huckelberry. that's quite an insight that many of us wished we had at that age.

I wonder if perhaps the insight is quite common, but the prospective missionary feels that they simply cannot go against parental and societal expectations. They do not think the church is true, but continue participation after graduation from HS. So they go to their mission in spite of misgivings.

I count myself fortunate that my parents were not pressuring me to go on a mission. In fact during my senior year high school I was allowed some Sundays to go to a non-lds church to learn. My parents believed being open to learning was important along with individual thought. They believed learning and personal choice would be a stronger faith foundation than pressure would be. Half of their four children went on missions and were happy with the experience.

I know one friend who went on a mission with a good deal of uncertainty about the church. He completed the mission in a state of uncertainty, finding more solid belief after. He is still active in the church.

[malkie]

I wonder if perhaps the insight is quite common, but the prospective missionary feels that they simply cannot go against parental and societal expectations. They do not think the church is true, but continue participation after graduation from HS. So they go to their mission in spite of misgivings.

I certainly imagine this is true for a lot of folks. Or more specifically it just boils down to their judgement of value.

If I look back on my conversion into and then out of Mormonism I likely was never a real believer in many of the claims of the Church. But the person I was going to marry was a member and honestly the day-to-day wasn't that bad. I wasn't a non-believer and Mormonism seemed as okay a choice as any, especially if it meant staying with my SO. The pros far out weighed the cons. What drives the value assessment is obviously going to vary widely by the individual; whether for acceptance from the in group or specific persons (like your family example here), enjoyment of the service/teachings, or any millions of reasons. But that will often override any intellectual understanding one may have about the "trueness" of the religion.

Eventually that evaluation can shift though, and any perceived value can't counteract the feelings of dissonance.

Seems like we may have had similar experiences. Your description of your experience resonates with me, except that it appears I was more of a believer than you were.

When I was baptized, as a non-member recently married to a true believer, I was a total disbeliever - a story for another day.

I was more surprised than anyone else when, about 3 months later, I stood up and sincerely bore my testimony in F&T meeting.

I was sealed to my (now ex-) wife, served as counselor to a couple of branch presidents, then was called as a branch president. From there I became a counselor in the district/stake presidency. I was known to be on the strict end of the leadership spectrum.

[Xenophon]

Seems like we may have had similar experiences. Your description of your experience resonates with me, except that it appears I was more of a believer than you were.

When I was baptized, as a non-member recently married to a true believer, I was a total disbeliever - a story for another day.

I was more surprised than anyone else when, about 3 months later, I stood up and sincerely bore my testimony in F&T meeting.

I was sealed to my (now ex-) wife, served as counselor to a couple of branch presidents, then was called as a branch president. From there I became a counselor in the district/stake presidency. I was known to be on the strict end of the leadership spectrum.

There certainly is a lot of overlap for us. Even if I was likely never a true believer that didn't stop me from throwing myself 100% into the work. In fact I was likely just compensating for the dissonance I was feeling. Like you I served in leadership in several small branches, there is nothing like the lack of bodies to require you to get in over your head, huh? Later, as my disbelief grew, I pivoted towards more service work when possible. Home teaching shifted more from preaching into doing handyman work or sharing meals (not that it wasn't some of that before, but my priorities were heavily impacted). I kept desperately looking for that value to keep me hanging on as SO just wasn't ready to leave yet.

[malkie]

Seems like we may have had similar experiences. Your description of your experience resonates with me, except that it appears I was more of a believer than you were.

When I was baptized, as a non-member recently married to a true believer, I was a total disbeliever - a story for another day.

I was more surprised than anyone else when, about 3 months later, I stood up and sincerely bore my testimony in F&T meeting.

I was sealed to my (now ex-) wife, served as counselor to a couple of branch presidents, then was called as a branch president. From there I became a counselor in the district/stake presidency. I was known to be on the strict end of the leadership spectrum.

There certainly is a lot of overlap for us. Even if I was likely never a true believer that didn't stop me from throwing myself 100% into the work. In fact I was likely just compensating for the dissonance I was feeling. Like you I served in leadership in several small branches, there is nothing like the lack of bodies to require you to get in over your head, huh?. Later, as my disbelief grew, I pivoted towards more service work when possible. Home teaching shifted more from preaching into doing handyman work or sharing meals (not that it wasn't some of that before, but my priorities were heavily impacted). I kept desperately looking for that value to keep me hanging on as SO just wasn't ready to leave yet.

Home Teaching was a "forcing" issue for me. I was a more than average HT in terms of numbers, but was becoming more and more stressed by it.

After several years of inactivity in a small struggling branch where my wife was still an active and believing member, I felt sorry for the president and asked if there was any non-spiritual way I could help him. He knew both my state of disbelief and my breadth and depth of experience, so I hoped he might ask me to take on some purely admin stuff. Instead, he emailed me to ask if I would accept a HT assignment!

I replied that I would not, and explained why. Imagine a member asks me a question about almost anything. Do you want me to lie, or is it better if I tell them what I really believe? Needless to say, that ended the conversation. He knew I would not lie, and the alternative was not palatable.

I never served a mission, but I supported my son on his, including encouragement when things got tough.

[malkie]

Running this over in my mind, I think I've conflated some events, but I don't think I've done too much violence to the truth.