Cassius University and its faculty

[Gadianton]

Imagine if you worked at 3M but also happened to be a member of a discussion board that discusses the medical profession. Well, 3M makes medical supplies like staplers and removers, clippers, blades, dispensers for oral products and all kinds of items that might get talked about on a medical discussion board, but 3M doesn't really have anything in particular to do with such a board. We wouldn't expect a given medical-related discussion board to have detailed information about the history of the company 3M. Likewise, we wouldn't expect this board, which focuses on Mormonism and occasionally Mopologetics, to have reams of information on a thriving university that happens to have a top-ranked Mopologetics Studies department - a small department, by the way. There are many other departments, and many of them are equally good, if you can imagine that. I mean, Doctor Scratch has published 1559 peer-reviewed scholarly articles in just the last few years, but yeah, the same university has biologists and chemists and music theorists who are just as productive and acclaimed. Not much to do with a Mormon-themed board. Granted, as Dean, I have to deal with the whole enchilada. I won't lie, that does make me really important, and folks like MG should show a little more respect and take such importance seriously.

At the same time, it's really just a coincidence that I happen to have an interest in Mormonism and that I post on this board. I'm sure some 3M executive out there posts on a discussion board where 3M Surgical Clippers get brought up from time to time. A lot of people probably didn't even know 3M makes surgical clippers and likewise, many would be surprised that Cassius even has a Mopologetics Studies program. Honestly, I view this board as an escape from work like anybody else. I feel a little awkward when the University gets brought up -- wow, where does that come from? It was kind of a big surprise that a few faculty members turned out also to post here.

[malkie]

Imagine if you worked at 3M but also happened to be a member of a discussion board that discusses the medical profession. Well, 3M makes medical supplies like staplers and removers, clippers, blades, dispensers for oral products and all kinds of items that might get talked about on a medical discussion board, but 3M doesn't really have anything in particular to do with such a board. We wouldn't expect a given medical-related discussion board to have detailed information about the history of the company 3M. Likewise, we wouldn't expect this board, which focuses on Mormonism and occasionally Mopologetics, to have reams of information on a thriving university that happens to have a top-ranked Mopologetics Studies department - a small department, by the way. There are many other departments, and many of them are equally good, if you can imagine that. I mean, Doctor Scratch has published 1559 peer-reviewed scholarly articles in just the last few years, but yeah, the same university has biologists and chemists and music theorists who are just as productive and acclaimed. Not much to do with a Mormon-themed board. Granted, as Dean, I have to deal with the whole enchilada. I won't lie, that does make me really important, and folks like MG should show a little more respect and take such importance seriously.

At the same time, it's really just a coincidence that I happen to have an interest in Mormonism and that I post on this board. I'm sure some 3M executive out there posts on a discussion board where 3M Surgical Clippers get brought up from time to time. A lot of people probably didn't even know 3M makes surgical clippers and likewise, many would be surprised that Cassius even has a Mopologetics Studies program. Honestly, I view this board as an escape from work like anybody else. I feel a little awkward when the University gets brought up -- wow, where does that come from? It was kind of a big surprise that a few faculty members turned out also to post here.

It makes me ecstatic to have it confirmed - by your esteemed self, no less - that you don't have to share your enchilada.

[Bond]

I've been sharpening pencils and making copies for the profs since 2008 and still am only assistant to the Office Manager. The workload carried by everyone, from the Dean to the barista in the coffee shop who has three doctorates, is brutal. I once banked 194 hours of PTO in one year chasing down research materials and fresh bagels for our esteemed profs.

[malkie]

I've been sharpening pencils and making copies for the profs since 2008 and still am only assistant to the Office Manager. The workload carried by everyone, from the Dean to the barista in the coffee shop who has three doctorates, is brutal. I once banked 194 hours of PTO in one year chasing down research materials and fresh bagels for our esteemed profs.

Thank you, Dr. Bond, for your reminder that even such an august organization as a first-rate university cannot function solely on the efforts of its highest leaders, and those who are in the pubic eye.

Just as we saw at the heights of the COVID pandemic a few years ago, employees toiling in the roles without glamour - cleaning, basic administration, and, yes, even pencil sharpening - are needed. You are to be commended for your dedication. Rest assured that you will have your reward, as you play a vital role in the smooth functioning of the whole.

I'm given to understand that baristas with PhDs are not exactly uncommon, and that there are even some "in the wild" with JDs and DScs. However, it surprises me not at all that the minimum requirements to work in the Cassius coffee shop is multiple advanced degrees.

As for fresh bagels, since you are advancing in years, perhaps you may want to consider taking on a younger apprentice who can not only help with pencil sharpening, but can also gradually take over from you the physically strenuous task of the bagel hunt. I would apply for the position, but unfortunately I am disqualified by age (a little short of Methuselahn years) and by lack of qualifications, being still one course short of my Masters in Operations Research. I will save that sad tale for another day.

[Kishkumen]

Thanks, Rev.

I will revise the negative view I had of Boylan for making this request, as I had assumed that he was, in effect, asking someone to steal the documents for him.

My pleasure, malkie. You have been very generous in sharing your expertise with me, and I remain very grateful for that generosity.

[Kishkumen]

I've been sharpening pencils and making copies for the profs since 2008 and still am only assistant to the Office Manager. The workload carried by everyone, from the Dean to the barista in the coffee shop who has three doctorates, is brutal. I once banked 194 hours of PTO in one year chasing down research materials and fresh bagels for our esteemed profs.

If the Office Manager doesn't get back to their office soon, you may be occupying that office when this person returns from that "extended vacay."

[Kishkumen]

Imagine if you worked at 3M but also happened to be a member of a discussion board that discusses the medical profession. Well, 3M makes medical supplies like staplers and removers, clippers, blades, dispensers for oral products and all kinds of items that might get talked about on a medical discussion board, but 3M doesn't really have anything in particular to do with such a board. We wouldn't expect a given medical-related discussion board to have detailed information about the history of the company 3M. Likewise, we wouldn't expect this board, which focuses on Mormonism and occasionally Mopologetics, to have reams of information on a thriving university that happens to have a top-ranked Mopologetics Studies department - a small department, by the way. There are many other departments, and many of them are equally good, if you can imagine that. I mean, Doctor Scratch has published 1559 peer-reviewed scholarly articles in just the last few years, but yeah, the same university has biologists and chemists and music theorists who are just as productive and acclaimed. Not much to do with a Mormon-themed board. Granted, as Dean, I have to deal with the whole enchilada. I won't lie, that does make me really important, and folks like MG should show a little more respect and take such importance seriously.

At the same time, it's really just a coincidence that I happen to have an interest in Mormonism and that I post on this board. I'm sure some 3M executive out there posts on a discussion board where 3M Surgical Clippers get brought up from time to time. A lot of people probably didn't even know 3M makes surgical clippers and likewise, many would be surprised that Cassius even has a Mopologetics Studies program. Honestly, I view this board as an escape from work like anybody else. I feel a little awkward when the University gets brought up -- wow, where does that come from? It was kind of a big surprise that a few faculty members turned out also to post here.

Another great reminder of why you are the Dean. I well up with pride in dear Cassius every time you expound upon its virtues as a true university.

[Bond]

I've been sharpening pencils and making copies for the profs since 2008 and still am only assistant to the Office Manager. The workload carried by everyone, from the Dean to the barista in the coffee shop who has three doctorates, is brutal. I once banked 194 hours of PTO in one year chasing down research materials and fresh bagels for our esteemed profs.

If the Office Manager doesn't get back to their office soon, you may be occupying that office when this person returns from that "extended vacay."

Why did you guys let her bank 700 hours of PTO before making her take a mandatory vacation? She's been gone since the Fourth of July!

[Kishkumen]

Why did you guys let her bank 700 hours of PTO before making her take a mandatory vacation? She's been gone since the Fourth of July!

The mysteries of higher administration are beyond my ken.

[Bret Ripley]

If the Office Manager doesn't get back to their office soon, you may be occupying that office when this person returns from that "extended vacay."

Why did you guys let her bank 700 hours of PTO before making her take a mandatory vacation? She's been gone since the Fourth of July!

for what it's worth: some of the gardeners were overheard gossiping about the fact that the beginning of her vacation coincided with the disappearance of the cloister gargoyles.