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[Jersey Girl]

You know what I think is so cool, Schmo? And I know I've said similar to this in the past. It's that you and I, who come from different world views, realize that we can connect and relate just as the humans we are. I think much the same way about most of the posters here and that's who I read. People I can learn from or laugh with. I'm really just hanging out when I want to and go around being who I am. I know I'll be doing less of it in the future.

Agreed.

The other thing is that you and I have butted heads over the years, and I can't help but respect someone who can fight when they have to and also acknowledge and respect their opponents. We may disagree again in the future, but I think we are way past the point where I will feel any genuine disrespect for who you are on this board. You are the real deal, as far as I can tell. You're good people.

Butted heads for sure! Whatever you see of me on this board...is me. It's me on the board and me in real life. Life is way too short and I couldn't fake it if I wanted to. And yes, I can throw down when I think it's important to do so. I think the same way about you. I know you're good people, Schmo.

It amuses me when someone accuses posters on this board of using each other for cover, depending on, or siding with each other. They obviously have never seen some of us go directly up against each other and sometimes in pretty nasty no-holds-barred ways! Whew!

People don't have to agree on everything to get along. I think people do have to agree on basic facts and argue in good faith, however, for respect to happen.

Yes. The argument in good faith is where it's at and it's often in short supply around here that is for sure. I don't know why folks avoid it. I don't think they know what it is. I'll state a position and give it my best shot. More often than not I learn something from the other posters. I don't know why some posters are afraid to be wrong. Being wrong helps us refine our positions or change them altogether. I think it might have something to do with truth seeking. Whether you value it or not.

You know what, on the very first board I ever posted on there were mostly atheists, many of whom were ex-LDS. Well this one male poster started up about how there were TWO accounts of creation in Genesis. Know what? He was exactly right about that. I studied them and saw that there were two approaches in those accounts and said so. But my point is that I never realized that there were two accounts and I learned that from an atheist.

[Jersey Girl]

One more comment. If you are a creative like I am, you know good and well that it doesn't spark in a noisy croweded room full of people...or as in the case of the Internet, a head stuffed full of garbage images or chatter.

When you get that time in total solitude, preferrably outdoors...THAT'S when it all starts bubbling up. You take off with an idea, that spurs a flight of ideas, and you just have to do it and keep doing it until you are "done".

That's one of the places I most want to land with all I've said on this thread. I've been creating for weeks now and loving it.

Get rid of the for-profit manipulation and I think you profit mentally, spiritually, and physically as well...and so do the folks around you. I'm pretty sure I have got it right.

For me, getting off the screens and getting out to “touch grass” is very grounding.

Absolutely grounding! One of the ways to get out of a panic attack is by grounding. Putting your bare feet on grass, in dirt, or even on concrete if that's what you have. It helps a LOT.

Yesterday, I walked along the waterfront with my two youngest. The sky was a beautiful blue, and the views were stunning. Looking out at the water and the mountains reminded me of why I live here, and I felt a lightness that I didn’t know I’d been missing.

That's how I feel about the ocean, too. I walk the shoreline with feet in the water. Look out at the expanse of water and somehow it makes me feel, I dunno, protected. I sit on the sand and grieve then go baptize myself by immersion in the Atlantic. I'm happy you got outside and had that experience. Now is a good time for that shared experience for you and yours. It's healing.

I’m pretty sure you have it right, too.

I pretty much know I do!

[Jersey Girl]

[...]
All that being said (or blathered as the case may be), it feels like I'm getting reinforcement for going increasingly unplugged in different ways and from sources, so I'm planning to take even more time offline now. I know it's better for me, I know what nature does for me, what solitude does for me, and what creative interests do for me as well. All good!
[...]

Hi Jersey,

Thank you for taking the time to share some of the things you're doing (and that have inspired you). About 8-ish years ago (I think), I stopped listening to talk radio (namely NPR) during my commute or at the gym, and mainly just listen to music (CDs/MP3s so no advertisements muddying the waters). Occasionally I'll toss on a podcast (Hidden Brain is my favorite), but for the most part I just listen to music. I noticed a near immediate change to my temperament when driving, and reaching my destinations after cutting out talk radio.

Sounds like it keys you up, Steuss. That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about here. I don't listen to much of anything if I don't have to. Stopped watching television decades ago, no car radio not even car music now. I have 3 audiobooks all total. I do watch youtube videos about certain things and I made a playlist for C'mas on Alexa. That's all the things I reall listen to unless I feel like dancing which I do quite a lot actually.

Since then, I try to limit myself to reading the news only once a day, and don't watch any of the network infotainment programs. The amount of time reading the news changes. Sometimes it's maybe 2-5 minutes (just long enough to scan headlines), and sometimes much longer, but I try to never allow it to be more than 30 minutes. I'll do my best to split the time somewhat evenly between international, national, and local topics. If I'm constrained for time, I'll focus on local.

So that keeps you in the loop without getting under your skin or consuming your time, right?

For my daily news, I open up an "incognito" window, and just search "news." It takes my location data, so I get local stuff, but beyond that I don't have to worry about cookies and other things influencing search algorithms to try to give me a curated view of the world to maximize engagement and ad revenue. I've noticed that this method always tends to give me results from different outlets, ranging the spectrum.

I've never tried that. Seems like a good way to get a more balanced view of the news and without the for-profit manipulation that I mentioned!

After that, unless there's something major or breaking that I overhear people talking about, or that I encounter here or on social media, or something my son sends me that he wants to talk about (he's starting to find his own social/political footing, which is pretty awesome to watch), I try my best to just move on through the day.

Well yeah like the day Trump was shot. I wanted to monitor that for sure. First words out of my mouth were..."Did someone hurt him?" I wouldn't have wanted that to happen. That'd probably be a surprise to many here who try to box me up. I can't believe your son is that age now!

I think daily routines are so important. The mundane tasks that we do every day are super grounding and therapeutic. Washing dishes by hand, sweeping floors, poking around putting things in place, washing the car, running errands. All of that. Since I've been sick I can only manage maybe 2 errands in one shot at a time. It does feel good to get out off the house but mostly I am home...and I love it.

For me, this seems to be the balance I've been able to strike between being informed, but also not losing my mind.

You are smarter than I am that is for sure. I think I lost my way on account of the political scene. Steuss I know you are in miserable pain right now. Jersey Boy had to go off his pain meds prior to upcoming surgery and he is right in that situation, too. I've had my own pain due to illness for 2 years now with more trips to the ER that I can count at this point. Not the same kind of pain, but pain nonetheless, and I haven't known a pain free day in two years. I notice how I keep messing up spelling and editing in my posts. That's because my attention is divided between symptoms and trying to make a post. I run out of bandwidth fast.

It's no way to live being in spine pain and having to jump through hoops to get what you need done...done. We're navigating that right now. Calls every day, medical equipment arriving, while trying to get some outside things done around here before surgery day while the weather is on our side. I am absolutely sure you are tired of running the pre-op gauntlet and just want to get on with it! I pray you can get your surgery as soon as possible and that it ultimately brings you the mobility that you want so much!

[Jersey Girl]

For me, getting off the screens and getting out to “touch grass” is very grounding. Yesterday, I walked along the waterfront with my two youngest. The sky was a beautiful blue, and the views were stunning. Looking out at the water and the mountains reminded me of why I live here, and I felt a lightness that I didn’t know I’d been missing.

I’m pretty sure you have it right, too.

We have been hitting the outdoors almost every weekend, either as a family camping event, or small-group multi day backpacking. Winter will cut that back.

We live in a beautiful area and there is so much to explore.

Oh how I envy you, cp! It's SO good for you all to get "out there" together! Isn't it amazing that the best things for us are right there in the natural world? It feeds our senses right up! Lord I would just about kill to go hiking right now or even drive up into the mountains to see the fall color. I get to go somewhere on Saturday...it's my one and only fall "trip" this year. A plant sale at a botanic garden. Not far away and it's the best thing I get to do this fall.

I love thinking that you are modeling outdoor skills. All the preparation, packing in, packing out. Do you practice leave no trace camping? I taught that for 2 decades. So many benefits for all concerned and the confidence building is outstanding!

[Doctor Steuss]

Steuss I know you are in miserable pain right now. Jersey Boy had to go off his pain meds prior to upcoming surgery and he is right in that situation, too. I've had my own pain due to illness for 2 years now with more trips to the ER that I can count at this point. Not the same kind of pain, but pain nonetheless, and I haven't known a pain free day in two years. I notice how I keep messing up spelling and editing in my posts. That's because my attention is divided between symptoms and trying to make a post. I run out of bandwidth fast.

It's no way to live being in spine pain and having to jump through hoops to get what you need done...done. We're navigating that right now. Calls every day, medical equipment arriving, while trying to get some outside things done around here before surgery day while the weather is on our side. I am absolutely sure you are tired of running the pre-op gauntlet and just want to get on with it! I pray you can get your surgery as soon as possible and that it ultimately brings you the mobility that you want so much!

Oh goodness, I am so sorry Jersey.

They had given me a pretty strong pain med that cut the pain, but made me insanely nauseous and sweat like crazy, so I had to stop after about 5 days. The current pain med just barely cuts the pain, but after I threw up all over myself on the way to work, I knew the stronger one just wasn't a viable option, so it's kind of a trade-off -- minimal pain relief, but feel "normal." I've got a pair of epidurals scheduled for next Wednesday, so hoping that brings some relief, and then my MRI is in three weeks (as I progressively lose more and more feeling and ability to walk... hooray for the medical system). After that, we'll probably need a nerve conductivity test, but hopefully from there we can get the ball rolling on a spinal fusion.

Hoping that you are able to find some relief. Constant pain is such a hard thing to managed emotionally/mentally. Especially in those moments where you allow yourself to not just focus on the day at hand, but start dwelling on the future of "this is my life."

Sending all of the positive vibes into the universe for insurance and pre-op stuff to move quickly and efficiently for Jersey Boy, and that everything is a success.

[canpakes]

Do you practice leave no trace camping? I taught that for 2 decades. So many benefits for all concerned and the confidence building is outstanding!

100%. If we are camping, it’s usually with another family, and just before we hit the road back out we’ll gather the kids and all spread out on a litter hunt. Our aim is to leave the site better looking than we found it.

If backpacking, we’re prepared with three options for ‘the inevitable’: either layered ziplocks, wag bags and the ‘e tool’. This year, we’ve only trekked into areas that allow cat holes, but it’s never a bad idea to be prepared with the other two options. And no TP needed when carrying a bidet.

That’s a bit TMI, but you did ask. : D

[Jersey Girl]

Steuss I know you are in miserable pain right now. Jersey Boy had to go off his pain meds prior to upcoming surgery and he is right in that situation, too. I've had my own pain due to illness for 2 years now with more trips to the ER that I can count at this point. Not the same kind of pain, but pain nonetheless, and I haven't known a pain free day in two years. I notice how I keep messing up spelling and editing in my posts. That's because my attention is divided between symptoms and trying to make a post. I run out of bandwidth fast.

It's no way to live being in spine pain and having to jump through hoops to get what you need done...done. We're navigating that right now. Calls every day, medical equipment arriving, while trying to get some outside things done around here before surgery day while the weather is on our side. I am absolutely sure you are tired of running the pre-op gauntlet and just want to get on with it! I pray you can get your surgery as soon as possible and that it ultimately brings you the mobility that you want so much!

Oh goodness, I am so sorry Jersey.

Thanks. It's just how it is.

They had given me a pretty strong pain med that cut the pain, but made me insanely nauseous and sweat like crazy, so I had to stop after about 5 days.

That's horrid! I had to get shot up with morphine I guess it was earlier this year. I've lost track of how many ER trips, testing, etc. When I had morphine years ago post op I thought it was a gift from God. Not this year. We got home (the story is up in SSP buried in an ongoing thread I made) and I figured I'll just go get a cup of tea and go to sleep. Uh no. Started to make the tea, put the cup down somewhere, felt like the life force drained out of me. Got as far as the kitchen table only steps away. Sat down with my face on the table in a cold sweat ready to toss my cookies. Hubs said he never saw me so sick and that my face turned gray. Pain meds are great when they work but when they result in symptoms like you got it's a study in incapacitation. Those of us who like to be awake and aware can't have that.

The current pain med just barely cuts the pain, but after I threw up all over myself on the way to work, I knew the stronger one just wasn't a viable option, so it's kind of a trade-off -- minimal pain relief, but feel "normal."

Yeah see that. It's so hard to find a balance. I totally get that you want to feel normal and not disconnected and hurling in the car.

Steuss would Toradol help you? I got that shot up with that this year, too. Takes a while to kick in but it helped. Put me at ease, didn't mess with my head, and no nausea.

I've got a pair of epidurals scheduled for next Wednesday, so hoping that brings some relief, and then my MRI is in three weeks (as I progressively lose more and more feeling and ability to walk... hooray for the medical system). After that, we'll probably need a nerve conductivity test, but hopefully from there we can get the ball rolling on a spinal fusion.

I don't think I'll be here on Wednesday but if you get a chance, post about how the epidural went and if it helped. I'll look back in here when I come up for air post surgery which is Thursday. Fusion is difficult, Steuss. The key for my husband was staying on top of pain meds and move as much as is possible. They'll teach you how to get around with a walker, use the bathroom and shower.

Walker, raised toilet seat 5 inches with handle bars, shower seat, get 2 grabbers in case you drop one, beside table you can bring near the bed*, tons of pillows maybe one with a wedge. Insurance might pay for something otherwise, just do Walmart they have everything you need.<--That's the basic inventory.

*Mainstays makes a folding table that has enough space on one side to drag over to the bed. You can get a walker carry all thing on Amazon for cheap that attaches to it with velcro to carry your tablet, phone, whatever.

Hoping that you are able to find some relief. Constant pain is such a hard thing to managed emotionally/mentally. Especially in those moments where you allow yourself to not just focus on the day at hand, but start dwelling on the future of "this is my life."

That is the truth! Over here we're both dealing with pain just different kinds. All I know is this guy can't fall. I could break his fall last summer but not sure if I could do it this surgery...adrenaline goes a long way though! Your spine thing isn't going to be your life forever I don't think. You'll have good PT and with your background as a lifter I know you'll do well with that. For me I've decided that if this is my life forever then it just IS. I am more well now than I have been for the past 2 years and I never lose hope though I have been known in darker moments to admit in prayer "Lord I'm at mustard seed right now."

Sending all of the positive vibes into the universe for insurance and pre-op stuff to move quickly and efficiently for Jersey Boy, and that everything is a success.

Thanks! I really appreciate it, Steuss! Check on Toradol.

[Jersey Girl]

Do you practice leave no trace camping? I taught that for 2 decades. So many benefits for all concerned and the confidence building is outstanding!

100%. If we are camping, it’s usually with another family, and just before we hit the road back out we’ll gather the kids and all spread out on a litter hunt. Our aim is to leave the site better looking than we found it.

If backpacking, we’re prepared with three options for ‘the inevitable’: either layered ziplocks, wag bags and the ‘e tool’. This year, we’ve only trekked into areas that allow cat holes, but it’s never a bad idea to be prepared with the other two options. And no TP needed when carrying a bidet.

That’s a bit TMI, but you did ask. : D

I've taught and dug my fair share of cat holes. I could tell you stories but I don't have the bandwidth or time right now. I just knew you'd do minimal impact. Walk softly and leave no trace of your having been there.

[Jersey Girl]

One more post from me for now then I have to dip for a while.

I took the whole weekend off from the internet except for one youtuber I love so much and one job I am obligated to do for something on Facebook. I think I did look in here twice total from a logged out position. Only a few seconds then out again.

We've been hauling a$$ to get outside things done because when the Boy recovers to the point of good mobility it'll be snowing here. I personally went into beast mode yesterday. Anyway...this is what I noticed about pulling my head out. I'm going somewhere with this I hope...

1. Peace in my very soul.

2. I didn't really think about the internet much at all.

3. Immersed myself in the painting projects that I'm working on for a sale I have in early November.

4. Went around walking in a certain spot on the property picking up pieces of dried broken old wood. Best not to ask why. Okay fine, I can paint them up into rustic Santas. Happy now? Have done that before and I also got some "pumpkin stems" on my little journey. Stuff goes on in my head.

5. Gathered up more random items and passed them on to neighbors on Buy Nothing.

6. I was far more focused and productive than I have been when it was only Sunday offline.

7. Formed a good strategy for achieving a balance between things I need to do and things I want to do. It works!

8. I didn't return emails, Facebook messages except for immediate family, text messages don't think I returned messages here because I don't recall ever logging in to see them.

9. The online world seemed to fade into the background while real life emerged and I loved it.

10. Life slowed down in my head. Didn't feel rushed about anything.

11. Went on my solo trip up near Denver to visit a special garden event with one of my kids. My one and only good fall thing I'll get to do this year. It went well!

12. Can't go to the pumpkin farm we go to for pumpkins this year. Cleaned out the front garden bed, put down some soil and new mulch, then ordered some small fresh pumpkins from Walmart and put them out. It's a win:win for me and the deer.

So...all positive with some trade offs on things I wanted to do (God grant me the serenity) and I'm good with it. The time away from the online world was SO good for me.

Sorry if this all seems random. I'd say more but not going to bore anyone here with more details.

All of this led to decisions. The minimalists who I let indoctrinate me, the time away from the Internet, the kind of "prompting" I've been sensing to Log Off from very different sources not to mention observing my own irritation levels when I'm exposed to the virtual world especially the political for-profit theater.

Decisions...

Continue to selectively and intentionally Log Off for longer periods of time.

Go deeper into my real life. It's where I want to be.

Continue to put the brakes on in terms of online things I feel obliged to do.

Decided this very day that I'm giving up membership in the art organization. No more sales, no more running their business Facebook account. I started creating the off ramp for that last November, it's all set up, and now I'm going to use it.

The Why...

Joshua Becker (minimalist guru) says that when we release the clutter in our lives we make room for things that really matter to us and only when you declutter your life can you identify what really matters to you as an individual.

He's not just talking about old "stuff" you have kicking around the house. He's talking about decluttering your whole LIFE and that includes social media exposure and even some of our relationships.

I listen to another minimalist influencer as well. But no one resonates with me quite like Joshua Becker. He knows who Thoreau is and that was his ticket into my head.

What really matters to me...

God
Family
Friends
Nature
Home
Creativity
Community
Health

Not gonna lie here. You all know I swear. It's my native language. Last week I was so keyed up, anxious, angry, feeling boxed in that I found "God DAMN it" and "Jesus damned Christ" coming out of my mouth several times every single day. For me, that's off the charts (I rarely ever say that) type of swearage. That's evidence of me about to lose my crap entirely.

I don't want that. I want the fruits of the spirit to grow and thrive in me. I want it ALL. What I haven't said on this thread (because it's scattered all over my thread in SSP) is that the Lord has been planting seeds in me for the past 2 years while I've been ill. He showed up in my life in ways that I could have never imagined. So far as I am concerned he's been refining me.

I want that.

I lack self control. And I know that can change if I get all the online stuff out of my headspace and give it space to grow. I just don't want to fall for the "hooks" that the internet pushes in front of me on a daily basis with the political scene...it's too much and it's toxic. I'm not interested in voluntarily letting it beat me up mentally any more.

Anyway...I'm babbling at this point. I'll wrap it up. I'm going to be away from here on account of surgery. Perfect time to go deeper into Logging Off.

And I don't know where my phone is again.

So whatever I said here is whatever I said. Catch you guys on the flip flop.

You got the Jersey Devil* Down and on the Side!



I got the papers to prove that was my CB handle. Don't mess with me.

[Res Ipsa]

That was good babble!