When my ex-wife was baptized, I had a fellow ward member ask me if I was going to baptize her. I let them know I was agnostic (I likely said "I'm one of those rascally unbelieving heathens"). They replied, "yeah, I know, but does the bishop?"malkie wrote: ↑Wed Oct 08, 2025 5:09 pmWhen my son was planning his temple wedding, I had been totally inactive and somewhat critical of the church for about 10 years. I was completely taken aback by the number of members who said things like: "Come on, malkie - you know the answers to the TR questions. Just tell the bishop & stake president what they need to hear."
I could easily have done it and not felt "bad" in a religious sense, because I didn't believe any of the church teachings. But I just could not sit there in front of these men and deliberately lie my head off.
And so I waited at the temple for the wedding party to finish all of the "inside" stuff.
I had non-member colleagues who were more than a little surprised when I told them that I was considered not worthy to attend my son's wedding, but I would not have expected any of them to suggest that I lie to be admitted.
Floored me.
Incidentally, the bishop pulled me into the hallway before the baptism and confirmation, and asked me several orthopraxy questions. He (I believe purposefully) didn't ask me a single orthodoxy question. After I answered the questions, he said, "as you and your wife's bishop, I believe you should be part of the confirmation." Was kind of cool. Same bishop officiated over our civil wedding. I spoke to him beforehand, and let him know that my mother-in-law, one of the maids of honor (a man), and several in attendance were gay, and we would prefer he keep that in mind. No mention of the Family Proclamation, or anything of the like (keep in mind, this wasn't long after the "revelation" baring children of gay parents from the Church).
I'm often left in amazement at how fortunate I was at multiple times in my life in the bishop lottery.
(My apologies to drumdude if my random walk down memory lane is a derailment.)