The Bednar Dog and Pony Show

[Shulem]

If you enroll in the $1000 a Month Tithe Club we will send you a free magazine subscription!

Which richly illustrates and fully explains with step by step easy to understand instructions on how to make the best of 50 exciting missionary positions! You'll never be bored again as you explore new ways on how to spread gospel seed with your fellow missionary companions. These Church approved techniques fully demonstrate how to make the best of every moment when in a missionary position and promises to provide results that give full satisfaction for all those who participate in these inspiring joyful programs.

It's a labor of love!

[Bought Yahoo]

Ptolemy. Sorry.

Ur welcome to repeat urself as often as you like, dummy.

Feels good, doesn't go it, calling people names?

That's all you have. You and AtlMike are so similar.

[Shulem]

Ur welcome to repeat urself as often as you like, dummy.

Feels good, doesn't go it, calling people names?

That's all you have. You and AtlMike are so similar.

The name perfectly fits you in saying the king's name in Facsimile No. 3 is Ptolemy. That is dumbness. That is dumb. Therefore, you are dumb. You are welcome to prove otherwise if you think you can. Or you can continue to grunt and moan like a dummy because you're dumb.

[Shulem]

We Believe in Being Chaste

Obedience to the law of chastity will increase our happiness in mortality and make possible our progress in eternity.

Bednar's statement makes TWO implications:

1) IF you obey the law of chastity you will be happier in this life
2) IF you obey the law of chastity it will become possible to progress in eternity

On the flip side here are the results of disobeying the law of chastity:

1) IF you disobey the law of chastity it will decrease the happiness you may have in this life
2) IF you disobey the law of chastity it will NOT be possible to progress in eternity

In other words those who disobey the law of chastity in this life and fail to repent are DAMNED for eternity whereby it is impossible to "progress in eternity"!

Be sure to check out more silly Mormon doctrine in a safe place up in the Celestial Forum here on Discuss Mormonism:

That Same Spirit

Fear God and Fear the Church!!

[Bought Yahoo]

Ptolemy I is the name of the king, matey.

[Shulem]

Ptolemy I is the name of the king, matey.

Oh goody, you've come back! My favorite dummy.

Give Shulem a little kiss. Then tell me the king's name again. Doesn't that sound romantic?

[Bought Yahoo]

Are you shure you're not Mike? Telling me to bend over?

[drumdude]

Do we need to know the name of the King to get into super VIP heaven? Or are the handshakes enough?

[Philo Sofee]

Do we need to know the name of the King to get into super VIP heaven? Or are the handshakes enough?

Nope. Handshakes, Milkshakes, AND King's names MUST be included as per the instructions for VIP heaven.

[huckelberry]

shulem, for those of us with only a vague idea of Bednar and do not know what sort of show he might be putting on can you help us , or me anyway, , What is this that you are talking about?