Great limerick Schmo, but total wives tale. I survived a 2 year mission with only having to confess to the MP once. I did however come home, have an episode of near sex with the first female I saw, that was near enough to cause me to fear I must marry her or go to hell for eternity, and then spent the next six years wondering why God thought my one true soulmate needed to be the stupidest human in existence. But, yeah. Wives tale.
All the more reason to get to know a woman before having sex with her. Seriously, you managed to sleep with the stupidest human in existence? no offense, but surely you were equally stupid. I mean, logic just dictates that, right?
Alternatively, maybe her boobs were just massive. Or she was really, really CUTE. (stupid, but CUTE.) or had a sweet pussy. Or was REALLY fuckable. Because that's why you marry a woman, right? But yeah. Wives tale.
On the other hand, we could just speak about humans as though they were human, regardless of gender. What a thought.
There once was this strange Ajax kid
You wouldn't believe what he did
He left himself loaded
Until he exploded
It only he'd just milked his squid
(It actually wasn't about ajax, but another poster talking about the evils of masturbation... the point is you can replace the name with anybody, as long as their name has 2 syllables).
I don't know if it fits this thread, but the limerick makes me laugh, so there it is.
Great limerick Schmo, but total wives tale. I survived a 2 year mission with only having to confess to the MP once. I did however come home, have an episode of near sex with the first female I saw, that was near enough to cause me to fear I must marry her or go to hell for eternity, and then spent the next six years wondering why God thought my one true soulmate needed to be the stupidest human in existence. But, yeah. Wives tale.
I've read your response a couple times now and I'm still not clear what wives' tale my limerick is telling. I guess I've never heard the "if you don't masturbate you will blow up" wives' tale.
What I will say, however, is that in my youth, when I tried (idiotically) to abstain from masturbating, it was a lot easier to wet dream. "Exploded" is a metaphor in this poem.
Religion is for people whose existential fear is greater than their common sense.
I've read your response a couple times now and I'm still not clear what wives' tale my limerick is telling. I guess I've never heard the "if you don't masturbate you will blow up" wives' tale.
I was just referring to the silly notion that if one doesn't have release one could go blind. I got that from the movie 'Paint your wagon'. Lee Marvin's character shows a young Morm boy the ways of the world.
Nobody gets to be a cowboy forever. - Lee Marvin/Monte Walsh
All the more reason to get to know a woman before having sex with her. Seriously, you managed to sleep with the stupidest human in existence? no offense, but surely you were equally stupid. I mean, logic just dictates that, right?
Alternatively, maybe her boobs were just massive. Or she was really, really CUTE. (stupid, but CUTE.) or had a sweet pussy. Or was REALLY fuckable. Because that's why you marry a woman, right? But yeah. Wives tale.
On the other hand, we could just speak about humans as though they were human, regardless of gender. What a thought.
So Lem, it appears to me you've missed the point and decided the honor of all women is at stake just because I called my first wife an idiot. Maybe you weren't raised Morm, or maybe you forgot. Some people do do stupid things. Things that seem stupid to us now, and to outsiders. They do them out of fear of eternal damnation, because they were brainwashed with it from the moment of their birth.
Schmo brought up the deadly sin of M. I related a personal experience.
If one takes young men at the height of their sexual maturity, convince them that certain sins carry heavy penalty. Force them to be celibate for two years. Including M. Council them to marry immediately upon return home. Yeah, you're gonna get some couples that are maybe not a good fit to spend eternity together ...because the guy was more focused on tits and pussy instead of the cerebral connection. Just to be clear then. Faulty parties; Dantana, human biology/evolution, Morm beliefs. Not at fault for Dantana humping her leg; The woman.
Nobody gets to be a cowboy forever. - Lee Marvin/Monte Walsh
I was just referring to the silly notion that if one doesn't have release one could go blind. I got that from the movie 'Paint your wagon'. Lee Marvin's character shows a young Morm boy the ways of the world.
Ah, see, I've heard the opposite. Masturbation will make you go blind. Also it will make hair grow on your palms.
I can only attest to the first one. My eyesight sucks these days.
Religion is for people whose existential fear is greater than their common sense.
So Lem, it appears to me you've missed the point and decided the honor of all women is at stake just because I called my first wife an idiot. Maybe you weren't raised Morm, or maybe you forgot.
I am not by any means the first person you have told how it is that they feel, and why they feel it, nor will I be the last, I suspect. You have even told everyone here, all at once, what they feel and why they feel it, so I don't feel singled out at all! Your powers of un-knowing are becoming legendary. I even put my meaning in my final sentence but maybe you missed it.
On the other hand, we could just speak about humans as though they were human, regardless of gender. What a thought.
I was just referring to the silly notion that if one doesn't have release one could go blind. I got that from the movie 'Paint your wagon'. Lee Marvin's character shows a young Morm boy the ways of the world.
Ah, see, I've heard the opposite. Masturbation will make you go blind. Also it will make hair grow on your palms.
I can only attest to the first one. My eyesight sucks these days.
But you're not blind yet? Maybe you're not doing it right.....
So Lem, it appears to me you've missed the point and decided the honor of all women is at stake just because I called my first wife an idiot. Maybe you weren't raised Morm, or maybe you forgot.
I am not by any means the first person you have told how it is that they feel, and why they feel it, nor will I be the last, I suspect. You have even told everyone here, all at once, what they feel and why they feel it, so I don't feel singled out at all! Your powers of un-knowing are becoming legendary. I even put my meaning in my final sentence but maybe you missed it.
On the other hand, we could just speak about humans as though they were human, regardless of gender. What a thought.
See, this is exactly what I was talking about, in reference to the church mandated 2 week dating cycle before marriage. Witness, our first few interactions on here were friendly, so I was thinking we were liking each other, and was going to pop the question. But now look at us. On a path toward mutually assured dispisal.
Nobody gets to be a cowboy forever. - Lee Marvin/Monte Walsh
See, this is exactly what I was talking about, in reference to the church mandated 2 week dating cycle before marriage. Witness, our first few interactions on here were friendly, so I was thinking we were liking each other, and was going to pop the question. But now look at us. On a path toward mutually assured dispisal.
I don't dispisal you. On the other hand, dispisaling someone non-mutually will make you go blind. I think Some Schmo told me that.
I am not by any means the first person you have told how it is that they feel, and why they feel it, nor will I be the last, I suspect. You have even told everyone here, all at once, what they feel and why they feel it, so I don't feel singled out at all! Your powers of un-knowing are becoming legendary. 
