1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaining

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_just me
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Re: 1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaini

Post by _just me »

Replace the sacramental water with wine...and use larger cups.
~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden
~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
_Fence Sitter
_Emeritus
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Re: 1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaini

Post by _Fence Sitter »

just me wrote:Stand up and start speaking in tongues in the middle of the High Counselor's talk.


And then ask him to interpret it when you are done.
"Any over-ritualized religion since the dawn of time can make its priests say yes, we know, it is rotten, and hard luck, but just do as we say, keep at the ritual, stick it out, give us your money and you'll end up with the angels in heaven for evermore."
_just me
_Emeritus
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Re: 1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaini

Post by _just me »

Squirt guns
~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden
~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
_just me
_Emeritus
Posts: 9070
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2010 9:46 pm

Re: 1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaini

Post by _just me »

Darth: Best.Thread.EVER!
~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden
~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
_brade
_Emeritus
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Re: 1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaini

Post by _brade »

Darth J wrote:Explain in gospel doctrine that Heavenly Father guided evolution to the point where there were creatures on this Earth that had homo sapiens bodies in every respect, but they had spirits inside that were ever so slightly different than human spirits, and then Heavenly Father inspired two of these non-human spirits in homo sapiens bodies to mate, but He and Heavenly Mother implanted their own gametes into the respective testes and ovaries of the human bodies of the non-human spirits, and then caused human spirits to be born into the human bodies that were the issue of this inspired mating, and then God made these first two human spirits in human bodies immortal unless they ate fruit that made them understand the difference between good and evil, and that is how evolution is perfectly compatible with official LDS doctrine.


Image
_Drifting
_Emeritus
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Re: 1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaini

Post by _Drifting »

Get bcspace to rewrite "Mormon Doctrine".
“We look to not only the spiritual but also the temporal, and we believe that a person who is impoverished temporally cannot blossom spiritually.”
Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric

"One, two, three...let's go shopping!"
Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
_schreech
_Emeritus
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Re: 1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaini

Post by _schreech »

Visual aids (during chastity talks and lessons).
"your reasoning that children should be experimented upon to justify a political agenda..is tantamount to the Nazi justification for experimenting on human beings."-SUBgenius on gay parents
"I've stated over and over again on this forum and fully accept that I'm a bigot..." - ldsfaqs
_just me
_Emeritus
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Re: 1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaini

Post by _just me »

Chastity belts...and keys.
~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden
~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
_schreech
_Emeritus
Posts: 2470
Joined: Tue May 25, 2010 3:49 pm

Re: 1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaini

Post by _schreech »

warren jeffs or ron lafferty as guest speakers...
"your reasoning that children should be experimented upon to justify a political agenda..is tantamount to the Nazi justification for experimenting on human beings."-SUBgenius on gay parents
"I've stated over and over again on this forum and fully accept that I'm a bigot..." - ldsfaqs
_schreech
_Emeritus
Posts: 2470
Joined: Tue May 25, 2010 3:49 pm

Re: 1-Sentence Suggestions to Make the LDS Church Entertaini

Post by _schreech »

licked cupcakes....
"your reasoning that children should be experimented upon to justify a political agenda..is tantamount to the Nazi justification for experimenting on human beings."-SUBgenius on gay parents
"I've stated over and over again on this forum and fully accept that I'm a bigot..." - ldsfaqs
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