To me this isn't necessarily an issue of me having done something worth of church court. It is an issue of doing what I should be doing. Would God rather have me favor that the government should get out of marriage altogether, or would He rather have me favor that the government protect marriage as between a man and a woman?
God isn't going to tell you what to do. Either there is no God or he prefers to remain silent.
You're just going to have to decide, on your own, which course you feel best about.
I had a similar dilemma during the ERA incident. My home ward was in a target state, and we were constantly exhorted to be politically active in order to oppose passage of the amendment. The church arranged bus trips to DC to protest, and devoted "homemaker meetings" to getting the sisters to all sit down and write letters to our congressman - giving us a script but telling us to deviate enough from the script so it didn't sound scripted.
I was a fully active believer at the time. I had struggled with the ERA issue ever since I joined the church at 19. I did everything I could to try to intellectually and spiritual resolve it by somehow coming to agree with the church on the issue.
I just couldn't.
I resolved it by not getting involved at all. I didn't participate in the homemaking meetings, I didn't go on the bus trips. I didn't write to my congressman. But I also did not actively oppose the church's opposition.
I just remained silent.
During this time period, I also didn't vote. I knew what the church leaders wanted us to think about politics, as much as they danced around it. But I could not bring my conscience around to their viewpoint. So my solution was to not participate at all.
I'm not saying it was the best solution. But I do believe that following the counsel of the leaders in these incidents would NOT have brought me happiness and peace. I had already tried to reconcile myself to their teachings and simply could not. So doing nothing was the best solution I could come up with.
Oh, and by the way, I wasn't associating with apostates. My own mind, my own thinking, was the problem. That's your problem, asbman. You're thinking. You're just going to have to decide whether the cost of your thinking is worth it.