Sam Harris wrote:But I know my worth now, no thanks to attitudes like that above. I found spiritually strong people to teach me, not people who thought about how my kids were going to be damaged (my kids will have one hell of a mother thank you, because ever since I was a kid I've vowed to give them what I did not have!). Goodness...
YOU SEE? YOU are an example of a survivor who has successfully dealt with her past and is therefore A-O.K. in the marriage department.
Now, let's contrast that with a survivor who has NOT successfully dealt with her past. Let's say she breaks down crying at random times for no reason. Let's say she's running up huge bills for frequent trips to the psychologist. Let's say she has a deep-seated revulsion to intimacy. THAT would be an example of someone who ought to disclose her issues to her potential husband, since such things will have a practical impact on his life as well.
BOTH are examples of survivors. NEITHER of them are "damaged goods." NEITHER of them are any less virtuous than anyone else. NEITHER of them are any less worthy of God's love (assuming God exists).
The only problem is when a man mistakenly assumes that abuse in one's past equals the latter, and cannot equal the former. IT'S NOT THAT SHE IS "DAMAGED GOODS," it's just that he is ignorant of just what the consequences of abuse are, or that (as Moniker implied) abuse survivors can, and do, overcome the past.
Going by some of the assumptions on here, I'm supposed to be biting myself and abusing kids...
I REALLY DOUBT THAT THOSE ASSUMPTIONS EXIST IN THIS THREAD. When various males here have asserted their right to "pass" on someone with abuse issues, they're merely asserting their right to "pass" on survivors in the
latter category--the unhealed one. They're not castigating survivors in the
former category--the healed one--such as yourself.
Am I making any sense?
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"
--Louis Midgley