Jason Bourne wrote:
As I noted different strokes for different folks but this seems a little loosey goosey for me.
But ya know I have been on my own since 21. Married at 22 two kids at 25 and paying and me and my wife paying our own way. Of course I was a stupid LDS kid that thought being married before I started sleeping with my lover meant something. We scratched our way through college while raising a family and so on.
I admit is does sound loosey goosey but it works for me. If you think I've and my husband have partied all our lives you are mistaken. Just because I said he smokes grass since I've known him and we drink doesn't mean we are perpetually drunk or him stoned. I got married at 21, my husband at 23. He paid for his entire university education...part of how he paid for it was by selling grass to fellow students, but he did work weekends in a research lab as well. We've never received anything from either set of parents, no help financially whatsoever. He's worked from a young age virtually non stop. Became a top executive in a multinational company. Retired early. I graduated from university while married to him and when the kids were young.
A 25 year old at home, sleeping with his woman under mom and dad's roof while mom and dad pay for college, food a car and insurance seem well, over indulging someone who it seems to me ought to be picking up some of his own way in life by now. But many parent seem to in my opinion only, over indulge their young adult kids these days. But hey like I said, that is just me. If it works for them and everyone is happy camper terrific. I may be the one with hang the hang ups. Maybe marg's way is better.
You don't know the background, that my husband rarely spent time with the kids as they grew up,due to demanding job and traveling. I'm the boss when it comes to them. My son was born with imperforated anus. In addition when he was about 10 via research at a university library I learned he had developmental coordination disorder affecting fine motor skills which he hasn't grown out of. You don't know what both of those entail, nor the affects on esteem, social life, schooling, job prospects etc. I knew at the time he was 10 he was high risk for depression, anti-social behavior, dropping out of school, withdrawal etc. Nor do you know his fiance was hit by a car before they met, was in a coma for months, developed flesh eating disease on one leg. Is still having operations on her leg, one just done last month and currently can't work or take courses. Everybody is unique. I don't go by rules or social convention.