Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

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_Nomomo
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Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

Post by _Nomomo »

ImageImage

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs


ANCHORAGE (The Borowitz Report) – Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin told reporters today that she would not run for President because “I want to go straight to the quitting part.”

“If I launched a campaign, let’s face it, a couple of months from now I’d up and quit,” she said. “This is a real step-saver for all concerned.”

She said that prior to her decision she had seriously considered running, “but only for the free clothes.”

When asked about her future plans, she said, “Although I’m not running for President, I have no intention of spending more time with my family.”

The former Alaska Governor, who had originally scheduled a thirty-minute press conference to announce her decision, abruptly cut it short after fifteen minutes with no explanation.

The Tea Party favorite’s announcement leaves the remaining Republican candidates scrambling for the moron vote, a key constituency in the 2012 GOP race.

Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was said to be considering new strategies to dispel the nagging impression that he is mentally competent, an attribute that has alienated millions of Tea Party voters.


Mr. Romney was rumored to be weighing a number of options, such as barking like a dog or wearing a bunch of bananas on his head at the next televised debate.
http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/10/05/palins-decides-not-to-run-i-want-to-go-straight-to-the-quitting-part/
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_bcspace
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Re: Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

Post by _bcspace »

See? Even a moron is smarter than a liberal.
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_Buffalo
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Re: Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

Post by _Buffalo »

Someone said something about the moron vote and bcspace was the first to pop his head up. :D
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_Droopy
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Re: Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

Post by _Droopy »

Apparently, this Nomomo will now be out new resident Michael Moore, now that the past designee of that dubious distinction, "Red" Kevin Graham, has been absent long enough for Nomomo to make a play for the throne.

The crisis continues...
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_Buffalo
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Re: Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

Post by _Buffalo »

The most "red" person mentioned in this thread is Sarah Palin herself.
Parley P. Pratt wrote:We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.
_Some Schmo
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Re: Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

Post by _Some Schmo »

Nomomo wrote:ImageImage

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs


ANCHORAGE (The Borowitz Report) – Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin told reporters today that she would not run for President because “I want to go straight to the quitting part.”

“If I launched a campaign, let’s face it, a couple of months from now I’d up and quit,” she said. “This is a real step-saver for all concerned.”

She said that prior to her decision she had seriously considered running, “but only for the free clothes.”

When asked about her future plans, she said, “Although I’m not running for President, I have no intention of spending more time with my family.”

The former Alaska Governor, who had originally scheduled a thirty-minute press conference to announce her decision, abruptly cut it short after fifteen minutes with no explanation.

The Tea Party favorite’s announcement leaves the remaining Republican candidates scrambling for the moron vote, a key constituency in the 2012 GOP race.

Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was said to be considering new strategies to dispel the nagging impression that he is mentally competent, an attribute that has alienated millions of Tea Party voters.


Mr. Romney was rumored to be weighing a number of options, such as barking like a dog or wearing a bunch of bananas on his head at the next televised debate.

Hehehe... awesome.

I'm sure that Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann will fight furiously and valiantly over the moron vote with Palin out of the picture.
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_Nomomo
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Re: Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

Post by _Nomomo »

Droopy wrote:Apparently, this Nomomo will now be out new resident Michael Moore, now that the past designee of that dubious distinction, "Red" Kevin Graham, has been absent long enough for Nomomo to make a play for the throne.

The crisis continues...
You're frickin' wierd dude.
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_Droopy
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Re: Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

Post by _Droopy »

I'm sure you're right.
Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father [in Heaven] and how familiar his face is to us

- President Ezra Taft Benson


I am so old that I can remember when most of the people promoting race hate were white.

- Thomas Sowell
_richardMdBorn
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Re: Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

Post by _richardMdBorn »

_Nomomo
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Re: Palin Decides Not to Run ~ Moron Vote Up for Grabs

Post by _Nomomo »

bcspace wrote:See? Even a moron is smarter than a liberal.
At least you can admit Palin is a moron. Now, when you can see that Bachmann, Perry, Cain and Christie are also you will be on your way.
The Universe is stranger than we can imagine.
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