Head, Shoulders, Knees, and "Oh!": The Afore's Dark BYU Basement Mystery

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Tom
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Re: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and "Oh!": The Afore's Dark BYU Basement Mystery

Post by Tom »

Tom wrote:
Thu Jan 08, 2026 9:07 pm
Proprietor wrote:I took my time with my hands.
That’s unfortunate phrasing. (I understand that the BYU library places books containing similar verbiage in a locked case.) I strongly recommend that the Proprietor remove or heavily edit this sentence before he publishes the story for the public to read.

Like others, I am left wondering why the young Proprietor did not say a word during his physical encounter with another BYU student.

To be candid, I haven’t read anything so curious from the Proprietor since a friend called my attention to a recent post of his titled “Memories of President Jeffrey R. Holland.” (The Proprietor’s breathless account of muttering an apocryphal Galileo saying in defiance of an oppressive BYU administrator (unnamed by the Proprietor but easily identified) and then denying he said anything is quite revealing. Truly a Galileo event.)
I am pleased to report that the Proprietor has edited his post to remove the inappropriate language I highlighted yesterday:
Suddenly, and to my considerable surprise, I ran into something. I couldn't figure out what it was, so I put my hands out in front of me. What I felt seemed like a human head, which was not at all something that I had expected. It was at roughly waist level. Puzzled, I felt around a bit more. I couldn't figure it out. I took my time with my hands. Why no reaction? I could feel what seemed to be a neck, and then shoulders. It was baffling.
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Everybody Wang Chung
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Re: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and "Oh!": The Afore's Dark BYU Basement Mystery

Post by Everybody Wang Chung »

Tom wrote:
Fri Jan 09, 2026 9:50 pm
Tom wrote:
Thu Jan 08, 2026 9:07 pm


That’s unfortunate phrasing. (I understand that the BYU library places books containing similar verbiage in a locked case.) I strongly recommend that the Proprietor remove or heavily edit this sentence before he publishes the story for the public to read.

Like others, I am left wondering why the young Proprietor did not say a word during his physical encounter with another BYU student.

To be candid, I haven’t read anything so curious from the Proprietor since a friend called my attention to a recent post of his titled “Memories of President Jeffrey R. Holland.” (The Proprietor’s breathless account of muttering an apocryphal Galileo saying in defiance of an oppressive BYU administrator (unnamed by the Proprietor but easily identified) and then denying he said anything is quite revealing. Truly a Galileo event.)
I am pleased to report that the Proprietor has edited his post to remove the inappropriate language I highlighted yesterday:
Suddenly, and to my considerable surprise, I ran into something. I couldn't figure out what it was, so I put my hands out in front of me. What I felt seemed like a human head, which was not at all something that I had expected. It was at roughly waist level. Puzzled, I felt around a bit more. I couldn't figure it out. I took my time with my hands. Why no reaction? I could feel what seemed to be a neck, and then shoulders. It was baffling.
Tom,

They say you get what you pay for, but your work for the Interpreter Foundation proves the exception to the rule. On behalf of the Interpreter Foundation and the Afore, I would like to thank you for consistently saving them from themselves, one bizarre and inappropriate comment at a time, and for doing it all out of the goodness of your heart.

Posted from Mexican Hat, UT
"I'm on paid sabbatical from BYU in exchange for my promise to use this time to finish two books."

Daniel C. Peterson, 2014
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Re: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and "Oh!": The Afore's Dark BYU Basement Mystery

Post by I Have Questions »

Just to be clear, Peterson is describing himself holding someone’s head in his hands whilst they were kneeling in front of him in the dark, with their head at his waist height…do I have that right?
Premise 1. Eyewitness testimony is notoriously unreliable.
Premise 2. The best evidence for the Book of Mormon is eyewitness testimony.
Conclusion. Therefore, the best evidence for the Book of Mormon is notoriously unreliable.
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Re: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and "Oh!": The Afore's Dark BYU Basement Mystery

Post by Res Ipsa »

Everybody Wang Chung wrote:
Fri Jan 09, 2026 10:22 pm
Tom wrote:
Fri Jan 09, 2026 9:50 pm

I am pleased to report that the Proprietor has edited his post to remove the inappropriate language I highlighted yesterday:
Tom,

They say you get what you pay for, but your work for the Interpreter Foundation proves the exception to the rule. On behalf of the Interpreter Foundation and the Afore, I would like to thank you for consistently saving them from themselves, one bizarre and inappropriate comment at a time, and for doing it all out of the goodness of your heart.

Posted from Mexican Hat, UT
Mexican Hat? I’m so jealous!
he/him
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Re: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and "Oh!": The Afore's Dark BYU Basement Mystery

Post by drumdude »

The edit makes it so much more gross. Yuck.
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Re: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and "Oh!": The Afore's Dark BYU Basement Mystery

Post by Doctor Scratch »

Lol. You have to give credit where it’s due, and I will say: these personal anecdotes on SeN are the best things that the Afore has ever published. They are honest in a way that is distinct from the rest of his oeuvre. They also make for way better reading than the plagiarized material.

Dean Robbers once observed that the Mopologists have no senae of self-reflection: it’s like they are totally clueless about how they come across. I would say that is 100% true of these SeN entries, but that is part of their charm, I suppose.
"If, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
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Re: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and "Oh!": The Afore's Dark BYU Basement Mystery

Post by canpakes »

Everybody Wang Chung wrote:
Thu Jan 08, 2026 6:04 pm
The Afore sets the stage in a dark basement, while he is looking for furniture.
I thought that this was the story of when he first met JD Vance.
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Re: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and "Oh!": The Afore's Dark BYU Basement Mystery

Post by Tom »

Everybody Wang Chung wrote:
Fri Jan 09, 2026 10:22 pm
Tom wrote:
Fri Jan 09, 2026 9:50 pm

I am pleased to report that the Proprietor has edited his post to remove the inappropriate language I highlighted yesterday:
Tom,

They say you get what you pay for, but your work for the Interpreter Foundation proves the exception to the rule. On behalf of the Interpreter Foundation and the Afore, I would like to thank you for consistently saving them from themselves, one bizarre and inappropriate comment at a time, and for doing it all out of the goodness of your heart.

Posted from Mexican Hat, UT
You’re too kind, Everybody Wang Chung.

By the way, have you had the good fortune to feast on the funeral potatoes sandwich on fry bread at the Hat Rock Café? I recommend washing the sandwich down with a tall glass of Green Jello with Shredded Carrots Fresca. My soulmate and I make a point of stopping for lunch at the quaint eatery every time we pass through Mexican Hat.
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Re: Head, Shoulders, Knees, and "Oh!": The Afore's Dark BYU Basement Mystery

Post by Marcus »

I Have Questions wrote:
Fri Jan 09, 2026 10:38 pm
Just to be clear, Peterson is describing himself holding someone’s head in his hands whilst they were kneeling in front of him in the dark, with their head at his waist height…do I have that right?
Yes. And taking his time with his hands.
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