I fully understand that Lem was correcting a mistake I made - I have no issues with that at all. So why did I "sperg out over nothing?" Because there is a long history with Lem - I'm not a fan. At all. So I made the decision to reply in the way I did. Hind sight being 20-20, I probably should have returned a dew dozen "sighs" as well.
Then, I was treated to see the courageous, balanced and deep wisdom on display when Jersey Girl flew in, on her cape, to lend support to the "possibility" that I am a misogynistic.
None of this has anything to do with gender - So they can both go kick rocks!
I don't fly on a cape. I didn't lend support. I am one of the female posters on this board who read the exchanges and wants to know why you flipped out over a benign correction. And now you are flipping out on me.
It's okay with me if you flip out. It's okay with me if any poster flips out around here. We're all human.
Notice your observation though. Two women show up on the same thread and one is working in support of the other. If that is the case, then what the hell are all the male posters doing around here? Working in support of each other? That's nonsense and you know it, Ceebs.
Thank you for pointing that out. Multiple men comment, but two women comment and suddenly ceeboo thinks the two women are in cahoots? The stereotypical assumptions run rampant.
This is such nonsense. But it's the nonsense women deal with daily.
I understand that there was no confusion about which Harvard. I was suggesting that because it was Harvard (prestige/awesome/wow) the response was "You mean the one in Massachusetts?"
Keep in mind we are missing some context that she would be seeing. Many times we can tell by things like facial expressions what they are meaning or communicating.
Keep in mind we are missing some context that she would be seeing. Many times we can tell by things like facial expressions what they are meaning or communicating. Her experience also seems to suggest she was not seeing the same kind of question of white people. Myself I don't respond like that unless I am questioning the accuracy of the answer. Given the time period I suspect people were questioning the accuracy of her answer because of her race, which was probably common. Stereotypes that even affect us unconsciously still exists, and the idea of blacks being lazy and stupid was a common stereotype of the past that can influence us even today. We even have a person who post's here that still holds that idea consciously.
Bolded for agreement, sadly. Her examples are tough to read, especially after her initial explanation of why she doesn't normally explain these. I'm sure she has taken plenty of flack for opening up about the issue, which she knew would happen, based on her initial explanation as to why she was doing this:
...because I realized many of my friends—especially the white ones—have no idea what I’ve experienced/dealt with unless they were present (and aware) when it happened. There are two reasons for this: 1) because not only as a human being do I suppress the painful and uncomfortable in an effort to make it go away, I was also taught within my community (I was raised in the ’70s and ’80s—it’s shifted somewhat now) and by society at large NOT to make a fuss, speak out, or rock the boat. To just “deal with it,” lest more trouble follow (which, sadly, it often does)....
9. On my very first date with my now husband, I climbed into his car and saw baby wipes on the passenger-side floor. He said he didn’t have kids, they were just there to clean up messes in the car. I twisted to secure my seatbelt and saw a stuffed animal in the rear window. I gave him a look. He said, “I promise, I don’t have kids. That’s only there so I don’t get stopped by the police.” He then told me that when he drove home from work late at night, he was getting stopped by cops constantly because he was a black man in a luxury car and they assumed that either it was stolen or he was a drug dealer. When he told a cop friend about this, Warren was told to put a stuffed animal in the rear window because it would change “his profile” to that of a family man and he was much less likely to be stopped. The point here is, if you’ve never had to mask the fruits of your success with a floppy-eared, stuffed bunny rabbit so you won’t get harassed by the cops on the way home from your gainful employment (or never had a first date start this way), you have white privilege.
10. Six years ago, I started a Facebook page that has grown into a website called Good Black News because I was shocked to find there were no sites dedicated solely to publishing the positive things black people do. (And let me explain here how biased the coverage of mainstream media is in case you don’t already have a clue—as I curate, I can’t tell you how often I have to swap out a story’s photo to make it as positive as the content. Photos published of black folks in mainstream media are very often sullen- or angry-looking. Even when it’s a positive story! I also have to alter headlines constantly to 1) include a person’s name and not have it just be “Black Man Wins Settlement” or “Carnegie Hall Gets 1st Black Board Member,” or 2) rephrase it from a subtle subjugator like “ABC taps Viola Davis as Series Lead” to “Viola Davis Lands Lead on ABC Show” as is done for, say, Jennifer Aniston or Steven Spielberg. I also receive a fair amount of highly offensive racist trolling. I don’t even respond. I block and delete ASAP. The point here is, if you’ve never had to rewrite stories and headlines or swap photos while being trolled by racists when all you’re trying to do on a daily basis is promote positivity and share stories of hope and achievement and justice, you have white privilege.
OK, Jason, there’s more, but I’m exhausted. And my kids need dinner. Remembering and reliving many of these moments has been a strain and a drain (and, again, this ain’t even the half or the worst of it). But I hope my experiences shed some light for you on how institutional and personal racism have affected the entire life of a friend of yours to whom you’ve only been respectful and kind. I hope what I’ve shared makes you realize it’s not just strangers, but people you know and care for who have suffered and are suffering because we are excluded from the privilege you have not to be judged, questioned, or assaulted in any way because of your race.
As to you “being part of the problem,” trust me, nobody is mad at you for being white. Nobody. Just like nobody should be mad at me for being black. Or female. Or whatever. But what IS being asked of you is to acknowledge that white privilege DOES exist and not only to treat people of races that differ from yours “with respect and humor,” but also to stand up for fair treatment and justice, not to let “jokes” or “off-color” comments by friends, co-workers, or family slide by without challenge, and to continually make an effort to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, so we may all cherish and respect our unique and special contributions to society as much as we do our common ground.
