Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

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consiglieri
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Re: Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

Post by consiglieri »

Lem wrote:
Thu May 20, 2021 10:04 pm
The comments from consiglieri and Kishkumen have been extremely revealing. It is people like these two that make it so difficult to come forward when something has happened.

Between the comments like 'mental,' 'are you unhinged', 'she's losing it', 'serious things happened today how dare you have a problem,' the 12 single sentence paragraphs mocking the person while simultaneously stating they don't know the person, the poster who suggested this is trivial but still made the effort to look up a pic and determine if it was actually "sexy" or not, the one who stated it was her fault for doing the "crap" necessary to notice excessive liking but won't acknowledge that someone may legitimately feel uncomfortable, the "you don't know anything" while NEVER applying a similar standard to his own posts, all while defending their abuse by saying they think Dehhlin could behave better--but not actually applying the same rigid standards to him that they have used to trash women, etc. , this thread is a perfect example of the Crap people face when trying to come forward about something.

Kish, you stated recently that you think you have interacted well with women online. Let me add to your information--no, you haven't. You absolutely have NOT. And consig, wow. I would never have thought this before this week, but you're a pig.

On the other hand, other posters such as Doc Cam, dastardly stem, Dr. exiled and others have made some great, rational comments. Thank you. It has been an enlightening week here. I'm pretty sure I understand why various well known women from MD's past have for the most part left this forum.
Why don’t you give the armchair psychoanalysis routine a rest, Lem?

It’s not only boring and predictable, you’re starting to make me “uncomfortable.”
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Kishkumen
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Re: Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

Post by Kishkumen »

dastardly stem wrote:
Thu May 20, 2021 9:54 pm
Whatever the case, I'm tired of seeing him acting the victim. Much like the Rosebud situation he could have settled this from the start--apologize, admit the failure, let the story fit in with his request to identify the problems men do and move on. His over-reaction is kind of eye opening. It's stupid. He obviously attempted to flirt with her, thinking he held some sort of license.

Move on, bro. Stop...you aren't doing yourself favors. Then again, he has followers for a reason...so what do I know?
I agree with you, stem. I would also like to note, however, that JD did not intend that letter for public consumption.
"I have learned with what evils tyranny infects a state. For it frustrates all the virtues, robs freedom of its lofty mood, and opens a school of fawning and terror, inasmuch as it leaves matters not to the wisdom of the laws, but to the angry whim of those who are in authority.”
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Atlantic
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Re: Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

Post by Atlantic »

dastardly stem wrote:
Thu May 20, 2021 9:06 pm
I must have missed a bunch. I didn't realize this lady and a bunch of her friends actually did bombard his MS Facebook with complaints.
I went back and found the post in question on the Mormon Stories Facebook page. It is clear from the woman's original comment and the subsequent replies that it was not a premeditated, concerted brigade against John all at once. The post John wrote asked for examples of ways ex-Mormon men could treat women better. The woman posted and said that John previously liked a bunch of pictures of her at once, particularly liking only the ones that were showing off more of her body, made her uncomfortable. People then replied to her original comment to second what she was saying, i.e., they also thought John's behavior was creepy and would make them uncomfortable if it happened to them. In context, what is very clear is that none of this was premeditated, none of this was a concerted directed effort to smear and defame John orchestrated by the original poster. She posted an on-topic answer to a question John himself posed. Other people agreed with the woman's read of the situation and commented to voice their agreement. This is really easy to see, in my opinion, by simply looking at the post. Nothing nefarious happened, but it looks like John assumed it was coordinated. That's why earlier, I mentioned I think that John doesn't really understand how Facebook groups work.
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Kishkumen
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Re: Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

Post by Kishkumen »

Sounds like both of them could use help dealing with Facebook.
"I have learned with what evils tyranny infects a state. For it frustrates all the virtues, robs freedom of its lofty mood, and opens a school of fawning and terror, inasmuch as it leaves matters not to the wisdom of the laws, but to the angry whim of those who are in authority.”
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Re: Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

Post by Kishkumen »

Lem wrote:
Thu May 20, 2021 10:04 pm
The comments from consiglieri and Kishkumen have been extremely revealing. It is people like these two that make it so difficult to come forward when something has happened.
Yes, I am the one making it difficult for people to send emissaries to discussion boards to stoke outrage among strangers who don’t know them or their whole story. It couldn’t be that this whole approach is poorly advised. It must be me.

It could also be that this person I do not know and do not want to know thinks little of me and my opinion, which, as I have freely stated, is based on wholly inadequate information.

If so, she is pretty damned smart.
Between the comments like 'mental,' 'are you unhinged', 'she's losing it', 'serious things happened today how dare you have a problem,' the 12 single sentence paragraphs mocking the person while simultaneously stating they don't know the person, the poster who suggested this is trivial but still made the effort to look up a pic and determine if it was actually "sexy" or not, the one who stated it was her fault for doing the "crap" necessary to notice excessive liking but won't acknowledge that someone may legitimately feel uncomfortable, the "you don't know anything" while NEVER applying a similar standard to his own posts, all while defending their abuse by saying they think Dehhlin could behave better--but not actually applying the same rigid standards to him that they have used to trash women, etc. , this thread is a perfect example of the Crap people face when trying to come forward about something.
Hopefully this healthy, well-adjusted person with a legitimate grievance understands that I don’t know enough to be able to judge her actions, and that I am only offering my opinion based on what I was told. Yes, her case didn’t look too good based on what I was shown, but that can’t be her fault because she is not here to accuse John. She sent Meadowchik to do it for her. Or, perhaps more accurately, Meadowchik took it upon herself to present this person’s case, albeit with her permission.

She is not here to tell us how well Meadowchik did in terms of accuracy and completeness, so I don’t know what to make of her actual case. I only know what I think of Meadowchik’s project thus far and what she has presented. That may have little to do with this person.
Kish, you stated recently that you think you have interacted well with women online. Let me add to your information--no, you haven't. You absolutely have NOT. And consig, wow. I would never have thought this before this week, but you're a pig.
Awwwww.... Does this mean you won’t friend me on Facebook anytime soon? Or that you’ll be unfriending me?

How devastating!
On the other hand, other posters such as Doc Cam, dastardly stem, Dr. exiled and others have made some great, rational comments. Thank you. It has been an enlightening week here. I'm pretty sure I understand why various well known women from MD's past have for the most part left this forum.
Well done, gentlemen! I commend you. I knew I was taking a risk in presenting what I thought was, on the one hand, balanced censure of John Dehlin’s clearly poor behavior and, on the other hand, appropriate disdain for cyber-lynching on very partial evidence, but I can see that some people are outraged by my alleged callousness and depravity.

I am sure that the alleged exodus of women from here and MDB is the fault of knuckle-dragging subhuman scum like consiglieri and me. Pigs, you know. It is so lovely to be treated with human compassion by those who judge so fairly and kindly as you do, Lem. You really know how not to hide your light under a bushel.
"I have learned with what evils tyranny infects a state. For it frustrates all the virtues, robs freedom of its lofty mood, and opens a school of fawning and terror, inasmuch as it leaves matters not to the wisdom of the laws, but to the angry whim of those who are in authority.”
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Re: Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

Post by Doctor CamNC4Me »

Kishkumen wrote:
Thu May 20, 2021 10:21 pm
dastardly stem wrote:
Thu May 20, 2021 9:54 pm
Whatever the case, I'm tired of seeing him acting the victim. Much like the Rosebud situation he could have settled this from the start--apologize, admit the failure, let the story fit in with his request to identify the problems men do and move on. His over-reaction is kind of eye opening. It's stupid. He obviously attempted to flirt with her, thinking he held some sort of license.

Move on, bro. Stop...you aren't doing yourself favors. Then again, he has followers for a reason...so what do I know?
I agree with you, stem. I would also like to note, however, that JD did not intend that letter for public consumption.
Lol. Man. If you send anything electronically with the expectation of privacy and you’ve been on the Internet for more than a day, you’re fantastically uninitiated to the realities of this world <- that’s an excuse for a child, but a PhD-holding professional who’s already had his life revealed to the world? That’s fantastically boneheaded. Good Lord that’s dumb.

edit: instead of making another post I’ll just tack onto this one: I’m fully aware I’m one of the reasons a lot of women have felt uncomfortable on this forum due to my combative and, from their viewpoints, misogynistic shitposting. So, I just want to state that I’m definitely culpable for a lot of that. I’m going to own that.

- Doc
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Dr Moore
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Re: Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

Post by Dr Moore »

Yeah, with incomplete information about factual behavior, context and intent, it's pretty much a guessing game. Which makes threads like this a waste of time and talent, with nothing but negative externalities. Now that the iron dome has collapsed, I wish someone would call a cease fire in this holy war over the Dehlinian strip.

<3 to all of you.
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Kishkumen
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Re: Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

Post by Kishkumen »

Doctor CamNC4Me wrote:
Fri May 21, 2021 12:08 am
Lol. Man. If you send anything electronically with the expectation of privacy and you’ve been on the Internet for more than a day, you’re fantastically uninitiated to the realities of this world <- that’s an excuse for a child, but a PhD-holding professional who’s already had his life revealed to the world? That’s fantastically boneheaded. Good Lord that’s dumb.

edit: instead of making another post I’ll just tack onto this one: I’m fully aware I’m one of the reasons a lot of women have felt uncomfortable on this forum due to my combative and, from their viewpoints, misogynistic shitposting. So, I just want to state that I’m definitely culpable for a lot of that. I’m going to own that.

- Doc
Yeah, I do understand the realities of electronic “privacy.” You are right. He has no expectation of privacy there.

Over the years I heard rumors of others hitting on certain women on MDB repeatedly behind the scenes. I was appalled and disappointed with the guys who were accused of doing those things. I felt badly about how things developed with the accusations of Martha Nibley Beck, whom I was not ultimately convinced was abused by Nibley, and McKenna Denson, whom I still believe was the actual victim of Joseph Bishop, despite her problems. These situations can be really difficult to sift through, but I honestly try to do my best. I apologize for those times I have gotten carried away in my rhetoric or I have been insensitive. I know I have here.
"I have learned with what evils tyranny infects a state. For it frustrates all the virtues, robs freedom of its lofty mood, and opens a school of fawning and terror, inasmuch as it leaves matters not to the wisdom of the laws, but to the angry whim of those who are in authority.”
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Tavares Standfield
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Re: Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

Post by Tavares Standfield »

The same forces that killed New Atheism are now tearing down the once thriving ex-Mormon movement.

I want nothing to do with ex-Mormonism+ and the narcissistic detractors of John Dehlin who seek to hurt the man and the movement to serve their own egos.
Meadowchik
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Re: Problematic John Dehlin, a short list

Post by Meadowchik »

Kishkumen wrote:
Thu May 20, 2021 9:30 pm
Oh my! Well, do tell, Meadowchik. I mean, you've come this far. Surely you have permission to unload the rest of the data, right? You wouldn't be pulling a Rosebud for us like R herself or her lackey JP, would you?
Dehlin already corroborated that it was much more than one photo.
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